Little Changes
by Pongo0614
Summary: From her first day at Waterloo Road to her last, there were always little changes that Rachel could have made for a better outcome. Mainly so she was with Eddie. Reddie. (All chapters are separate from each other. Some are extra chapters. Some are what ifs).
1. Series 3 Episode 7

_Here we are. Back with another fic and my imagination._

_So this started out as a small 25 chapter story. Just going through the episodes from Series 3 Episode 7 to Series 4 Episode 10. Mainly because there were quite a few things that I thought I could either write about or change (yes, like I said on Twitter, a reoccurring theme here is going to be putting right what the writers did wrong. You can thank me later). But it has now changed to a 31 chapter story... and it has been painful to watch from Series 4 Episode 1 to Episode 7. Honestly, horrific. You lot will be glad of a few of the changes I have made._

_For the beginning here, it is mainly going to be like extra chapters to the first couple of episodes or slight changes to the way episodes ended. You'll catch my drift with this chapter and hopefully the rest of them as well._

_So please enjoy._

* * *

**Series 3 Episode 7**

Rachel knew she had some making up to do. Eddie was sort of right when he questioned everything that she was doing. She was changing a lot in a small amount of time but she was only doing it so that Waterloo Road had a future.

His ego had obviously been hurt. She had heard him question Ria, about Nigel giving him the role of Acting Head and he had obvious hung on to that by the things that were in her office.

The only problem was that Eddie was looking too short term. Everything that she was doing was for the long term benefit of the school. Obviously she wasn't going to take the core subjects out of the curriculum. She couldn't do that and she wouldn't be a teacher without them. But she wanted to be able to offer more to the students that it didn't work for. School was meant to be a place where they come to learn. Why bore them to death with subjects they have no interest in when they could put their minds to better use?

Obviously the winner of her little experiment wasn't who she was targeting. Not by a long shot. Brett Aspinall would leave Waterloo Road with a lot more than most of the other students. But it was students like Maxine and Janeece, who really got on board with the idea, that she wanted to inspire. There were quite a few good ideas floating around.

She needed Eddie's support because the staff trusted him and he would be more likely to change their minds about what she was trying to do.

She would just have to bite the bullet and maybe eat a little humble pie in the process.

* * *

"Look before Steph turns up, I want to apologise. I get what you mean with the whole 'bomb up the backside' stuff. I also get that you probably upset that I was shipped in. You were obviously looking forward to putting your own stamp on the old place." Rachel said.

It obviously wasn't what Eddie expected from her.

"Right."

"I am looking forward to working with you. Ria did speak highly of you. I'm not saying that I am always going to agree with everything that you say but I am sure you have some good ideas. Like the trip next week. I can see what you are trying to do, I just don't think it will work in that way."

"Well, expect the same back. I have been here since September. I do know quite a few of the kids and their backgrounds. Like yesterday with Mika. I wasn't trying to undermine you, I just knew her reasons for drinking a whole bottle of vodka."

"Then maybe you can catch me up. Get me up to speed. Because it seems like you know the kids better than Steph."

"Steph's heart is usually in the right place."

"I'm not saying that. But from what I have heard, Mika may not have drunk that bottle of vodka if Steph had taken five minutes to listen to her."

"And I also believe her when she said that Jack didn't really outline her responsibilities. By the sounds of things, she was the only one to go for the job."

"Then that is where we need to support her. As I said yesterday, that letter was there to warn as well as put in writing that I am going to support her. How are we going to get this school out of trouble when the senior management team aren't all working towards the same goals."

"And as I said yesterday, I hope you know what you are doing."

"Trust me, Eddie. Even if I am only here until the end of next term, this place will not be the same by the time I leave. And that is a promise."

There was a hint of a smile on his lips. She didn't know whether to take it as a good sign or not. She usually felt like she could read people really well. But not Eddie for some reason. He was a little harder to read.

"Fine. I have a free period after break. Maybe you could take me through your grand plans again."

"Does that mean you might actually listen to me when I explain them again?"

"Don't push it."

She pushed her lips together to stop herself from smiling as Steph finally joined them, five minutes late but Rachel wasn't going to bring that up now. There was no point in berating her any more than she had already done. She might just have to bite her tongue for the moment. Although she felt like she was close to getting Eddie's support. Something that she knew that she would have to rely on at times.

* * *

"Go on then. Who are these boys that you want to turn around?" Rachel said.

"Bolton Smilie and his little gang."

"Right. What's the history?"

"They were involved in a fight club. We only found out about it when Paul wanted to join because his uncle was… their family have a history of mental illness. His mother took her own life and his uncle wasn't coping. Paul wanted to be able to stand up to him and asked Bolton for help."

"I guess you have been keeping an eye on Paul since."

"Naturally."

"Good. Bolton?"

"Candice, his mum, works in the canteen. He hates to disappoint her but he keeps doing so. A number of ASBOs. Basically, if he doesn't change, he will end up in prison for good."

"So boys with potential, they just plan on wasting it."

"We just need to focus them."

"Which we will be able to do once we get Business and Enterprise College status."

"You said that a lot yesterday. What do you actually mean by it?"

"It will mean that we can offer vocational courses. You focus in on Travel and Tourism yesterday. There is more to it than just carrying a rucksack. Whether the kids want to go on a gap year or want a career as a travel agent, it helps to offer them an insight and it better prepares them for the outside world. A handful of the sixth form will go to university. It is better to send the rest of them off with English, Maths and a vocational course than just English and Maths. With the right tools, these kids could walk into a job rather than ending up causing trouble."

"Seems like you have it all planned out."

She leant back in her chair before she took in Eddie. She could tell that he was still sceptical but she could admit that would probably be the way that she was if someone new came into her school and tried to tell them how to do their job.

"Okay." He said as he threw the booklet onto her desk. "You have my support. And I suppose I should apologise for my behaviour as well yesterday."

"I get it. You thought you had the job for me to come in and take it from you. I think I would have been just as unpleasant if it was the other way round."

"Well, it wasn't exactly welcoming."

"You still give me six months, don't you?"

"How about we see how the next five weeks go? Let's get this stupid Business and Enterprise College status and then we will see where we are."

"Fine. I am looking forward to working with you. Whether it is for the short or long term."

He gave her a small smile which she knew was a start. Did he trust her? Probably not. But this was only the start of their working relationship and she knew that once the initial shock of everything had died down, they would make a great team. She could just tell that they could build something special together at Waterloo Road. She just had to ride out the next couple of weeks.


	2. Series 3 Episode 8

_Thank you for the reviews._

_In Push My Luck (still one of my favourite stories that I have ever written), I mentioned a comment I made in this story regarding the number of English teachers at Waterloo Road. That has come mainly because Rachel is an English teacher in my head and I think I have got a way around why she has a bachelor of science degree instead of a bachelor of arts degree (looked it up many times to make it work)._

_Also, all these chapters are stand-alone... It will make more sense when I actually start changing things._

* * *

**Series 3 Episode 8**

"Can we talk about earlier?" Eddie said.

"What part?"

"When you were being rather harsh to Miss Forgatt?"

"Not really."

"Eh?"

Rachel sighed. She knew this conversation was coming once the Forgatts left.

"I would rather not talk about it, Eddie."

"Why not?"

"Because I have only known you for a week."

"What does that have to do with anything?"

There was a part of her that wanted to tell him everything, for some reason. The only problem was that she knew that if she started talking about her childhood and where she grew up, she would have to eventually reveal her secret to him. Her dark secret that could ruin everything for her. The one thing that she could never tell anyone about.

"I do know what you all think of me. What is this middle-class person doing in a working-class school? She has had every opportunity in the world. How can she help these kids when they will never have the same opportunities that she had?"

"What do you mean by that?"

"There is a reason why kids that are at risk of exclusion are a high priority for me."

"Why don't you just tell me, Rachel? Rather than working in riddles."

She took a deep breath. "I was Sally once."

"How do you mean?"

"The absent Mum. Looking after my little sister. Not that there is the same age gap."

"I have an older brother. Three years old than me."

"There are five years between us."

"Grew up in Stafford."

She smiled, realising that he was giving little bits of himself so that she would tell him. Clever of him.

"On the outskirts of London."

"Choose Maths because it was the only thing I was ever good at."

"English. Was always a sucker for a good story."

"But…"

"Bachelor of Science? I took a combined degree. They were really pushing Computer Science when I was looking into becoming a teacher. So I have a combined Computer Science and English degree. I just preferred the English side of things."

"Dear god. This school is swimming in English teachers. And no wonder you found that Maths teacher as dull as ditchwater."

"What do you mean by that?"

"Either you get words or you get numbers. I get numbers."

"I didn't hurt your ego by saying that, did I?"

He gave a short laugh before wincing. "It bet your boyfriend never threw himself off a crag."

"I know I said I used to go out with a maths teacher but he wasn't my boyfriend. I was set up on a blind date. But no he didn't. Maybe not all maths teachers are so dull."

"No, you are just laughing at my pain."

"Maybe just a little."

She giggled as he winced again and she had no idea why he was making her feel the way that she did. He, for some reason, made her feel at ease and she felt like she was a young girl with a crush. Not that she did have a crush on Eddie. It was way too soon and bearing in mind last week, she thought that he hated her. She only asked the question because of the way that he was looking at her.

"What?"

"Nothing."

"No, you are thinking about something. What is it?"

"The whole middle class/working class thing you said earlier."

"Yeah?" Rachel said, regretting ever saying anything about that.

"That might be Steph or Grantley. But that isn't me."

"No. You just dislike me because I took your job. You still give me only six months."

"Rachel, it has been a week. I doubt that you have always click instantly with the people you have worked with."

"Not when this is only my third headteacher job."

"Your third!"

"I am only 37. I think I have climbed the ladder quite quickly."

"I suppose. Maybe I understand your outrageously ambitious plans a little more."

"What?!"

"You are obviously an ambitious person."

"I am just trying to do the right thing by the kids in this school and every school I have worked at."

"Aren't we all?"

"I suppose so."

Rachel shared a smile with him. She knew that they would do what she said earlier. They would find a way to kick the boys' arses.

* * *

"Should you really be teaching with that? I mean, we still have the cover sheet. We can at least still cover your lessons."

"I'll be fine Rachel," Eddie said as he turned his whole upper body towards her.

"You sure?"

"Positive. It might help me forget the pain."

"Still sore?" She said, slightly mocking him in her concern.

"Don't push it. Didn't have a great night's sleep."

"Good thing you now might not see me until lunchtime."

"Why not?"

"Going to see whether I can arrange a meeting with Miss Forgatt. See whether we can help her out so that we don't have another episode like we did yesterday."

"You said to Sally that you believed her mum."

"This is me making sure she keeps that promise."

"It is what you would have wanted? Growing up?"

Her eyes flicked to him a couple of times. "I'm not going to say that someone noticing would have changed anything, but it might have done. It might have stopped quite a few things from happening."

"Well, I have a free after lunch. Maybe we can start brainstorming some ideas for how we are going to tackle the boys."

"Good idea. I will see you later." She said as they reached the top of the stairs to her office.

"See you later. Hopefully with some good ideas."

Rachel sighed as she watched him go, with a smile on her face. There was just something about Eddie that she couldn't quite put her finger on. It was like, in a week, his whole attitude towards her had changed and she knew that by the end of term, they would be working as a team.

She knew that Steph probably wasn't going to get on board so soon and maybe a rethink of her position in the school would be for the best. Try and find her a role that she could get on board with and slide someone else into the role of Pastoral Care. She would, of course, run it past Eddie first. Something to discuss later perhaps.


	3. Series 3 Episode 9

_Thank you for the reviews._

_I have this thing that... during her time as a prostitute, Rachel got pregnant. Don't know why I keep revising it that but it isn't going to end with this story either..._

_Also a little from Eddie's POV... because we would all like to know what he thinks of his new boss..._

* * *

**Series 3 Episode 9**

"I don't know whether I like you being quiet," Eddie said.

He knew at some point she would bring up Micheal and his ex-wife and he wished she could just drop it. Of course, he was miserable without Micheal but it was easier than trying to deal with Alison.

"Just thinking."

"Look if this is about Micheal, you're wasting your breath."

"No. Maybe I have just allowed the day's events wash over me and now I actually have the chance to think them over as well."

"What do you mean by that?"

Her eyes flicked over to him. "Maybe when you said about you being a father to Micheal and Stephen, I should have mentioned I had the chance of being a mother."

"Rachel."

"Miscarried at 18 weeks. Just thinking over Maxine's story and… I tried to ignore it as well. I… I wasn't in the best of situations and… there were external factors as well. I never got the chance to even hold them."

"God Rachel! It was why you wanted to be there for the girls."

She leant forward and picked her wine. "This was definitely needed."

"If I ask any questions."

"I don't want to talk about it, Eddie. It was a bad point in my life and I would rather not discuss it."

"Why?"

She laughed. "You are persistent."

"You seem persistent in me calling my ex-wife."

"My past I can't change. No matter how much I want to. You can change the fact that you don't see your son."

"How bad can it be?"

He could tell that she couldn't look at him. That had pretty much answered his question that it was bad as she was trying to find out a way to try and move on the conversation.

"Let's leave it at… your whole perception of me would change if I told you."

"I doubt that."

"No."

"What?"

"You're not trying that. I'm not telling you, Eddie."

Eddie sighed as he picked up his drink. He hoped it would work but she was as stubborn as ever not to let him in. Although, if it was as bad as she was saying it was, maybe only knowing someone for two weeks is a good enough excuse.

He knew that he had to stop being an awkward sod. She had proven today that she was calm enough to deal with a subject as personal as the events that had unfolded today while he had allowed his personal life and emotions play a part in his behaviour.

Maybe she was good for the school.

"Do you want another?" He asked.

"Go on then."

* * *

Rachel didn't know whether she had done the right thing. She couldn't help but agree with Eddie that Alison wasn't the easiest person in the world to communicate with but she felt like she had got across the reason why she was calling.

She knew better than to try and mediate someone else's life. She had done it in the past and it hadn't gone down too well. But this felt more personal to her.

Even though Michael didn't know it now, she knew that the older he got, the more he would blame himself for Eddie leaving or for him not being around.

It was what she did. Mainly because she never found out the true reason why her dad walked out on them when she was five. It couldn't have been because of Melissa. She was only six months old. It had to be something to do with her because her mum was upset when he left.

The missing Dad, absent Mum, with a little sister that seemed to get away with everything. A great childhood.

But she knew that it reflected also in her missed opportunity.

The baby that she was carrying at age 19 was more than just a baby to her. It was hope. It was a way out. It was a reason to try and turn her life around.

She had no idea who the father was, there was no real way of tracking it either, but she didn't care. The baby was going to be hers and she would have been responsible for it.

Rachel sighed as she finished off her wine and made a move to get home. She didn't need to be wallowing in her own self-pity. She had moved on from that life. She was Rachel Mason now, not Amanda Fenshaw. There was no reason for her to look back on that life.

Except Eddie wanted to know about it.

She wanted to let him in but she knew how much of a bad idea that was. She didn't have to tell him about that life if she didn't have to. Even though she knew that he would eventually ask why she didn't speak about her life before she was 19 in the end.

She hadn't missed the way that his eyes kept roaming down her body, especially after the 'heart of gold' comment. She had been used to that sort of attention in her youth and didn't get it so much now that she was 20ish years older and in a totally different profession. She hadn't missed his little comments either.

Just she knew that it was better to keep people at arm's length. If she didn't let anyone get too close to her then they wouldn't find out about her past and then they would be disgusted with her and break up with her. She couldn't deal with another broken heart.

She had learnt her lesson the hard way. Eddie Lawson wasn't finding out about her past or getting too close to her, no matter how attractive she found him.


	4. Series 3 Episode 10

_Thank you for the reviews._

_From now, there is definitely going to a reoccurring theme to these chapters. Well this chapter and then from episode 12 until 16... you can probably guess what the theme is. Just had a lot of fun having Eddie react to it in different ways... And Rachel to come to think about it._

* * *

**Series 3 Episode 10**

"No, you are still freaking out about something. I will tell Alison that we can meet up tomorrow to talk." Eddie said as he walked up to her as Rachel was about to get into her car.

"You can't do that."

"I can when you don't seem as confident as you were this morning. And I don't think earlier was because you were nervous."

"Eddie…"

"Rachel, you need to start letting me in. Maybe I can help. I am your deputy after all." He paused for a moment. "And I was kinda hoping I was becoming your friend as well."

She felt the same way as he did but the reason she was freaking out would mean that she would have to tell him something that would ruin the friendship that they were building. She didn't want that when she felt like he was the first person that she felt like she could rely on for a very long time.

"And don't tell me that you are fine."

"Look, you go and wine and dine your son and Alison. Honestly, Eddie, I am fine."

"What did I just say?"

She sighed. "Go out with Micheal and Alison. Come around mine tomorrow morning. Say 11. Maybe I would have thought of a way to tell you without your whole opinion of me changing by then."

"Rachel, after everything you have done for me, I don't think anything could change my opinion on you."

She knew that it wasn't true and she also knew that there was no backing out now.

* * *

"So, what's going on Rachel?"

Eddie had been rather prompt, for a change, and once she had made them coffee, they had settled in her living room and she was still working out how to tell him.

"That woman that we saw yesterday? The one that made a point of speaking to us?" She started.

"Yeah?"

"Well, she used to know me. I suppose I used to know her. We… We worked together."

"And that is bad how?"

Rachel hesitated and looked away from him. She could see his look from the corner of her eye, him willing her to tell him. How could she? How could she tell him what she used to do? How could she tell him without his whole opinion changing?

"Rachel?"

"I don't like talking about my past."

"I know. I have struggled to get the few details that I know about you, out of you."

"I don't really like talking about my life before I was 24."

"I think you are freaking me out more by not telling me."

"Because at 24, I changed my name to Rachel Mason and I started to become the person that I have always wanted to be and took advantage of the opportunities put in front of me and not ignoring them and taking the easier route because." She stopped and took a breath. "Because I had to take it."

"Rachel?"

She turned to him and just saw the worry in his eyes. She could easily read the man that she couldn't read when she first met him. The problem was, she was certain that he could read her like a book as well. It just showed how close they had become.

"I was… My name was… My parents called me Amanda. Up until the age of 24, I was Amanda Fenshaw. And I… She… I wasn't dealt the best hand in the world."

She turned away from him again. There was no way that she could tell him what she was about to, looking at him. She didn't want to see the disgust in his face. Because he would be disgusted by her.

"Dad left home when I was five." She continued. "Melissa was only six months old, so she couldn't have been the reason that he left. Him and Mum never argued, or never argued around me. So I guessed that I was the reason because I never found out the true reason. It's why I wouldn't stop going on about Micheal. Because one day, he would wonder why you aren't in his life and I didn't want him to come to the same conclusion as I did."

"Rachel." He breathed.

"I don't think Mum saw it coming. She just shut down and tried to do the best that she could. It was only as I got older that she would… go away for time for herself, basically leaving me to look after my sister. I don't actually know if I have any other family. It was just me, Mum and Melissa. That is all I knew and have ever known.

"Mum stopped working when I was 14 because she became ill. I was already helping out with trying to bring a little more money into the home but this was when we all started to become a bit desperate. Melissa hated it. She had always been popular and us not being able to afford everything that her friends could afford was a problem for her. Not that she would get her hands dirty and try and earn the money for what she wanted.

"I… I just wished someone noticed. I was getting so behind in my school work that the head pulled me into his office, called me all the names under the sun before telling me that I would never amount to anything. It wasn't like the school was one of the best in the country or London or something like that. The school was basically Waterloo Road but in London. I wanted to rebel, show him that I wasn't going to be what he said to me. It all backfired massively on me and I was expelled before I could take all of my exams. All I left school with was English and Geography. I didn't even get to my maths exam."

She sipped on her coffee as she waited for him to say something. She had to tell him everything. It was the only way that she felt like he would understand properly.

"Okay. Understanding your actions a lot more." Eddie said. "But what does this have to do with the woman from yesterday?"

"I had seen her around a couple of times before I got to know her properly. I got a job in a nightclub at 16, which I think should have been the start of knowing that something wasn't quite right. Apparently, quite a few of the… regulars… liked the look of me. I was 17 when they asked whether I wanted to be pulling pints and making drinks and working for like £4 an hour or did I want to make £1,000 a week. With Mum only getting worse and Melissa… The threat of being thrown out because we were behind with rent and… It was an attractive offer, even if I didn't know what it entailed at the time."

"Which was?"

Rachel found herself standing up, not being able to take the pressure of sitting down any longer. She wasn't used to this. She wasn't used to opening up like she just had and she was so close to telling him something that she had tried so hard to forget about. There was only one way to do it and that was to do it as bluntly as she could. They could argue about it later.

"Prostitution."

The word lingered in the air as Eddie processed what she had just told him. She found herself watching as his face changed from confusion to horror and disgust. It always ended in disgust.

"I'm sorry?"

"I… I was a prostitute Eddie. It… It took me two years to get out and… that is why I became a teacher. Because I knew better than anyone how easy it was to slip through the system."

Eddie stayed quiet for a moment.

"And this woman… was one as well."

"Yes."

"God Rachel."

"I told you that your opinion of me would change."

"But you… you… you were a prostitute."

"See why I was reluctant to tell you."

"What does this woman want?"

"Tess? No idea. She… she loved it. Some of the girls did. I didn't. At best, she was just curious. She is obviously in the area and my face has been all over the papers. Maybe she just wanted to make sure it was me."

"And at the worse?"

"She might want something. She will know that I will never want… it to come out."

"This is just insane," Eddie said before he stood up.

She allowed him a little more time to process it all. She could tell that he didn't particularly know what to do with himself as he sort of turned on the spot. She had to give it to him, she had expected his reaction to be worse.

"I guess the only thing we can do is wait it out. See if she does want something off you." He said eventually.

"Eddie, it's okay to be angry with me. I'm still angry with myself."

"I don't know how I feel about it."

"I was a completely different person then."

"I would hope so."

"Eddie."

He looked up at her and she didn't quite know how to take the look he was giving her.

"I… I need to know. Is it going to change things between us? Professionally and personally?" She said.

"I'm not going to go around, telling everyone, if that is what you are worried about."

"I wouldn't expect that off you. "

"Then what are you so worried about?"

"Losing your support, professionally."

"And personally?"

"Losing the first person that I felt like I could trust totally in my life." She paused. "I've never told anyone my full story before. Mainly because once someone finds out, they aren't as open to listening. We were becoming friends. I don't want to lose you over a stupid mistake I made when I had nothing else."

"I… I can't just accept what you did and move on."

"I don't expect you to."

"I don't think I can make any promises as well. Not if I don't end up keeping them."

"Understandable."

"But professionally, I am still with you. Personally… you might just have to give me a little time."

"I don't mind that. I… understand that it is a lot to take in."

His expression changed and she knew that he wasn't about to say anything else. She would have to give him the time to process what she had told him and she hoped that once the holidays were over, he might have made his mind up on whether it would affect their friendship.

"How did last night go with Micheal and Alison?"

Eddie smiled, which she took a bit of comfort in. They weren't totally starting again but it had affected their friendship. She just hoped that if it was going to come about that Tess wanted something from her, Rachel hoped that Eddie would be by her side to help her through it.


	5. Series 3 Episode 11

_Thank you for the reviews. Glad you are all enjoying this._

_Taking a small break from the whole prostitution storyline, for some good old fashion cuteness... because that is equally as good._

* * *

**Series 3 Episode 11**

"I'm guessing your little experiment went well then," Rachel asked.

"I was glad that I only brought one bottle of whisky. Jasmine was the only one to get a B."

"She hasn't left school long compared to some of them."

"Still. I think I have proven my point." Eddie sighed. "And I think you did the same as well."

"Yeah, shame I had to go that far to get the result I wanted."

"Are you okay?"

She looked up from the paperwork that she was quickly trying to complete at him. There was just something about Eddie that both equally filled her with joy and scared her. It was like as she was getting to know him better, he was getting to know her and would always comment when she wasn't in a good mood. He knew her without knowing her properly. He would know what she was thinking without her having to tell him.

"Just been a long day."

"There is more to it than that."

She sighed. "I… was warned that because we were going into a male prison then I… the catcalling and everything. Once I was used to it, maybe not so much now."

"What was said?"

"Something about putting a name to his fantasies. And it was one of the actors. Maybe it was just more the way that the boys laughed when he said it."

"We don't need to teach them how to treat women right as well."

"I don't think so."

"I hope not. I think I would end up strangling them."

Rachel tilted her head to one side. "I don't think you can do that."

"You get what I mean." He paused. "What do you mean though?"

"About?"

"Being used to the catcalling."

"That was… just a remark."

It wasn't and she did get used to the catcalling when all you used to do was have sex with men for money. It was like sometimes, the catcalling was better than the actual job that she used to do once upon a time. The short skirts and revealing tops. As much as she would like to say she wasn't, but she was asking for that sort of attention and even lived off of that attention.

"I can't imagine that you are any less attractive now than when you were younger," Eddie said before he caught himself. "I mean… you are an attractive woman… I can't make that any better can I?"

She laughed. "I'll take it."

Rachel could see the blush rising up on his cheeks and she could feel hers doing the same. So he found her attractive. It wasn't like she didn't find him attractive either. Actually, she thought that he was rather handsome and had a great personality. Her perfect man if she would let him in.

"Rachel…"

"Eddie, it's fine."

"I feel like I have really put my foot in it."

"Then would it help if I said that you are rather handsome."

He smiled. "Yes. No. I don't know."

"I haven't turned you into a teenager, have I?"

"Maybe a little."

"Mr Lawson, you don't have a schoolboy crush on me, do you?"

"Depends."

"On what?"

"Do you have a schoolgirl crush on me?"

She had no idea how the conversation had moved to this. The professional thing to do would be to say no, turn him down and his subtle advance. Personally, though, Rachel wanted to say yes. Her head or her heart. Which one was going to win out?

"Why does your answer depend on mine?" She said.

"I just… want to make sure that I have been reading how we were at the end of last term right. Maybe I don't want to say yes for you to say no. I… I get that you are a rather private person Rachel." He smiled at her. "So?"

"Would it be a bad thing if I had a little schoolgirl crush on you?"

"Only if it was for the short term."

"We… will have to see about that, won't we?"

"What do you mean?"

"I suppose… it will depend on how long your… schoolboy crush lasts."

"Rachel Mason, I don't think I would ever find someone like you again."

"Nor do I, Eddie Lawson."

They both ended up giggling as it turned slightly awkward between them. It wasn't a bad awkward but one where they were waiting for the other one to speak first. Rachel realised that it was probably up to her to say something.

"How about… we see how things go? See how this term goes?"

"Maybe I'll ask you out for a drink."

"That would be nice."

"We will have to see." He laughed again. "I'll… let you get on. See you tomorrow."

"See you tomorrow Eddie."

She placed her head in her hands after he left. Was it just a schoolgirl crush or an actual crush? Only time would tell.

* * *

The chat with Eddie had only helped to calm some of her fears. The prison trip had freaked her out a little because of what happened when she was 19. Not that Eddie or anyone else knew about that. It would take a lot of explaining on her part. Plus there was what Rob had said that hadn't filled her with the greatest of feelings.

But the thing that had been on her mind all day was her missing file. Why would someone take her file? Or did this have something to do with the fact that Tess showed up at the play at the end of term? Was her past coming back to haunt her?

That thought alone unnerved her and when she heard the rattling of the fence, it unnerved her even more.

No matter what Eddie had said to her earlier, she knew that if Tess being around meant that her past was coming back, his whole opinion of her would change and she didn't know whether she could cope with that happening. Not when they had just confessed that to each other.


	6. Series 3 Episode 12

_Thank you for the reviews._

_Back to the reoccurring theme here. I hope you enjoy this version._

_And honestly, I live for the first Reddie scene of this episode. Just the way that they are together is so cute._

* * *

**Series 3 Episode 12 **

"Why would he give Bolton the job?" Rachel asked after Bolton and Candice left her office.

"His indefinable spark? The suit?" Eddie paused for a moment. "Are you sure you are okay?"

The more he asked, the more Rachel wanted to tell him. The way that he looked at her made her think that her best option would be just to tell him. She wanted to ask for his advice but how could he advise her when he had no idea what was going on? He must have heard Stuart earlier when he called her Amanda.

"Eddie… I need to tell you something."

"Okay."

"I just don't know how to tell you."

"Okay?"

There was only one way that she could do it and she got the pieces of paper that Stuart had given her and gave them to Eddie. That was probably the best place to start. She walked to the window and waited for him to realise what she had given him before she turned back to him.

"I don't understand." He said.

"For the first 24 years of my life, I was called Amanda Fenshaw."

"I get that. Because this is what this says, I just don't understand why you are handing it to me."

"Because Stuart handed me that this morning."

"Okay?"

She sighed as she sat down on the sofa. She knew what she had to say but she had no idea how to say it.

"Stuart… knows something about me that I would rather not become public knowledge."

"What does he know?"

She hesitated. "I…" She shook her head. "Look, his bid was rejected and I have just got it reinstated because of what he knows about me." She paused and looked up at him. "Eddie, I am terrified. I… I just don't know what he wants from me or how far he is prepared to go."

"He is blackmailing you?"

"Yes."

"So this whole day? The reason you wanted him gone."

"Yes."

"Just tell me what he knows? I might be able to help."

She could feel her lips start to twitch. If there was any other way, she would wish that he would never find out about her past. But here he was, in front of her, asking about it. It was only fair that she was the one to tell him. His reaction might be worse if he found out by himself.

"He… He knows… I… He knows that… I… I… I was…" She shook her head and looked down into her lap. "He knows that I was a prostitute."

Rachel closed her eyes and allowed her hair to cover her face. She couldn't look at him. His face would be full of disgust and she couldn't bear to see that from him. She could feel the tears coming but she wouldn't allow them to fall.

"Rachel?" Eddie said softly.

She hadn't realised that he had moved to sit on the table to be opposite her. She somehow found the strength to look up at him and was still shocked to see the mixture of emotions playing out on his face, but one of them wasn't disgust. He wasn't disgusted by her.

"I was 17. Things were bad at home. Dad left when I was 5. Mum became ill when I was 14. I was thrown out of school with only doing my English and Geography exams. I… I didn't have much Eddie and someone had to keep the roof over our heads and food on the table. £1000 a week seemed like a good option, especially when I didn't know what it entailed when I accepted."

"How does Stuart know about this?"

"The woman at the end of term. She is his secretary. She… she used to be one as well. With me. Never really liked her."

"We've got to go to the police."

"Saying what? Do you not think I thought about that? Even picked up the phone to call them? It is going to be his word against mine. And I would have to explain what he knows. I… I don't really want to be reliving that part of my life again. Especially when I was starting to let it go. Starting to believe that it would never come up again." She paused. "I suppose there is really only one thing that I could do."

"What's that?"

"Resign. Before Stuart comes demanding all sorts off me. I… Personally, I can't have this coming out. Professionally, I can drag the school through another… controversy. First Jack with the budget and then his replacement is an ex-prostitute. The school's name cannot be dragged through the mud again."

"After all your hard work in the… Seven weeks you've been here?"

"Eddie, think about it."

"Maybe I just didn't have you down as a quitter."

"Maybe I am just being a realist and knowing that there will never be a good outcome over this. Either I do exactly what Stuart wants of me in the hope that it keeps him quiet or it comes out. I… I don't want him to have that power of me. It just… I didn't like it the first time around. I'm definitely not going to like it the second time."

"This has really shaken you."

"Why wouldn't it?" She said as she stood up. "I made the worst decision ever at aged 17 and I was 19 when the police raided the bar where I worked. I had to change my name and create a new life for myself. This… I have worked so hard for the 20 years to put this behind me and he… Stuart could bring that all crashing down."

The tears started to fall and she wiped them away while trying to stop any more from falling. She didn't like being this emotional. It would be okay if she thought her and Eddie were closer but they had spent part of their day talking about Alison. They weren't going to be that close. Definitely not now.

"I don't think you are thinking rationally at the moment," Eddie said as he stood up to face her. "I think you are in shock and we should discuss this properly tomorrow when you are thinking a little more clearly."

"Eddie…"

"Rachel… I get it. But I also need the time to process this. You have just told me… that in your late teens you were… a prostitute. I'm… trying to wrap my head around it all. So why don't I take you for a drink and we can talk about everything but Stuart Hordley and everything that relates to what you just told me? Then we can discuss this again tomorrow."

"Why are you being so understanding?"

"What?"

"You're meant to be angry. Disgusted. You're… not meant to be offering to buy me a drink and saying that we will discuss it tomorrow."

"Maybe. But me behaving like a prat isn't going to help anyone. And maybe it is best if I kept my opinions to myself for the moment and then try and work through whatever prejudice I have over it."

"I was right. You have got a heart of gold."

"Shall we go? Before Hordley potentially comes back and asks something off of you."

"Good plan."

Did she feel any better about herself? Definitely not.

Did she feel any better about the situation Stuart had put her in? Slightly.

Did she regret telling Eddie? Definitely not.

It was weird that she had parted with her biggest secret and although nothing was good, it was the only thing that she didn't regret doing. Maybe that was just her feeling comfortable with Eddie or it was just him himself that had done that.

Either way, she felt like she would be glad that Eddie knew from the beginning about it. Maybe things wouldn't get to being so bad with him by her side.


	7. Series 3 Episode 13

_Thank you for the reviews._

_And yes, Mrs Carmicheal, it was fun thinking these up... especially when each one is a little different... Like take this one as an example. Because I could see Stuart doing this._

* * *

**Series 3 Episode 13**

Rachel was glad that she had managed to get back to the place where the LEA meeting was being held before she threw up. She had hardly eaten anything all day, basically eating nothing of the meal that Stuart had brought for her. She couldn't. It made her feel sick to think about what he was asking her to do.

The only good part of her day so far had been her little conversation with Eddie that morning. The looks that they gave each other while Steph was talking about her trip to France was her favourite part. She had been trying to keep in her laughter but Eddie always seemed to say the right thing that would make her laugh.

She tried to focus on that to try and get her stomach to settle. Thinking about Eddie was better than thinking about Stuart and it helped to calm her racing thoughts down.

She looked at her watch, noting that there wasn't much time left before she would have to be back in the boardroom, probably not looking best if she was late again. Not that she wanted to be there. She didn't know whether she wanted Hordley to win the bid or not.

* * *

"Your secret is safe with me," Stuart said.

"What secret?"

Rachel had thought Eddie had gone but there he was, standing in the doorway. She wondered how much he had heard.

"Eddie." She said before looking between him and Stuart.

"Am I not allowed to know or something?"

"I thought you would have at least told him," Stuart said.

She wished that she did. She wished that she had the courage to tell Eddie. He was the only one that she felt deserved to know about her awful past.

"I think you should go, Stuart." She said.

"And miss his reaction to it. I don't think so. That is even if you tell him."

She knew that she couldn't stare Stuart down. The same stare that would stop people in their tracks didn't work on him. There was really only one thing that she could do. She had to tell Eddie, preferable before Stuart did.

"Eddie, you… you have to understand that this was all a very long time ago. That the person I am now is a totally different person to who I was when I was 17."

"Just tell him."

"Shut up." She glared at Stuart before turning her attention back to Eddie. "I… I… Eddie."

"She was a prostitute."

If it was for her reaction of Stuart blurting it out, she could have probably laughed it off or Eddie would have questioned it further. But she could feel the bile rising in her and the fact that her breathing had become slightly more erratic, showed that he was telling the truth.

"I am sorry, what?" Eddie said.

"Your fine, upstanding super head used to make a living lying on her back."

"Stuart, shut up." She shouted. "Eddie, allow me to explain."

"So you aren't denying it?" Eddie said.

"I wasn't really in a position to turn it down. You lot all think that I have had the same opportunities as you, more even, but I haven't. If anything, I was no better off than half the kids in this school. We were at risk of being homeless and Mum was ill and it was up to me to step up. And I hate myself for doing it. I hate myself for making that choice. And I hate what I have done today just as much."

"Why? What have you done today?"

"She won me the contract," Stuart said.

"I think you need to shut up."

"Because I threaten to walk and have signed away Waterloo Road's contingency fund for the next five years. So if anything happens to this place while the new building is being built, we will have no money from the LEA to fix anything." Rachel said.

"You what? For him?"

"Of course for me. I knew Amanda could do it."

"What part of shut up don't you understand?" Eddie said as he turned to Stuart. "And what even are you still doing here? Do you really believe that your secret is safe with him if he happily tells me about it?"

"Because we have an understanding. Don't we Rachel?"

Her eyes flicked between the two men before landing on Eddie.

"I should have told you last week." She whispered. "I should have told you after he started blackmailing me. We have an understanding because this… what I did in my past will not only ruin me but this school's reputation even further. One head fiddling with the books while the other one is an ex-prostitute. No one in their right mind would touch this school."

"Are you interested in the school's reputation or your own career?" Eddie said.

"I didn't gain my reputation because I picked the easy schools. I pick the hard schools because I don't want anyone else to make the same mistakes that I made. To be forced into the situations that I was. I only got out of that life because of the police raids and the fact that I cooperated with the police. I was given a chance to start over and I took that with both hands."

"So you are only interested in your own career."

"It's not like that Eddie."

"Then what is it like?"

She had come up with an excuse. Why she was looking out for the school rather than herself. But in Eddie's gaze, she couldn't bring herself to say it. Eddie grew bored of her silence and huffed before he left her office.

"Whoops," Stuart said.

"I think Eddie was right. What the hell are you still doing here?" Rachel said before she made her way after Eddie.

She shouted his name and ran down the stairs as quickly as she could, trying to catch her deputy up. She wished that she was the one to tell him. It might have made this all easier. She managed to catch up with him before he got into his car. She stopped him from closing the door on her.

"Rachel."

"Eddie, give me the chance to explain properly."

"Explain what properly? You were a prostitute. Don't really think that is the sort of person the parents would want in charge of the school?"

"I know. I know that Eddie. It is why I moved away. It is why I have spent every day of the last 20 years trying to make up for it. It is why I believe that Pastoral Care is so damn important and why the head needs to listen to their pupils rather than write them off. It is why students at risk of exclusion are a high priority for me. I… I don't want anyone else to think that they won't succeed. I don't want them leaving with just two GCSEs and then thrown out into the world. Because either they do anything to have an income or they just live on the dole. I was the do anything to have an income. I've worked bloody hard to get where I am. But it is why I won't give up on a pupil. Because everyone, in the end, gave up on me. And they still do. They give up on me because they never know that when you hit rock bottom the only way is up."

"But…"

"But what?"

"You were a prostitute."

She found herself laughing. "Is that what you can't get over at the moment?"

"I just…" He finally looked at her. "You. It's not what I would have expected from you. You hold yourself up high. You… Just doesn't make any sense."

"It… It has taken me a while to find my own self-worth." She paused. "I need you, Eddie. More than I thought I would ever need you. You knowing… isn't ideal but you know now. I can't change that. Stuart… I don't know whether he is going to stop now."

"He has the contract."

"But is that going to stop him using this against me?"

"It doesn't seem like it."

"So can we talk this out? Can we still work together and be friends?" She said, "I get… that your whole opinion on me has changed. Just stick with me. Please."

Eddie didn't say anything for the moment.

"I could really do with a drink. Meet you at the pub?" He said.

She smiled at him. "Sure. I will be with you in a minute."

Maybe going to the pub, with Eddie, after barely eating anything all day, wasn't the best idea in the world but she hoped that it meant that they could talk things through. That is all she wanted at the moment. That chance to talk.


	8. Series 3 Episode 14

_Thank you for the reviews._

_This one is set after the episode... And I don't really know why it ended up the way it did, but hey, I don't think any of you will be complaining. Plus this is all from Eddie's POV._

* * *

**Series 3 Episode 14**

"How was your date with Stuart?" Eddie asked.

He knew why he was so happy when she groaned. He didn't particularly like the fact that she went out with Stuart for dinner and if he hadn't already made plans with Jasmine, he might have gone. He was teasing her when he said about Stuart having a thing for her and he was glad that she cut him off when he tried to insinuate she had a thing for Stuart. He was glad she didn't, because he had a thing for her and all of her secret meetings with Stuart were starting to annoy him.

"Let's just say that it was a dinner I don't want to repeat any time soon."

"That good then."

"What did you have to run off to?"

He smiled. She obviously wanted him there.

"I took Jasmine for a drink. She needed it after what happened yesterday."

"You're rather protective of her, aren't you?" She said, sounding a little jealous.

"Some people here have taken the mick. She was totally right about Paul and it makes me think that she is completely right about yesterday."

"Eddie, I do believe her when she said that she didn't hit Michaela. I just have to do anything by the book. It is to protect her as well."

"I still think we can make them crack."

"Right, that's it. You are not allowed anywhere near Michaela or her little gang."

"What?"

"I can't be put into a situation where I will have to suspend you as well. Especially when you are the only thing keeping me sane at the moment."

"I… keep you sane."

"Just don't."

"You're the one that said it."

"And if you tell anyone, I will deny it straight away."

"Why are you being so defensive?"

She sighed as she sat down in her chair. "I'm not."

"You are."

"Just take the hint, Eddie."

"You haven't been the same for a good few weeks now. Come on, just tell me what is wrong."

"The building process. I thought that we just picked who we liked, tried to get them the bid and then they would just build it. Hordley seems to be trying to make this as difficult as possible."

"Bearing in mind how you were after the LEA meeting about it, I don't think you want to go through that process again."

"No, I don't."

Before Eddie could say anything else, the bell rang, signalling the start of the school day. He gave her a small smile before he left for his first class of the day.

* * *

"Rachel, it is just a drink."

"And I went out last night. I have got paperwork to catch up on because of the whole Jasmine/Michaela situation."

"And you look like you could do with a drink."

She sighed and Eddie hoped that it meant that he was going to get his way. He wanted to talk to her. He wanted to find out what had been going on. Not that he was certain whether he wanted to know the truth or not.

"I just want to talk, Rach."

He always noticed the way her mouth would start to curl up when he called her Rach. He was all for shortening people's names. He went by Eddie rather than Edward. He had noticed that no one else called her Rach and he wondered whether, to her, it was his thing.

"Fine. But can we go back to mine rather than going to the pub? I just want to be at home."

"That's fine by me. I'll follow you?"

She nodded at him before she got the rest of her things together.

He was glad that she had agreed. Now he had to get her to open up to him. That might not be so easy.

* * *

Eddie slipped off his shoes as she did. He allowed her to walk off while he quickly peered into the living room. He didn't really know what he was expecting. Everything was clean and tidy, not quite like his living room. He eventually followed her into the kitchen where she had opened a bottle of wine and had poured two glasses and already drunk half of one.

"I know you are a beer drinker, but I don't have any." She said.

"Wine is fine. Are you sure you are okay?" He said, nodding towards her glass.

"I'm fine Eddie."

"Rachel, when are you going to let me in?"

"What do you mean?"

"You have been in a weird mood since the morning that Stuart showed up. What is wrong?"

"I said earlier…"

"The building process. I know." He said as he interrupted her. "I don't believe you."

"Well, you are going to have to."

"There you go again, being so defensive."

"I am not being defensive."

"I don't believe you."

Eddie couldn't remember moving but somehow he found himself only inches from her, looking down into her eyes. They never failed to show what she was feeling. Part of him thought that they were showing him that she was scared but he couldn't think of why she would be scared. He watched them change as she placed her drink down. His was definitely forgotten about. He could see the same person that told him that he had a heart of gold or was thankful for his support in trying to get Waterloo Road business college status. Something was happening between them and he had no idea whether he should take the leap or not.

He closed the distance a little more and was slightly grateful that she didn't take a step back to create some space. Maybe this was something that she wanted as well. He tilted his head as he leant forward and kissed her. He had no idea how they had gone from having a small argument about how she was feeling to kissing her but that was where they were.

When she didn't respond, he felt like he had read the situation wrong. As he pulled back, ready to apologise, she wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him back towards her to kiss him. His hand automatically landed on her waist as he backed her up to the counter. He made sure there was enough room that the counter wasn't digging into her back but keeping the distance between them to a minimum.

Rachel broke the kiss and nudged his nose with hers.

"We shouldn't do this." She said before she kissed him again.

His hands ran down her sides and landed on her hips to pick her up and sit her onto the counter, making her more his height. She allowed him to stand in between her legs and he never felt more confused in his life.

"Are you sure Miss Mason?"

He could hear her breath hitch as he started to kiss down her jaw and neck.

"Hmm… this is a really bad idea."

"Then tell me to stop." He said as he pulled back.

He could see the conflict in her eyes but somehow it looked like it was in his favour as she kissed him again.

* * *

When Rachel said it was a bad idea, Eddie did almost agree with her. But lying in Rachel's bed, with her back against his chest with their left hands intertwined, he couldn't think of anything more perfect. He hadn't felt this way Alison and it had been building between them. Maybe he just didn't expect them to be at this stage already.

"Eddie."

"Yes."

"I think I need to tell you something."

"Only if you want to."

"It… It just… it relates to why I have been in a weird mood recently."

"So you admit you have been in a weird mood."

"I just don't know how to tell you. I've… been trying to find the words for a good couple of weeks."

"Then just tell me bluntly."

"I don't think you would like it. I think it would change your whole opinion of me."

"Nothing you say could change my opinion of you."

"Are you sure?"

"Sure. Like how bad can it be? Have you murdered someone or something?"

"I was a prostitute."

His mind was filled with thoughts. Mainly ones about crossing things off his mental list of things that he thought might be wrong with Rachel. Her, being an ex-prostitute wasn't one of them and as time went on, Eddie just willed himself to say something, feeling Rachel's discomfort in his silence.

If anything, it was just the shock of what she had said. It wasn't something that he expected from her. But it made sense as to why she didn't really like to open up about her childhood. There must have been a series of events for her to make that choice. Unless the choice was made for her. He didn't want to think like that. He had to give her the chance to explain,

"Right."

"Right?"

"I'm still processing at the moment."

"It was a long time ago Eddie."

"Okay. So why is that behind your weird mood?"

Her silence did more than any words could. It might have been a long time ago but someone saw it fit to bring it back up.

"Stuart hasn't been blackmailing you, has he?" Eddie asked.

"He… wanted me to get his bid reinstated and then he wanted me to win the bid for him. Whatever way I could. Eddie… I felt awful in that LEA meeting. I threatened to walk. I… knew that George wanted the Ladmore bid because he was mates with them. I… I've even given up Waterloo Road's congentceny fund for the next five years all because… All because I can't allow this to get out. I've worked too hard for this to get out."

"So your 'date' with Stuart. What was that all about?"

"He… wanted to explain why he did what he did. I… don't know how much longer I can do this for."

"The git."

"Eddie. What do I do?"

He knew that she had totally let down her guard and as she sat up and turned to him, he could see the same scared look in her eyes. This is the thing that was scaring her. The fact that this massive secret could get out and ruin her and the school's reputation. He found himself tucking part of her hair behind her ear before he said anything.

"Leave it with me. I'll sort it."

"It isn't your mess to sort."

"It is now. It is our problem. We've got to sort it together."

He could see the relief and he knew that she didn't regret telling him. He just wished that she had told him sooner, rather than letting it build up. Their relationship had taken a step forward in many directions and any questions or concerns Eddie had regarding what she had just told him had to be sorted out and soon. Rachel needed him and he wasn't about to let her down.


	9. Series 3 Episode 15

_Thank you for the reviews._

_And I obviously had to start this with the most iconic line ever. I don't make the rules here._

* * *

**Series 3 Episode 15**

"What did knob the builder want?"

Eddie could see the smile threatening to break out on Rachel's face but it didn't and she looked away, trying to avoid answering his question. He knew that there was something going on between her and Stuart. He wished that he could say that it was just to do with the building work but with the fact that Stuart took Rachel out for dinner last week, he wasn't so certain. Part of him hoped it was just one-sided. That she wasn't interested in him.

"Well, it was more than just delivering something." He said as he walked further into the room.

"As you ask… a date, and I said no. Happy?"

_Extremely. _Eddie thought. "What was he delivering?"

"What is this? 20 questions?"

"Just wondering that's all. No need to get so defensive."

"They are plans."

"To do with what? The building?"

"Yes."

"Then why did you quickly slip it into your drawer when I came in?"

"Look we have a governors meeting to attend."

"It isn't until half five. The bell has only just gone for the day."

"Eddie."

He thought about changing the subject to what he actually wanted her for but she had been in a weird mood for practically the whole term. Something was unsettling her and the more he thought about it, the more he thought it had something to do with Stuart.

Although what he had in his hand would be a good distraction.

"I've got something. Some evidence from the school council." He said as he handed over the papers he had in his hands.

As Rachel started to look through them, he made his way around her desk slightly, hoping to get the file out of the drawer before she realised what he was doing. He rested his finger on the corner of the drawer for a couple of moments before he pulled it open and grabbed the file. She wasn't quick enough to stop him but she was quick to go on the defensive again.

"Eddie, give me the file." She said as she stood up.

"Why can't I have a look at these plans?"

"Eddie, just give it back."

"What are you hiding?"

"Eddie. Please."

He didn't expect the scared look on her face. For someone that always seemed in control of any situation, she wasn't really portraying that. It was the only reason that he gave it back to her. He was certain that whatever it contained, it had something to do with her mood.

"Then tell me. Because you can't just shrug it off as nothing now."

"Eddie…"

"Don't lie to me. Because you are not fine and nothing seems like it is okay and I have this massive feeling that Stuart is in the middle of it all. I… I just can't work out what it might be."

"He knows." She eventually said after a few moments of silence.

He blinked at her a couple of times. "He knows what?"

"I… I did something really stupid in my late teens."

"What?"

"Eddie."

"Tell me and we can work it out together."

"I can't."

"Why not?"

"It's not like I don't want to. I've… I've almost told you so many times."

"Then just tell me."

"I don't want to ruin what we have."

"Why would it ruin what we have?" He paused. "What do we have?"

He watched her as she licked her lips before taking a shaky breath. This wasn't the same woman who had come storming in on her first day and changed the whole curriculum.

"Okay then. How can I help?" He said.

"I don't think you can."

"I've got to be able to do something Rachel. You can't tell me and… I can tell it is scaring you."

She closed her eyes. "I was a prostitute."

He waited for her to open her eyes before he said anything. He could tell that she felt a small amount of relief from telling him but the fear of his reaction was her next worry.

"Sorry, what?"

"I'm not repeating it, Eddie."

"Late teens?"

"17 when I started."

"Isn't that illegal?"

"The whole thing was illegal."

"Yeah. Sorry."

"Trying to wrap your head around it?"

He found himself nodding slowly and he was surprised when she handed him back the file. He stared at it for a few moments before he took and slid it out of the envelope. It was all there. Newspaper cuttings, even with one with her face on it.

"So why has he given this to you?"

"He said he would. He wants to start over because he feels bad about what he did."

"He blackmailed you."

She sighed as she fell back into her chair. "I… don't know what to do Eddie."

He placed the file back in the envelope before he placed it back on her desk. He grabbed one of the chairs from around the table and placed it in front of her before he sat down.

"Police?"

"It will be my word against his."

"I suppose reporting it to the LEA isn't an option either."

"God no. Not after the meeting about the whole bloody build. Stuart wanted me to win the bid for him and… It felt awful when I threatened to walk and… gave up the bloody contingency fund for the next five years and. Eddie, it is just a mess and there is no way that… I've done this. First Jack with the money and now this."

"Do you think he will keep using it against you?"

"I hope he has drawn a line in the sand."

He found himself shaking his head. "Just…"

"It's why I couldn't tell you. I… Only one other person has found out and they hated me for it. Your… It has changed what you think about me. We work well together Eddie. Yeah, there are some days where you drive me mad. Like this." She said as she held up the school council report he had given her. "But you have the biggest heart and… Somehow you just know me. I know it might not feel like it at the moment, but you do. You somehow know me better than anyone else that I have ever met before and… sometimes that scares me. It makes me want to let you in but at the same time, my life is just one massive mess. You don't need to be dragged into that mess."

"What if I want to now?" He smiled at her. "Shall we go and get this governors meeting out of the way and then we can talk later about it. Maybe… it will give me time to think it all over."

"Is there much to think over?"

"Believe me, I am doing quite a bit of thinking right now."

"You feel like you don't know me."

"It is why I need to think about it. I… I don't want to give you the wrong… Reaction."

"See. Heart of gold."

She was right when she said that his opinion of her had changed but Eddie knew that it couldn't have been easy to tell him. And if he was being truthful, he was struggling to work out whether his anger was to do with her past or what Stuart was doing to her. He knew he would work it out eventually. Just, did it change his feelings about her?


	10. Series 3 Episode 16

_Thank you for the reviews._

_I suppose, even with this episode, we are still trying to find a better way for Eddie to take the news that Rachel was an ex-prostitute. I meant this chapter isn't all great but it is better._

_Just an update on my real life. Not having to self-isolate at the moment and I am not working from home (which is probably best for me because I get distracted easily). But it seems like the karate aspect of my life is going to stop. Therefore, for those of you who like it, there will be no more early morning Tuesday postings for the time being. Just because I won't be out of the house for like 11 hours. _

_With the Coronavirus, keep yourselves safe and make sure you are trying to keep others safe as well. _

* * *

**Series 3 Episode 16**

"It will get out Rachel. It always does. Imagine the headlines."

"Can't we just focus on the here and the now?" She said, feeling herself breaking down in front of him.

This is why she should have told him. This is why she should have taken that bloody file home. This is why she should have done everything in her power to get rid of Stuart Hordley and not bend to his will.

But she hadn't told him. She hadn't taken the file home, and she had concluded that it was the way he found out. And she had done everything that Stuart had asked her to do.

His reaction was always going to be the worst. Because she had come to a point when she was ready to let him in, ready to allow their relationship to continue to grow.

"Oh, for God sake!" Eddie said as he sat back in his chair. "If Stuart Hordley's secretary knows, how long before everybody knows?"

"Why does that bother you?"

There was a small pause where he stared at her before he looked down at his desk and he picked up his pen.

"I'm worried about the potential damage to this school."

"I don't think it is just that."

"Sorry?" He said as he looked back at her.

"I want to take a wild stab in the dark and say that the same reason why it is bothering you so much is the same reason why I didn't want to tell you. You say you don't know me. Eddie. It is honestly the thing that scares me the most. How well you do know me. Because you do. I am worried about what it will do to the school. I… I should have told you."

"And you think my reaction would be any different."

"I can live in hope."

"I don't know you, Rachel."

"You don't know the person I was." She paused. "I sort of expected better from you. I expected this narrowmindedness from Steph and Grantly, but I didn't think that you thought I grew up with a silver spoon in my mouth. I have worked so damn hard to get where I am to stop others from going down the path I went down."

"So you are worried about your career."

"Maybe I am. Maybe because I know that this is the best place for me to be. Because I didn't have a headteacher that believed me in. I had one that threw me out when I was accused of cheating during my exams without asking me for an explanation. I had nothing, Eddie. Literally nothing. I had my mum and my sister to look after and that was what I tried to do."

"By being a prostitute?"

"You make it seem like I liked what I did. Like I wanted to do it. I didn't know what was being asked of me at the time."

"And that makes it any better."

"I'm trying to explain."

"Have you thought that you might be wasting your breath?"

She had seen the disgust in his face but she thought that once she explained, he might understand. But he wasn't going to and it hurt her more than the other time someone else found out. At least she wasn't debating with herself about letting the other guy in. She, at least, cared about Eddie and she thought that it was the reason why he was so bothered by what she had done.

"I just thought you cared for me a little more than that. I guess I don't know you as well as I thought."

She couldn't take his look any longer. She had to get out of there, before she properly broke down in front of him.

* * *

Eddie was trying to come up with the right words to say that he had been an idiot and a prat. He hated that he had to admit that she was right. The reason it bothered him wasn't because of the reputation of the school. It was because he cared more about her than he wanted to admit at the moment.

She was obviously shocked that he knew but he felt like she hadn't really explained herself. So things were bad at home and she had been kicked out of school. He wasn't born with a silver spoon but he had still managed to get to where he was without having a life of crime.

There was a part of him that wanted to know more and there was a part of him that was ready to apologise for being an awkward sod.

He knew which side of him was winning and as he got out of his chair and made the short distance from his classroom to Rachel's office. He knew he had quite a bit of making up to do. He closed the door behind him and grabbed one of the chairs around the table and placed it in front of her. She hadn't said a word but she looked shocked to see him there.

"Right. Maybe I shouldn't have looked at that file." He said.

"You think?"

"But that isn't going to make this go away."

"No, it isn't."

"Why?"

"Why what?"

"Why now? What we are only a few weeks away from the end of the school year and term. If this was just about your past, someone would have come forward with it the moment that they saw your face in the paper."

"I mean, you're the maths teacher. I am sure if you add it all up you will get the right answer."

"I might just want you to confirm it for me."

"What? That Stuart has been blackmailing me. That… he made me do things that were like what he has done to me. That I have bit my tongue every time someone has said something good about him."

"Maybe not quite like that but it will do."

"I hate myself for what I did. I don't need you hating me for it as well."

"So does this mean that he has finished? Blackmailing you?"

"I… I think so."

"So the file?"

"He said he would give me what Tess had on me. As a way of making up for what he did."

"He isn't going to stop."

"Please Eddie."

"No Rachel. He knows he has you. That file… That file was to make you think that it was all over but it probably is far from it. Do you really trust that if it goes wrong for him, that you aren't the first person that he takes it out on?"

"Eddie, you aren't making a lot of sense."

"Do you trust Stuart with your secret?"

"Not particularly but there isn't much I can do about that now, can I?"

"I suppose not."

"Look, Eddie. I don't need you steamrolling in. I am dealing with it."

"Are you?"

"Yes. In my own way." She paused as she leant back in her chair. "You've changed your tune."

"Well… maybe you were right."

"I'm sorry?"

"Don't... make me repeat myself."

"Why not?"

"Okay. You were right. Maybe there is more to my… attitude than the reputation of the school."

Eddie didn't really understand why she smiled at that moment. It wasn't like everything was okay between them. Just that there was more at play than the school and the students and even her career. It had changed his view on her. It was why he couldn't get his head around it all. He couldn't really picture her doing that.

"Maybe I should have been a little more honest with you. You've been asking me for weeks whether I am okay and everything. All it took me to do was to say that I wasn't and told you why."

"I… I still don't think my reaction would have been much different."

"Amanda isn't me. At best, the whole thing told me what I didn't want. I didn't want to be used like that. I certainly didn't want to do that for the rest of my life. Just before the raids, I was trying to help the younger girls out, trying to save them from what I had been sucked into. I think I knew then that I was best placed where I could help the next generation and for me, that route was teaching."

"I still think it will get out."

"I know." She whispered. "A stupid mistake I made 20 years ago. I love it here Eddie. And whether I resign or am forced to leave, I don't want to leave."

"So what are we going to do about it?"

She bit her lip, probably to stop herself from smiling but a smile still broke out. He didn't know whether he was totally comfortable with the idea but it was something that he might just have to come accustomed to. She seemed slightly relieved that he knew. And maybe, together, they could get Stuart off her back.


	11. Series 3 Episode 17

_Thank you for the reviews._

_You know what the problem with the second half of series 3 is... most of Rachel and Eddie's problems could have been solved if they just talked more and were more honest with each other... Do you agree?_

* * *

**Series 3 Episode 17**

Eddie knew what Rachel was doing and he was trying to not show her that it was affecting him so much. But he was doing an awful job at it and he knew that she knew it was annoying him. It was something that annoyed him even more.

"So stay."

The offer was attractive and he had worked his way through the things that she had done in her past. The only thing that he couldn't get over now was what Stuart had done. He didn't want to say that it was because he felt something for Rachel but he did and it was something more than just their good working relationship. She had become his friend and there was a part of him that wanted a little more than that.

"Okay." He said before taking a moment. "But Hordley's got to go."

He knew that she wouldn't like that. He had to give it to Stuart. He had properly scared the second scariest woman that he knew. He thought nothing could phase Rachel. He was obviously wrong.

"It's the only way we can work together, Rachel. You've got to call his bluff."

"It's not a bluff."

"How certain are you about that?"

"You're right. He would stoop very low to get what he wants. I don't want to push him. It's the only reason he won the bloody bid." She paused. "I… I don't want him anywhere near the school. I don't want him contacting me. I don't want him to be building the new building. But I can't change the past."

"No, you can't."

"I… I can't go back to the LEA after everything I said in that meeting."

"Why?"

"I threatened to walk. I… I did everything to back Hordley's bid and then I go and tell them that there is something wrong with the Hordley bid. My… It is my reputation that is on the line here. And I know that it seems like I am looking out for my own career but have you really thought about it. The LEA have been trying to find a reason to close this place down for the last couple of years. I was brought in because I have turned around a school like this before. What if it gets out that I was a prostitute and they decide that it is a good enough reason to close down the school? The parents and the governors won't be happy. This isn't as black and white as you make it out to be."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"What part?"

"That you threaten to walk."

"Because you didn't know and then you didn't want to know. You weren't really in the mood for talking last week." She sighed. "And I hope nothing bad happens to this place because Waterloo Road's contingency fund for the next five years is gone."

"Rachel… He wouldn't give all this up for you. We have to do something or he will constantly hang this over you."

"We?"

"Yes."

"So you are staying?"

He sighed, knowing that he had made his mind up once he had worked out what she was doing and how angry it was making it. Or maybe it was just because he was realising that there were bigger things than him not accepting what she had done. It was easy for him to try and explain how she could have done things differently in her youth but he didn't know the full story. He didn't know the exact reasons as to why she thought that the offer of a thousand pounds a week was a good offer. He didn't think that he would find out. It was clear that it wasn't something that Rachel wanted to discuss.

"I… I don't want to leave Waterloo Road."

"I don't want you to either."

"Just… I can't stand what Stuart is doing. I can't stand that he does seem to have… this hold over you."

"I don't enjoy it. Reminds me too much of… Stuart does creep me out."

"We need something on him. Something to use against him."

"And make us as bad as him?"

"Rachel, you can't think like that. He would ruin you without a second thought because things weren't going his way. We just need something on him so that we can just say that if he decides that he wants to use your past against you, then we have something equally damaging on him."

"I… I don't know Eddie."

"Let me look into it. Let me do this for you. It isn't like I have been overly… supportive since I found out, have I?"

"It will still all come back to me." She paused. "Eddie, I know you are trying to help but… I am dealing with it."

"By ignoring it and hoping it will go away?"

"Eddie…"

"That's what it looks like you are doing from my perspective."

"And it is my mess."

"Which I am involved in now. Just let me help."

He could tell that she wanted to argue with him again. To say that he didn't need to help or get involved. The problem Eddie had was that he did want to get involved. He had worked out that he cared for Rachel a lot and helping her out was him starting to make up for the fact that he had acted like an idiot. He didn't want to leave Waterloo Road because it meant leaving her behind, although some people would probably argue that would be a good thing. He wouldn't then be involved in her mess or have to deal with what he had done in her youth.

"Okay then. Just as long as you stay."

"I'll stay."

"Good."

"Feels like you want to say more."

"Just… I enjoy working with you, Eddie. We have our disagreements but I wouldn't like someone who just agreed with me all the time. Plus… Somehow… You know me. I know you said last week that you didn't. You don't know the person that I was. But on a deeper level, you know me so well. And I don't know how you do it. It's… Sometimes it is like you know exactly what I am thinking."

"You do it to me as well. It's… It's why I told you about Micheal and Stephen."

"I just thought that was because you thought that I wouldn't leave it alone."

"Well you didn't, did you?"

"No, I didn't. But you now have Micheal in your life."

"When Alison allows me."

"Better than nothing."

"You sorted my problem. So let me sort yours."

"Yours wasn't as messy as mine."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes." She took a sip of her drink. "But… I suppose, as you know, as long as you let me know what you are going to do, that having you onboard wouldn't be a bad thing."

"Sure?"

"Well I don't think you are about to let the idea go so, before you do something stupid, I'll let you help. But I want to be clued in. Just so if it does all backfire, I at least know what has been going on."

"Rach, I won't do anything without your say so."

He didn't think that she was totally convinced but he did understand. This was her biggest secret and job on the line. She might not have trusted him with it when Stuart first arrived but she was trusting him with it now. He knew he couldn't let her down.


	12. Series 3 Episode 18

_Thank you for the reviews._

_Now the scene that the beginning part is set in, only cut where it did because if it didn't, something like this would have happened, don't you agree?_

_And this is the chapter that I spoke about on Twitter... the one where I put a certain comment like a series earlier..._

* * *

**Series 3 Episode 18**

"You think it's a good idea having her run this place, do you?" Stuart asked Eddie, turning his back on Rachel.

"Yeah, I do, actually."

"I bet you love working for a two-bit hooker, don't you? I bet she gives it to you for free."

Rachel knew that the only reason Stuart had moved around Eddie was to gauge her reaction. Of course, she was uncomfortable with what he had just said but it was how Eddie reacted that made her feel like he was over what she had done. The scoff was the start of it and she would be lying to herself if she didn't say her favourite thing that Eddie had done for her was to punch Stuart. The way he stumbled back showed that it even surprised Stuart. She didn't really expect it from her heart-of-gold maths teacher. She stood up out of her chair, not really knowing why.

"If you wouldn't mind pissing off, Hordley. You're starting to irritate us now." Eddie said.

She would have thought the relief was clear on her face as Stuart looked between them before he turned and left. A thousand thoughts flowed around her mind but as Eddie turned around to her, there was only one thought present.

_I am glad I fell in love with Eddie Lawson._

"I didn't expect that to happen." He said.

She knew that she should say something but nothing came out of her mouth. Instead of trying to find the words to show her gratitude, she walked around her desk and, within moments, had her hand either side of his face while she was kissing him. She started to think that she had read Eddie wrong when he didn't respond at first. She thought that he was so bothered about her past because he felt something more for her.

She found herself relaxing into his arms as he wrapped them around her waist and started kissing her back. Her hands moved around his head to be in his hair, trying to help keep the distance between them as minimal as possible. She felt like she could never have too much of him. Everything felt perfect and it was a relief that it felt like everything that had happened since Stuart had walked into her office was over. She finally had control back and it was because of this man.

Rachel could stop herself from giggling when they finally pulled back and they rested their foreheads together. One of her hands slid down from his hair and rested on his chest.

"I wish I could say that was unexpected." He said.

"But it has been building." She said, lifting her head up to look at him properly.

"I suppose it has."

"Thank you, Eddie."

"There is no need to thank me."

"Are you sure?"

"Although, if that kiss is your way of showing thanks, I wouldn't mind a repeat."

"Thought you might." She said before she kissed him again.

* * *

Eddie placed down their drinks before he dropped in the seat next to her. It was obvious that they had a lot to talk about. Mainly about their relationship.

"I think I was right." Rachel said.

"About what?"

"Why my past bothered you so much? And you can hide behind the school all you like. It changed your opinion of me."

"And like I said earlier, I was a prat." He cleared his throat. "So… us?"

Eddie liked the way she smiled when he said us. It meant that this wasn't a one-time thing. It meant that she wasn't going to shut him out as she had tried to do many times over the last couple of months. It meant that the kiss that they shared earlier meant as much to her as it did to him. It meant that the kiss wasn't an in-the-moment decision. It meant that she had felt what was between them.

"I would love to sit here and say that I would like to see where it goes." She said.

"But?"

"But, I want you, Eddie. Like I have never wanted anyone else before. Honestly, you are the best thing that has ever happened to me."

"Likewise."

"And for some reason, I just want to jump headfirst in with you. Just without the staff knowing."

"What like secret holding your hand in the playground sort of thing?"

"Do you want to hold my hand in the playground Mr Lawson?"

"Maybe… I do Miss Mason."

Her eyes flicked between his and his lips and he knew that they should probably finish their drinks as quickly as they could. He didn't want to push her but it just seemed like everything was heading in one direction. Their friendship was definitely going to be something more after tonight.

"Mine is closer than yours, isn't it?" She said.

* * *

There was something weirdly right about her back being against Eddie's chest as his arms were wrapped around her waist, but with their left hands intertwined, relishing in their afterglow. Rachel could have started giggling again. She couldn't remember the last time she felt this happy.

"Is your hand okay?" She said as she saw his red knuckles.

"It's fine. Might be a little sore in the morning."

"I don't actually think I could ever thank you enough for what you've done for me today."

"I think you already have done. With Michael. Because I would never be able to thank you enough for that."

"We are a good team."

"And we do everything. Together."

"Yeah, together."

He placed a kiss into her hair and for once Rachel could make herself believe that everything was going to be okay. So okay that she could even give her sister a call. Just to check up on her. Just after everything that happened with Sameen.

But the moment, now, was with Eddie and she hoped to share many moments like that with him. Him by her side as her deputy, friend and, now, something a lot more. It was the start of something incredible and it was the first relationship that she didn't feel anxious about and Eddie was the first man to make her feel totally at ease with.

She loved Eddie Lawson and she was sure that she would tell him that very soon.


	13. Series 3 Episode 19

_Thank you for the reviews... I will try my best in this crazy time to keep you all sane..._

_So this is an angle that I have come up with... don't know whether it works. You can tell me if you can see this happening. Maybe you can see this as an extra scene(ish)._

* * *

**Series 3 Episode 19**

"You almost didn't take the money, did you?" Eddie said after Steph left them.

Rachel sighed. "Just… felt too close to home." She rolled her eyes. "Never shown a little thigh before."

"Thought that might be the comment you would focus on."

She gave Eddie a smile. He was just trying to make the best of a rather sordid situation. The whole thing was wrong. She should know. Reminded her way too much of what she had done in the past. And maybe what didn't help Steph's case any more was the fact that she wasn't sober. Her heart might have been in the right place but it didn't matter. She had gone about it in all the wrong ways.

"Just another problem to deal with."

"We will sort it."

"Would be nice not to have any problems."

"It would be boring that way."

"Boring would be nice now."

"Don't let Steph get you down."

She took a sip of her drink as she thought about what she was going to say to him. She felt like she had to say something about everything that had happened over the last few weeks, especially after everything that he did for her regarding Stuart.

"I don't think I thanked you properly. For everything that you have done."

"Because there is no need to thank me. What I did for you is like you what did for me and Micheal. Maybe it took me longer than it should have done to realise that."

"What? Are we even then?"

"Even or just good friends that like to interfere in the other one's life?"

Rachel sensed the reluctance in his voice to use the word friends. She was certain that he obviously could feel what was happening between them. Not that she was totally against the idea. She would even go against her rule to never date a colleague again after the last relationship she was in with a colleague ended badly. There were so many things she could say about Eddie and they would all lead back to the same point.

Eddie knew her like no one else did.

He always seemed to know what she was thinking or feeling and with everything that happened, she had realised it more and more. From the little glances to the 'you're just a natural worrier' comment.

But she felt like it was the same the other way around. She felt like she could read Eddie very well.

"Maybe the second one." She said.

He glanced up at her before looking back down at the table. Maybe he was waiting for her to say something about their relationship. Maybe he was reluctant because he knew how she could be. Maybe she had to make the first move. Maybe she had to work out what that could be.

* * *

"Why don't we go out after the last day of term? For a drink or a meal? I don't mind." Rachel said as they settled with their morning coffee.

"We could do."

"So we could talk."

"About everything?"

"If you want."

She could only smile as his brow creased. She could tell that he didn't really know how to take her offer.

"I mean, what is a drink between friends. Unless… there is a chance of something more." She said.

"Yeah… I mean, only if you want to."

"Why would I say it if I didn't want it?"

"True. So… it's a date?"

"Yeah. It is." She said with the biggest smile on her face.

* * *

Eddie knew that he wasn't concentrating. His last class seemed to be a blur and he was sure he hadn't marked a single book in the 15 minutes since the start of his free period. Maybe it was because something was on his mind. Rachel was on his mind.

He knew that he was waiting for her to be ready. He knew what was building between them. He knew it was the reason why he punched Stuart. He knew it was the reason that he wanted to do whatever he could to protect her. He knew he felt something more for her than just platonic feelings. He knew that he didn't want to attach a certain word to his feelings just yet but he was certain that, that word could be used.

Things felt so complicated between them but it seemed like they weren't at the same time. It was a weird feeling that Eddie had and it was exciting to find someone again after Alison. Rachel was the reason that he wanted to stay at Waterloo Road. Her past didn't matter now. Her past just made it possible to see the woman that she was. The passion and determination that she had could be explained by her past. And it just made so much sense.

He had been physically attracted to her since her first day, even though he did act like an arse. The fact that she did hold some of the same values as him and she was doing all she could to give the students the best chance, was something that only made her more attractive.

Him being angry about her past was a blip and he was glad that he could move his anger off of her and to Stuart. She didn't deserve his anger. She had already been through too much already.

His phone going off brought him out of his thoughts and he smiled to see it was from Rachel, wondering whether he was free to talk over the plans for the last week of term.

His marking could wait. She couldn't.


	14. Series 3 Episode 20 I

_Thank you for the reviews._

_*cracks knuckles* Now I can make some real changes here._

_There are two parts of this episode. Mainly because I could think of two different ways as to how this episode could have changed for the better. So we start with the thing that happened first._

_Stuart Hordley revealing Rachel's past._

* * *

**Series 3 Episode 20 I**

"Steph, have you found him?"

"No, sorry."

"And have you seen Eddie?"

"Nope."

Rachel sighed as she let Steph go, who wanted a word with Maxine. The last thing she needed was both the head of English and her deputy not making an appearance at the spelling bee. The more she thought about it, the more she felt like Eddie wanted to say something else to her in her office earlier.

Although him, practically asking her out was better than whatever he did want to say. She could sense that he was nervous about saying it and maybe it was the right time for them. It was obviously building between them. She just had to decide how far she was going to allow it to go.

* * *

Eddie knew that he should be in the spelling bee, sitting next to Rachel, but he had to do something. It was his fault that Stuart had gone bust and it would be his fault if he allowed Stuart to reveal her secret. Because Stuart didn't have anything on Eddie. It was the reason he had sent the photocopies of the newspaper article.

He wished that he could have been honest with Rachel that morning but he couldn't. He liked seeing her happy and, in all honesty, if he wasn't met with what he was that morning, he was going to ask her out for a drink anyway. It felt right and it felt like it was the way their relationship was heading. He was all ready to tell her about how much she meant to him.

He watched Stuart's car come down the drive and into the car park. Eddie knew that he would park near the entrance. It was where he had always parked. Eddie prepared himself for this to get ugly. The last thing that was going to happen was for Stuart to enter the school and reveal everything.

The sight of Stuart just angered him and he definitely looked like he was a man on a mission.

"Out the way Lawson."

"No way." He said as he pushed Stuart backwards. "You're problem is with me. Not Rachel."

"If it wasn't for her, you wouldn't have bleated to the council. What? Are you hoping that it will help you get into her knickers?"

"I want you off school property now."

"Or what?"

Eddie didn't like the glint in Stuart's eye. But all Eddie knew was that he couldn't allow this to get out. One way or another.

* * *

Rachel turned to Eddie as he sat down in the chair as Matt was saying what the last word of the spelling bee was. She took in his bruising eye and the cut on his lip. She knew that he knew that she was going to ask the question, even more so when she looked down at his knuckles to see them all red.

"I'll explain later." He said.

"You bloody will. Look at you. Especially in front of Forest Mount. God knows what opinion they have of us already and now you look like you've been in a fight."

"Well, I don't think you would have liked the alternative."

There was just something about the way that he said it that made her believe him. She accepted what he had said and hoped that as soon as the spelling bee was over, they could get to her office to talk about what had happened. Although she was certain that she wasn't going to like what was going to come out of his mouth.

* * *

"We are definitely going to need that drink," Eddie whispered to her as the football match started.

"And you still need to explain your appearance to me."

"I will. I promise."

"I knew today was too good to be true."

"And would you believe me if I said it could have been a hell of a lot worse?"

"In what way?"

"I'll… explain later."

Rachel was trying to still be annoyed at him but she constantly found herself worrying about what had happened rather than being angry at him because it did. It just confirmed to her that she was ready to take the next step with him, if that was what he wanted as well.

"Where are you taking me tonight?"

"Why?"

"So I know what to wear. Just because you might change your shirt, doesn't mean that I am not going to think about it."

"Just to a pub a friend runs. So casual." He paused. "And I am going to change my shirt. For a t-shirt."

"You are unbelievable sometimes."

"You love it."

Her eyes flicked up at him, meaning that both of them missed the goal that Waterloo Road had just scored. She felt her lips part as she thought about what she was going to say to him.

"Of course I do. I wouldn't want you any other way."

"Good. Because I am not about to change."

"Me neither."

She nudged his arm before she turned her attention back to the football match. He was definitely hers, whether that was just as her deputy or as something a lot more. He was hers.

* * *

Rachel had kept it casual, copying what she thought Eddie would be wearing. A t-shirt and a pair of jeans. She even dug her trainers out, not really looking forward to wearing heels again. Bearing in mind, she knew that Eddie wore trainers to work, she knew he wouldn't be wearing smart shoes.

He picked her up, eight o'clock on the dot and his eye and lip had finally finished bruising. His knuckles were still red but she couldn't tell whether they were going to bruise as well or just be sore. She had gone over a number of scenarios in her head as to the reason why Eddie looked the way that he did and she always came back to the same conclusion.

Stuart must have turned up.

It would make sense as to his comments that the day could have been worse. She waited for him to get the first drink before she brought up the subject again.

"What happened this morning?" She said.

"Those envelopes that I had this morning? Well, they contained a photocopy of that article. The one that has your picture next to it. I gathered them all up, even took yours. Before I left the staffroom, Steph told me that Stuart had gone bust. I… I couldn't let him get away with it Rachel." He paused. "I had a word with a mate of mine in the council. Told him about Hordley using illegal labour on council contracts. He obviously did look into it because he had lost all his contracts. He was going to take it out on you rather than me. I… I couldn't let that happen, Rachel. I knew he would turn up at some point. Maybe I am glad that it was halfway through the spelling bee. I wasn't about to let him ruin you because of something I did. He didn't like it and… we exchanged a few punches."

"You must have done something to make him leave."

"I had already called the police. Told them that Stuart was stalking and harassing you and the fact that they sent a police officer around to take a statement is the reason that he was arrested. I told them that I would get you to go down to the station in the morning to give over a statement as he had threatened you that morning and wasn't up to give a statement. They are going to hold him until they get your statement."

"Eddie…"

"I know. I should have told you. But… you were so happy this morning and… the last thing that you needed was for me to tell you that there was a chance that your secret could come out. We do need something to tell them tomorrow though."

"We could tell them the truth. I could say that I hadn't told you about the blackmail and you just saw it as him stalking me when he was making sure I was keeping my end of the bargain. I mean, they can have access to the schools CCTV. They will know that he showed up at all times of the day."

"Are you sure?"

She nodded her head at him. "Yeah. And thank you. Yes, today could have been a lot worse if I had to also deal with my past coming out. I… I don't think that we would be sitting here now if it had."

"I think the day would definitely have had a different tone to it."

"It could still come out."

"And if it does, we will deal with it. I can't see how it will though. I think we can finally close this part of Waterloo Road's history."

"Although I am not happy that you got hurt because of me."

"I think this is the better of two evils. Me getting hurt because of you or your secret coming out because of me?"

She placed a hand over his. "I'll just glad he didn't hurt you too much."

His thumb stroked the tips of her fingers. He smiled down at their hands before he looked up at her. The same nervousness that he had in the morning was back.

"Anything for you Mason."

"Really?"

"Of course."

"My deputy looking after me."

"Someone has to."

"I suppose they do."

"You've let me in now."

"I know."

"And I want you to keep letting me in."

"Naturally."

"Rachel, we work. Don't we?"

She smiled at him. "Of course we work."

"And… you feel it too?"

"Of course I do."

"I just… didn't want it just to be me."

She felt like he needed a little bit more confirmation than just words. It was the only reason she could come up with as to why she leant closer to him and pressed a kiss to the corner of his mouth. She was going to say something when she had returned to her original position but Eddie had turned his head and made it more than it first intended to be. Of course, she wasn't complaining as her hand made his way to his hair and she wished at the corner of the table wasn't in their way of making the kiss the best one that she had ever had.

"You know, this is a B&B. My friend says that there is a spare room if you want to."

"Sounds to me like you had this all planned Lawson."

"Maybe I just didn't expect us to get to this point so early in the night."

"I didn't either."

She hoped that she had the same glint in her eye that he did. They picked up their drinks and made their way to the bar where Eddie spoke to his friend before they were taken to the room. Maybe things were happening a bit quicker than they both expected but it was building between them. This was how they were meant to be. Together.


	15. Series 3 Episode 20 II

_Thank you for the reviews._

_I think I can afford to give you this early. I mean, it will give me a reason to constantly be checking my phone every five seconds when it is just me and one of the partners in the office this afternoon. _

_And now the second thing. _

_Rachel trying to save Stuart from the fire._

* * *

**Series 3 Episode 20 II**

Rachel knew that she was almost out. She knew that she shouldn't have gone for a closer look but she had to make sure that it was a person. Seeing that it was Stuart but knowing that there was no chance of her getting him out by herself, there was only one thing that she could do. She had seen that the fire brigade was there. Surely they could save him.

Retracing her steps back to the doors, she used her body to push it open, feeling the smoke affecting her. The coughing wasn't the worst part. It was the fact that she was starting to lose her breath. It wasn't until she was down the stairs that she felt the fresh air hit her lungs. She took in a couple of deep breaths as a couple of the firemen came over to her.

"There is someone still in there." She said before she had a coughing fit. "Just in the corridor down to the canteen."

She wasn't completely convinced by their reply but she felt like she had done her part in telling someone about Stuart. She didn't need to be a hero and it was time she realised that. She didn't need to save Stuart to show that she was the bigger person.

It took her a little while to get through the fire brigade and what she expected was the danger zone. All she could see was fire engines and police cars. There were a couple of ambulances as well and she hoped that no one had been that seriously injured. It would be her fault. Everything that happened at the school ultimately came back to her.

She didn't realise that Eddie was in front of her until his arms were around her shoulders. There was a part of her that was glad that he had done what he had done. She was starting to feel her strength leave her and she raised her arms underneath his and held onto the back of his blazer. She turned her head to the side to stop her tears from getting on his shirt.

"Come on, let's get you checked over." He said as he let her go slightly.

Keeping an arm around her shoulders and her keeping a handful of his blazer, he started to walk her over to where the paramedics were. She allowed herself to rest her head on his shoulder for a moment, so grateful that it seemed like he was always by her side. Her deputy.

They had so much to talk about. She knew that she needed his support. That respect he gave her wholeheartedly. She couldn't leave that behind. Maybe she would just have to ride out what could come for her.

But they needed to talk about it. She needed his opinion on it as well.

* * *

It was only as the last students were picked up that she noticed the body bag. Maybe because they were also waiting for the majority of people to go before they brought him out. It made her a little more grateful that she hadn't tried to save him. If he was already dead when she found him, then she would have put herself at risk for a dead man.

Or that was what she had to tell herself so that she didn't feel guilty for not helping him.

"Rach, we can go."

She turned to Eddie and looked up at him, realising that other than the emergency services, they were the only ones left on the grass.

"Eddie."

"Yeah?"

She found herself struggling to say the words that she knew she wanted to say. She had let him in once before and she didn't know why it was so hard to do the same now. Maybe because she had built all her walls back up. Maybe because she didn't want her heart broken any more than it already was.

"We need to talk."

"I think I should get you home first."

"I… I want to go home."

"Rachel, I'm not going to leave your side. Not now, not ever. If you will allow me."

"How do you always know what I need to hear?"

"I obviously know you too well."

"Stay the night. I… I don't want to be on my own."

"Of course. Come on. I'll drive."

* * *

Eddie had sat Rachel down on one of her sofas while he made his way to her kitchen to make them a drink. He did think about going through her cupboards for some wine or something like that but he felt like that wouldn't do her any good. What she needed was something for the shock of the day's events and there was only one drink for that. A sugary cup of tea or coffee.

Managing to find some decaf coffee, he got two mugs out and made one for himself as well. He wanted to remain positive about what Rachel wanted to talk about but he couldn't after the last proper conversation that they had held. He was certain that there was a part of her that was going to leave Waterloo Road but he hoped that he could convince her otherwise. He just didn't think that now was the time. Something for the morning when she was feeling more herself.

He brought the two drinks in and handed hers over to her. She looked rather confused at the coffee.

"It's decaf." He said.

"Just there is a bottle of wine in the fridge."

"Maybe later. Rachel… I think you are in shock, about everything that has happened today. I don't think you have had the time to think about it all and therefore, this morning, you made a rash decision." He paused only momentarily and started talking before she had the chance to say anything. "I know that you want to talk. But I think for tonight, you need looking after. We can talk in the morning, when you have processed everything and you are less likely to make a quick decision. Like resigning."

She looked down at her coffee.

"What did I do to deserve you, Eddie Lawson?"

He waited for her to look back up at him before he said anything.

"For the same reason as to why I deserve you, Rachel Mason."

He was glad that she smiled at him. It was a start for him. It meant that she might not shut him out. That she might still let him in. That their talk tomorrow was going to be important but she would be more inclined to listen rather than just doing what she thought was best. It was a start of them building on the relationship that they had started and even if it wasn't how Eddie wanted it, as long as Rachel was still at Waterloo Road, he would wait for her. Because they had something special. Because it would work out in the end. He just had to show her that. He just had to show her the respect and love that he had for her.


	16. Series 4 Episode 1 I

_Thank you for the reviews._

_Who wants an early morning post because the madness of last night is still playing on their mind? I mean, I am currently waiting for an email to tell me what the hell is going on what it means for me. Although I am in a better mood than I was last night... despite only get less than 3 and a half hours of sleep..._

_So there was only going to be one way that I was going to change this episode (I think you can all guess how) until I watched the episode and had another idea. I ummed and ahhed about it (even went to twitter about it) and decided to add it in. Mainly because, if it did happen, it would have been a nice parallel to what happened in S03E20. Or not? Give me your thoughts on it. Because I don't know anymore. _

* * *

**Series 4 Episode 1 I**

It was just the final check. Like Rachel had done for the fire. Just one last quick sweep. Making sure that there wasn't anyone else inside. Obviously, if there was a gun in the school, the only person who wouldn't be outside would be the person with the gun.

It was the last room that Eddie was going to look in before he was going to head out front. It must have just been like what Rachel must have felt like when she found Stuart in the fire. It was something that he wanted to talk to her about. They hadn't really had a chance to talk yet. About anything. Although he got the feeling that she was trying to shrug him and his attempts to talk. He just had to make sure that he was dreaming up what was happening between them before the fire.

The last room.

It was always the last room.

He heard the breathing. It was the only reason he looked a little better around the staffroom. He had hoped that Rachel had been right. That the note was some sick joke but it wasn't. It definitely wasn't a joke. Not when Earl Kelly came out of his hiding place, gun on show. It didn't help that Denzil was with him too.

"Earl. Can we talk about this?" Eddie said as he held his hands up.

"Someone grassed me up."

"Why have you got it?"

Eddie realised that this is where Rachel shined a bit more. She could talk people down. He was more of an act now, think later sort of guy.

It was amazing how she filled his thoughts. How the worry that he had at the end of last term while he waited for her to come out of the school filled him again.

Was this it? Was he never going to get the chance to tell her how he felt about her? Would he never get the chance to kiss her? Would he never get the chance to tell her that he loved her? Would he never get the chance to show her how much he loved her?

"I think we need to do something about this. Don't we, Den?"

By the look on Denzil's face, it looked like this isn't what the young boy wanted. It was clear that he didn't want to be there. That Earl was frightening him.

"Earl. Please."

It was a momentary decision that probably saved his life. Before the gun went off, Eddie had hoped that he could get to the door of the staffroom without getting hurt. There was a loud bang and Eddie was glad that the adrenaline kicked in at that point. He felt the bullet hit his upper arm but he carried on, trying to get as many doors between him and Earl as possible.

* * *

Rachel had only just told Ralph that they had the situation under control when they heard the shot. The students started to scream and panic. Everyone else was trying to take control of the situation but the one voice she needed to hear wasn't there.

_Eddie._

She didn't know why she started running towards the entrance of the school but she was stopped when one of the police officers grabbed her around the waist and pulled her away. Something she knew that she would be grateful for later, just not now.

"Eddie is still in there." She screamed as she tried to fight the officer off.

She could just about hear Ralph talking to her about arresting her or something like that if she continued to fight. It wasn't the first time she had tried to fight off a police officer and the way that she was going, it wasn't going to be the last time either. She did finally give up as she lost her strength.

She was still staring at the entrance as Tom got her and walked her to where the rest of the school was. She could feel the fight gather in her again but he seemed to have his grip tightly on her. Maybe what had happened in the fire hadn't just affected her. Maybe it had affected the staff and student body. Maybe her running back into the school was the last thing that they needed.

But the last thing she needed was Eddie to be brought out in a body bag.

She tried to stop the sobs but she only grabbed onto Tom's coat as she finally allowed herself to breakdown. She had come back too soon. Her doctor was right. Melissa was right. She wasn't ready for this and, worst of all, she wasn't ready to face Eddie again. She knew what he wanted from her and deep down, she knew that she wanted the same. It was why she had been short with him and tried to brush off his advances.

But, at that moment, he was all that mattered. The fact that she did feel something for him mattered. The fact that she knew what he wanted to say that morning mattered. The fact that he wanted to talk about everything that happened at the end of the school year mattered. The fact that they never got that drink mattered. The fact that he was her best friend mattered. The fact that he knew her like no one else mattered.

Eddie Lawson mattered to her and she worried that she would never be able to tell him that.

She wished that she could start the day over. She wished that she could tell him from the off that they could talk about it later. She wished that she could tell him that she wasn't mentally ready. She wished that she could tell him that she just needed time.

By the time she could focus on what Tom was telling her, she had realised that they were sitting on the grass, with his arms wrapped right around her, holding her close to his chest.

"Rachel?"

"He's one of the reasons I came back. I… I can't lose him, Tom."

"I get that. But I don't think he would ever forgive us if we allowed you to put yourself in danger again. You know, he waited here for them to pull you out of the rubble before he would leave. He sat by your bedside until I told him about the vote of no confidence and then that became the most important thing for him. To make sure that you had your job and the school was ready for your return."

"I… I think I love him, Tom."

"I don't think that is a bad assumption to make. Come on, let's get you with the rest of the school. We've got it all under control."

It was as Tom was about to turn her to walk her to the rest of them, that the doors flung open and Eddie half ran out of the school. Tom wasn't quick enough to catch her but one of the police officers that were standing around the entrance to keep people away, did.

She almost shouted out to him but there was the way that he was holding onto his left upper arm and the blood that made her stop. His eyes finally met hers and she could sense the relief flood over him. Did he think that she would do something stupid again?

The ambulance arrived and as soon as the paramedics got to Eddie, they dragged him away. Rachel could only hear her own breaths as she watched it drive away.

* * *

Tom had dropped her off at the hospital after they dealt with the fact that Denzil was with Earl. The poor kid was still in custody until the police had the chance to speak to Eddie about what happened. As much as Rachel wanted to go home, she knew that she could leave Eddie on his own. Not when she knew that he hadn't left her on her own. Ever since Tom told her, she wished that it was Eddie that she woke up to and not her sister. It might have changed her feelings about everything. It might have changed who she saw as an ally.

She lied to the people at the desk, telling them that she was his girlfriend, because she knew that they wouldn't let her through if she said that she was his boss or just a friend. She wondered whether he had used the same lie to sit next to her.

They politely told her that he was being seen at the moment but as soon as the doctor had cleared him for visitors, they would come and get her. She only left when they reassured her that they would get her from the cafe nearby and she left to get herself a coffee. She felt like she might be in for a long night.

* * *

Rachel didn't really believe Eddie was okay until she saw him. They warned her that he might not be feeling himself because of the pain medication that they had put him on. She didn't care. She needed to see him.

He looked shocked to see her and as she took the chair to his right, she knew that she was glad that she had stayed. She didn't think that she would have been able to be at home, worrying about how he was, with Melissa fussing over her.

"Hi." She said.

"Are you here for my telling off?"

"You haven't told me off yet."

"You are the boss."

"And I could only imagine what you were feeling when you were waiting for me to come out of the school when it was on fire. Tom told me. You waited."

"I… I couldn't have gone home without knowing that you were okay."

"Like I couldn't go home now. Eddie… I know what you have been trying to say to me all day. And… I'll admit… I was ready to push you away. But… I… I can't. Not… Not when today made me realise… I can't be without you. I… I just need time, Eddie. I shouldn't have come back so soon. I wasn't ready. I… part of me just wanted to see you again. Everyday."

"I can't be without you too, Rach. All I could think about when Earl pointed the gun at me… was you and how there was a chance that I could never tell you what you mean to me." He turned the palm of his right hand up. "I'll wait for you. I just needed to know that it wasn't a never. I needed to know that it was a possibility."

She reached out and grabbed his hand. "Of course it is a possibility. When I have sorted myself out." She paused. "Plus, you aren't allowed to do anything like that again. You could have been killed."

"Yes, Miss."

Rachel found herself smiling. It was the first proper reason that she had to smile since the fire. Everything was going to be okay. She was certain of it.


	17. Series 4 Episode 1 II

_Thank you for the reviews._

_I know what I am going regarding work now... I do think I will be glad when I can go back into the office but I still have a job which is the main thing._

_Now, this is how this episode should have ended and I think it is all the change that you are expecting. With Eddie being a bit of a romantic._

* * *

**Series 4 Episode 1 II**

"Just leave it, Eddie."

Deep down, Rachel knew that she didn't want to push him away. She knew he was right when he said that there was something between them. But she couldn't do it. She couldn't put it into words but she just couldn't do it. Not with the scar.

She was only half-aware of him calling after her but she only had one destination. Her sister's car.

She was a few steps away when he finally caught her up and stopped her before he got onto his knees in front of her.

"Eddie, get up."

"Not until you have listened to me."

"This is ridiculous."

"And… you potentially throwing whatever we had away is equally ridiculous. Rachel… All I want you to do is listen to me. Properly listen to me. If you still feel the same way when I have finished, then… I'll find a way to get over you. I'll move on."

She sighed, knowing that there were times when he was as stubborn as she was. She nodded at him, unable to trust what might come out of her mouth.

"Rachel, there is no one like you. And as much as I shouted at you earlier, I know why you ran back into that building. Because you knew that there was a scared 11-year-old boy who didn't know what the hell was going on and I hate that you do stupid things like that, but it is what I love about you. I love your determination. That never giving up attitude. I love your passion for the kids. I love that you want to help them out. I love… Well, I am certain that I love you.

"You don't know how much I wanted you to walk out of the doors during the fire. How equally worried and angry that I was when they pulled your body from the rubble and then Stuart's. You wouldn't have known that I tried to be by your bedside as much as I could. That the only reason I… abandoned you was because they said that they had contacted your next of kin and I had heard of the vote of no confidence.

"Rachel. You are Waterloo Road as much as every teacher and student that walks through the gates. You are the woman that has turned around the school. And I will forever be making up for the fact that Stuart told them all your secret. Waterloo Road wouldn't be the same without you. It is your school and as much as Ralph wanted me to take the job, I couldn't. Because turning up, day in day out, without you in that office would… it wouldn't be worth doing the job any more. Rach…"

It was only as the car horn went off that Rachel realised that they were in the middle of the road. The person rolled down their window to shout at them.

"Yeah, well can't you see I am trying to declare my love here," Eddie shouted back.

"Eddie, just get up."

He did and the driver made obscene gestures at them as he drove off. It was only as Eddie moved back to where they were that she felt like this was all going a little too far. Although she was enjoying the gesture.

"You were there." He said, pointing at where she was.

"And Eddie, we were in the middle of the road."

"So, I hadn't finished."

She found herself smiling and shaking her head at him. She retook her place in front of him, hoping that he wouldn't get back down on his knees.

"Rach, I'm not going to stand here and tell you how you should feel. I know you better than that. But, I… I do need you to be certain. I… don't want you to say no now, when you should have said maybe. I don't want to hurt you, Rach. I don't want to do something stupid. Because I know you, Rach. You will always put others before yourself. Which is another thing I love about you."

She was finding the words to say to him when her phone rang, it wasn't a good distraction but she knew it was only going to be one person and she was so glad that Melissa hadn't got out of the car.

"_Are you coming?" _Her sister asked.

"Yeah, just… give me five minutes."

"_Who are you talking to?"_

"The guy… that I told you about."

Rachel didn't wait for her sister's reply and hung up. She knew she had to say something to Eddie. She knew that she had said what she had to give him a little hope as well. She just had to organise her own thoughts.

She found herself raising her hand and cupping his cheek. He had reminded her as to why she fell in love with him at the end of the last school year. Why she was looking forward to that drink with him on the last day. Why she was so disappointed when he didn't turn up when she was at the hospital or when she was home.

"No. You are right. It… isn't a no. There was something." She paused. "I wish we got that drink. I… wish I never tried to save Stuart by myself. Still don't really know what was going through my mind when I thought it was a good idea. Eddie… there were equal parts of me that wanted you to visit me and not. Did… did you know about the scar then?"

"No. They wouldn't tell me much. And at that point, you had a hospital gown up to your neck."

"Eddie… I wasn't ready to come back today. As much as I wanted to come back, I realise now that it was too soon."

"That was only because of the gun."

She shook her head at him. "No, it was before that. It was the way that my hands shook as I left my car or the way that I thought people were talking about me. Or… or the panic attack that I almost had in the foyer. Or the way it took me a few moments to get the assembly started this morning. I wasn't ready as much as I wanted to come back to work. So whatever there was between us at the end of the school year… I am not ready for that either. I need to take this one step at a time. Work is more important. I have more people relying on me. I am grateful for everything you have done. And I realise that I need you by my side. I need your support. I… I just can't take it to the next stage yet."

He smiled at her as he took a small step forward.

"Then I will be by your side, supporting you. I want to be there for every breakdown, every time you feel like you are going to go into a panic. I am there for you Rachel. And I'll wait for you. We will get you settled in, where you belong. Then we can work out everything else. Because nothing else matters at the moment. I… just wish you told me sooner."

"Used to just putting on a brave face."

"Not to me. Not anymore."

Her arms slid around his neck and she knew that he wanted more than a hug but it was all she could manage at the moment. His arms wrapped around her waist and she felt him place his nose on her shoulder.

"We will talk more in the morning." He said as they pulled back.

"I think we have a lot to talk about in the morning."

"There is the Rachel Mason I love."

"I don't think so. But… I'll get back there."

"I'll pick you up at 8."

"Sounds like a plan."

He didn't want to let her go, but she knew that he knew he had to. They hadn't left it at her saying no to them. It was a maybe. It was a we will see. And Rachel couldn't be more glad that Eddie followed her.


	18. Series 4 Episode 2

_Thank for the reviews._

_Another recurring theme is going to start here... I mean, I think you could all guess that this was going to be a thing... couldn't you?_

_So this was a thing that I came up with. Better than the episode though._

* * *

**Series 4 Episode 2**

If anything, Melissa was glad that their secret was out. Mainly because it meant that she didn't have to lie to Eddie. There was something about the way he was with her and she quite enjoyed the fact that he was close to her, talking to her as they waited for their drinks. Especially more so when she felt his hand on her lower back.

Fast mover.

He was the one to help her when she was struggling. Rachel could only go on about how she needed the adult education thing to work. She thought that her sister would be there for her. Especially when Rachel knew that she didn't really know what she was doing. She might be the new and improved Melissa but Rachel was still the same old Rachel. Or Amanda. Not that either of them liked to bring that up.

"So you are a white wine drinker while Rachel is a red?" Eddie said.

"We might be sisters but we definitely have different tastes."

"Really?"

"Yeah, like Rachel is devoted to her work. Me, on the other hand, I'm always looking for a little fun. I mean, it can't be all work and no play right?"

"I wouldn't be too hard on her at the moment."

"Eddie, you make it seem like we know two different people. Rachel is fine."

"I don't think I would be fine after almost dying in a fire."

"Rachel has always bounced back. It is what she does."

"Still. I… I probably should apologise to her in the morning. Went in a little hard when I found out that you were sisters."

"She'll get over it."

"Will she?"

"Yeah. How about we move on from Rachel and… I want to know a little more about you."

He turned to her a little more and suddenly his hand dropped from her back and he stood up a little straighter. Somehow, she already knew the name that was going to come off his lips. She hadn't missed it earlier. The way that he wanted her to come for the drink.

"Rachel?"

Melissa stopped herself from rolling her eyes. Of course, her sister would come along and ruin this for her. Like many other things in her life.

"Sorry. Eddie, you were right. Maybe… I should be showing the staff that everything is okay." She said as she joined them.

"Merlot?" He asked.

"Please."

_Bloody typical. _Melissa thought.

* * *

There was something oddly compelling about Melissa. Or maybe that was what Eddie was trying to tell himself as she was the sister standing next to him at the bar rather than Rachel. He still meant every word that he had said to Rachel but there was something about Melissa. Maybe because even if they were different, there was an odd sense of familiarity.

He was just fishing around for something to say. He only leant in because the bar was a little busier than he expected for a Monday and he wanted to be able to hear what she had to say without having to shout over all the noise. His hand only went to her back to bring her slightly more towards him. Just so that he could hear her.

"So you are a white wine drinker while Rachel is a red?" He finally said.

"We might be sisters but we definitely have different tastes."

"Really?"

"Yeah, like Rachel is devoted to her work. Me, on the other hand, I'm always looking for a little fun. I mean, it can't be all work and no play right?"

He could definitely tell that. It was why he knew better than to argue with Rachel when she said that she wasn't going to go out with them. There was no point arguing with her. He didn't want to confess his feelings for her again, only to be rejected again. He didn't think his heart could take it.

"I wouldn't be too hard on her at the moment."

"Eddie, you make it seem like we know two different people. Rachel is fine."

It was the one thing that he knew. Rachel was not fine. She had basically confirmed that with the 'I needed an ally' comment earlier. She had lost trust in everyone around her, including him. It was why he was angry at her. It wasn't really because Melissa was her sister. It was because she didn't see him as her ally. Especially when she didn't know how hard he had to work to keep her job.

"I don't think I would be fine after almost dying in a fire."

"Rachel has always bounced back. It is what she does."

"Still. I… I probably should apologise to her in the morning. Went in a little hard when I found out that you were sisters."

"She'll get over it."

"Will she?" He questioned, not really sure that she would.

"Yeah. How about we move on from Rachel and… I want to know a little more about you."

He turned to her a little more and suddenly his hand dropped from her back and he stood up a little straighter. He hadn't expected her to come. But there she was. Coming through the door of the pub where she had told him that there was no them. Rachel had come.

"Rachel?"

She only smiled as she made her way over to them. He could sense the change in Melissa but he didn't care. Rachel had come and that was enough to brighten his evening.

"Sorry. Eddie, you were right. Maybe… I should be showing the staff that everything is okay." She said as she joined them.

"Merlot?" He asked, knowing better at the moment to comment on the 'you were right' or the 'everything is okay' comment.

"Please."

He turned back to the bar to order the drink. He bit his lip to try and stop himself from smiling. He just couldn't be an idiot this time.

* * *

Rachel sat in her car for a couple of minutes, wondering whether this was a good idea or not. She knew why she didn't want to go for a drink but she also knew the reason she was outside. She hadn't missed her sisters 'thanks' as she left. Or the smile Melissa gave Eddie when he said that she deserved a drink. It was those two reasons, alone, as to why she was outside the pub, trying to find the strength to go in.

Her hand pulled on the handle as she found herself stepping out of her car and walking to the pub. She headed straight in, knowing that if she looked through the window to make sure that they were still there, she would never go in. She just had to bite the bullet and face Eddie. Especially after what happened last week. Maybe this time, she would be more accepting of what he was offering her.

Her heart skipped a beat as she had literally only just walked through the door when she heard him calling her name.

"Rachel?"

She smiled at Eddie before she made her way over to where he was with Melissa. For her, it looked a little cosy but she had to admit, it was busy for a Monday.

"Sorry. Eddie, you were right. Maybe… I should be showing the staff that everything is okay." She said as she joined them.

"Merlot?"

"Please." She said, glad that he didn't say anything about him being right or that everything is okay.

Rachel was glad that she could read Melissa right. It seemed like her sister was, once again, not glad that she was there. The new and improved Melissa was already slipping away. Because it would just be the old Melissa to instantly try and get with someone on her first day. And it would just be typical that all her energies would go on Eddie. A man that Rachel knew she loved, just was scared to take that step with.

She smiled at Eddie as he handed over her drink.

"Philip's a lovely lad," Eddie said as he leant against the bar, turned more to Rachel now than Melissa.

"Yeah, he is. Just a shame that Bolton and Paul did what they did." Rachel said.

"I think the threat of not being able to join the boxing club will have helped."

"Hope so. I mean, I thought we had got them out of that."

"Can we stop talking shop?" Melissa said.

Rachel glanced over at Eddie.

"Philip is great. Glad he is my nephew."

"Yeah, and when are you going to get a move on? I want a little niece or nephew as well. I mean, I would definitely be fun Auntie Melissa."

"As opposed to?"

"Worried Auntie Rachel." Melissa turned to Eddie. "You must notice how much she worries."

"A natural worrier. It is why she keeps me around. She does all the worrying, I tell her that everything will be okay." Eddie said.

"Now what is happening with this guy you told me about at Christmas?"

Rachel sighed. "Look, I've only just gone back to work. A relationship is the last thing I am thinking about at the moment."

"Yeah, but do you still like him and everything? I had never heard you talk about something like you did about this person."

Rachel knew that Melissa was blind to things that surrounded her. The fact that she was asking about Eddie, in front of him, when she had told him last week that there was nothing between them.

"Melissa… the last thing I need now is you matchmaking. But… yes, sort of. I'm… muddling through a few things at the moment. Although I don't think he is overly impressed with me at the moment."

"I think you should go for it, Rachel. I mean… I would after everything you've been through. Excuse me." She said as she pointed towards the toilet.

There was a weird silence that fell between her and Eddie. She thought about breaking it but she didn't know how to break it.

"You… could have told me that last week." He said.

"Eddie."

"Rachel, I'm not like her. I understand that you have been through a lot and… I understand now. How you were and everything. Last week was a hard day and it wasn't made any easier by me getting drunk and being an idiot."

"I am muddling through." She paused. "And I'm sorry for earlier. I do know that you are here for me. Sometimes I don't know why I lean on her the way that I do. Maybe it just takes me a while to work out what is in front of me."

"We will take things slow. Build you back up again and then see where it all goes. Rachel, I told you, after you lied to me about ringing the council, anything we do, we do together. That still stands, even more so now. I just wish you said something."

"I was making out that everything was okay. I almost had a panic attack in the foyer that morning. I'm… not used to not being in control."

"I can tell. Just… let me in Rach. You did it before and I know I messed up but, I will try and do a better job of it this time."

Now she knew why she fell in love with Eddie. Now she knew why she did let him in. Now she knew why she went along with his plan to get rid of Stuart. Now she knew the reason why she wanted to come back. It was all Eddie. He was the only ally she would ever need or want. It was just too bad that she was only realising that after Melissa's reappearance permanently in her life.


	19. Series 4 Episode 3

_Thank you for the reviews._

_So we know what the theme is... now to have a bit of fun... I mean, those on Twitter know how much fun I have had with this fic and all the little changes that I have made._

* * *

**Series 4 Episode 3**

She might have smiled at her sister. She might have told him congratulations. She might have made the mistake of not introducing Benjamin properly. But there was no denying the way that her heart broke when Melissa told her.

_Me and Eddie have been seeing each other for a week._

In all honesty, Rachel wasn't blind to it. She had seen the way that they were but maybe, if no one confirmed it, it wasn't true.

The only problem she had was she only had herself to blame. She was the one to push Eddie away and didn't tell him that she wasn't ready. It was the only reason she phoned Benjamin and she wished that Melissa could keep her little snide comments to herself. Especially the comment about 'a woman in love'. If Melissa knew what Rachel looked like when she was in love, then she would have stayed clear of Eddie.

She knew that Eddie would pick up on her mood. She just didn't expect him to pick up on it the day after Melissa had told her.

"Rachel, is everything okay?"

"Yeah. Everythings great."

"Can you look me in the eye and say that instead of trying to ignore me while you pretend to do your paperwork?"

She fought the urge to sigh as she put down her pen and looked up at him.

"Everythings great. Okay? I have got things to do after everything that happened yesterday."

"There was a time when you used to tell me everything."

"Eddie…"

"No, I thought we were over this. I thought you had stopped holding me at arm's length. I thought… I thought at the very least we were friends."

"We are."

"Then what is going on?"

She allowed herself to sigh. How could she tell him? How could she tell him that she made the worst decision of her life three weeks ago and now that decision had caused her worst nightmare?

"Nothings going on."

"Your lips are moving."

"I'm not lying to you, Eddie."

"Are you sure?"

He was angry at her again. She didn't blame him. She was angry at herself. And arguing with him was better than admitting what she now realised.

"Yes." She shouted back as she stood up.

Eddie shook his head at her. "Is it me? Am I the problem?"

"No."

"Then what is it?"

"Do you really want to know?"

"Yes."

"I thought you would be different." She said before she really had a chance to think about what she was going to say.

"What?!"

"I thought... you would be different." She repeated as she dropped back into her seat.

"How?"

"I should really know better." Rachel continued.

"Rachel…"

She looked up at him, putting a stop to whatever he was going to say. She thought about leaving him to work it out himself but she owed it to him to be honest.

"I don't know why I think it will be different each time. She will always be the more carefree, younger one. I mean, there is no contest really, is there?"

"No contest?"

"Between Melissa and myself. Everyone chooses her in the end. Our mum, my first real boyfriend." She paused. "And now you."

"Rachel…"

"And I didn't miss her little comment yesterday. Benjamin isn't my boyfriend or anything like that. Melissa wouldn't know what me being in love would look like. If you'll excuse me, I think one of us should make sure everything is in order after yesterday, don't you?"

She cursed herself as she stood up and made her way out of her office and into the corridors. The tension in her office was getting too much for her and she knew that she shouldn't have said what she did to Eddie. Or maybe she should have given him a chance to talk. Even though she knew that it was probably a good idea that he didn't say anything.

* * *

Rachel had done a pretty good job at avoiding Eddie for the rest of the day. But as soon as she got home, the texts had turned into calls and she felt like she could let out a sigh of relief as her phone finally stopped ringing. She picked her phone up off the counter and saw that she had purposefully ignored 30 texts and 25 calls. He was persistent.

The doorbell went and she sighed, knowing that he was on the other side of the door. Couldn't he get the hint that she might not want to talk to him?

"Rachel!" Eddie shouted.

It wasn't like she could pretend that she was out, more so when he called her again and her ringtone played out. In her panic, she rejected the call, probably confirming to him more that she was home.

"Rachel. I know that you are home. Just open the door. I want to talk."

If only she could talk to him. Then maybe they wouldn't be in this mess.

Admitting defeat and the fact that it seemed like he wasn't going to leave this alone, she walked over to the door and let him in. She wordlessly left the front door open for him to enter as she returned to the kitchen, picking up her wine and taking a mouthful.

"Eddie." She started.

"No. You did all the talking earlier. It is now my turn to talk." He sighed. "Why?"

"Why what?"

"Why did you say all those things outside of the pub if you didn't mean them?"

"Eddie…"

"You told me that there was no us. You told me that things have changed. I don't think anything has changed. If you stuck around to actually listen to me that night, I would have told you that the scar didn't matter. Because it doesn't Rachel. If anything, it shows the person that you are. That even after everything that Stuart had done to you, you were still willing to put your life on the line to try and save his. Because you never give up on anyone or anything. Except for yourself."

"Eddie…"

"I should have known that you would do something like this." He paused. "I should have known that you would… that you would be more willing to throw away what we had or what was building between us than to accept it. I should have known that you wouldn't have been able to pick up where we or the school was before the fire. I should have known that… nothing was okay when you were freaking out about the note. I should have been paying more attention to you. Because I should know you better than that."

Silence fell between them as Rachel tried to work out whether he was finished or not. She didn't want to start talking for him to interrupt her again.

"Melissa would say that is the Fenshaw. The ability to plaster on a smile and just get on with things. Not that Melissa knew Dad. He walked out when she was six-months-old. I was five."

"What did you get from your mum?"

"The Sutton? That is the ability to run away or avoid your problems."

"Right. Can see that."

"It was only when she couldn't work anymore that Melissa and I found out how ill she was. It's just always been easier to follow suit."

"You don't have to. Not to me." He paused. "What did you mean about your mum choosing Melissa over you?"

"I went home after I had been released and the charges dropped. Mum was deadly ill but still could argue with me. She said that it wasn't my home anymore and if I wanted to do that sort of thing, then I was better off on the street with the rest of the lowlifes. I asked about what her and Melissa were going to do and she… she said that I didn't have to worry about Melissa. Turns out she had sent her to live with my grandparents. To save her from the embarrassment of what I had done."

"Rach."

"I mean all of this is typical Melissa." Rachel said, allowing herself to get angry. "I bet… Maybe she isn't as blind as I think she is. Maybe, after all this time, she… just continues to like to push all the right buttons. The better education, the better life. Having men throw themselves at her feet."

"Rachel, I want you to think about yourself for a minute. I want you to be as selfish as you can be. Do you want me to break up with Melissa?"

The answer of no almost left her lips but she knew that, if she was being selfish, it wasn't the answer that she wanted to give. Of course, she wanted him to break up with Melissa because she wanted Eddie to be hers. But was it past the point of no return? Steph must have her suspicions that something is going on between Eddie and Melissa. Plus it would just be another thing for Melissa to hate her for.

"That isn't an easy question."

"Isn't it?"

"This… this is the best our relationship has been. I do actually want my sister in my life, mainly because I want Philip in my life. You breaking up with her for me isn't going to do me any favours. She'll… just hate me more than she already does."

"What do you want Rachel?"

She hadn't realised that they had got so close that she was tilting her head up to look at him. She hadn't realised that their bodies were only millimetres from touching. She hadn't realised that she had put down her glass of wine. But there was one thing that she had realised and that was that the man in front of her, that Eddie Lawson, was the man that she wanted more than anything in the world. That she always wanted him by her side. That she wanted his support and respect. That she wanted him as her ally.

Knowing that words would fail her, she grabbed a hold of his jacket and closed the small gap between them. As her lips met his, he reacted fast, wrapping his arms around her waist and pulling her closer to him. Her hands made their way up his chest to land in his hair. There was something magical about kissing Eddie and she wanted to kick herself for not doing it sooner.

Her head followed his as he pulled back from the kiss and her mind caught up with what had just happened. To her, it didn't matter that it was the best kiss in the world. It did matter that Eddie had just cheated on her sister with her. It didn't matter that it was early days but that she was now the other woman.

"I think you should go." Rachel said, not really wanting to let him go.

"We need to talk, Rachel."

"I can't do this to Melissa."

"And if it was the other way around? Would Melissa do this to you?"

She found herself laughing. "She already has done."

"This is my fault, okay? And I am going to sort it, okay? You are not allowed to blame yourself for this. I'm going to start looking after you Rachel, because it doesn't seem like anyone else is going to."

"Okay."

"I'll deal with Melissa."

"Okay."

"And it will give us time to sort you out as well."

"Okay."

"Okay?"

Rachel nodded at him. "Yeah."

"Then we will talk more tomorrow. Gives you this evening to think things over."

"Maybe I've done too much thinking over the last couple of months. Maybe that is why this is all happening."

"Rach, I pushed you way too soon. None of this would have happened if I let it happen naturally."

She knew that he knew that she was going to argue again. It was the only reason she could think of as to why he kissed her again. Not that she was complaining. Because kissing Eddie Lawson was the best thing in the world.


	20. Series 4 Episode 4

_Thank you for the reviews._

_So we are straight now? Everyone knows the theme from here? Good. Let's continue along those lines._

_Also gave you a sneak peek of this chapter on Twitter. Let's see if you remember it._

* * *

**Series 4 Episode 4**

Rachel hated every second of the speed dating. She was glad that her sister thought she 'had' Benjamin or otherwise she knew that she would have been sitting at one of those tables. It was made worst by her stupid words. She only wanted to raise her concerns about how fast Melissa was taking things with Eddie. Maybe because she hoped that if they weren't past a certain point, she too could have a chance with Eddie when it all went wrong between them. She definitely couldn't watch them as they kissed.

No, she didn't want to go for a drink but there wasn't much time for her to answer as Melissa ran off to get their coats.

"Rachel, I know what you are thinking."

Once upon a time, she would have believed him when he said that. Once upon a time, he knew her inside and out. Once upon a time, she would only have to give him a look and they would instantly be on the same page.

Not anymore. Not since he started dating Melissa.

"Do you now?"

She couldn't hold her smile for long and it was getting harder to keep smiling at him. She had to show that nothing was wrong when everything was wrong. She had managed to hide that Stuart was blackmailing her for so long. So why couldn't she hide her dissatisfaction of his relationship with Melissa?

"It must seem crazy, me getting caught up in all this stuff, but I'm deadly serious about your sister. I just need to know that you're okay with that before we take it any further."

_Take it any further. _Rachel thought. _Haven't you already taken it far enough?_

Maybe she had disillusioned herself into thinking that Melissa and Eddie was just a fling that would end up fizzling out. Maybe it was because she found herself thinking more about the words that he had said outside the pub. Maybe because the more she thought about them, the more she started to believe them.

As much as she wanted to say no, she knew the answer that was going to come off her lips.

"Of course I am." She said before repeating it, for herself mainly.

"Good."

He gave her a smile before he walked off, probably to see where Melissa had got to and Rachel felt her heart break a little more.

* * *

"Tom, what can I do for you?" Rachel said as she turned back around after putting a folder back into the filing cabinet.

"Well, I was going to come and apologise for being a rather rubbish head of pastoral care but after last night, I don't think it would be right to say that I could stand here and say that I would be able to do a better job."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"What? The fact that Earl Kelly tried to throw a bin through the windscreen of my car."

"Oh."

"Exactly, I think I would be wasting my breath." Tom paused. "Do you want to talk though?"

"About what?"

"Some might be blind to it but… it is obvious to me and Davina."

"What's obvious?"

"That you aren't okay with Eddie and Melissa."

Even though she felt like he was going to say that, it still took her by surprise. It was obvious that the longer she let it go on, the more she was making a bad job of showing that it wasn't bothering her. She had left it far too long to deny what Tom had said. She found herself walking over to the sofa and sighing as she sat down.

"Who else has their suspicions?"

"No idea. I haven't been spreading it. I wouldn't do that to you." Tom said as he joined her.

"What am I going to do Tom?"

"I don't think I am best to come to for advice. I only married Lorna because when I begged Izzie to tell me what she felt about me, she told me that we had no chance and she didn't fancy me."

"I… I just thought Eddie knew me better. It… is my fault though. I… I basically told him the same thing on my first day back."

"So do you?"

Rachel looked at Tom. "Do I what?"

"Fancy Eddie?"

"Doesn't matter now."

"Doesn't it?"

"Tom, he is going to move in with my sister. I've… I've already lost him to her. And no matter how lonely I feel or the way that I can't smile at them anymore or the way that I feel like me and Eddie have lost the connection we had… It doesn't matter. I pushed him away and like always, they chose her."

"Doesn't it?"

Rachel swallowed as they both turned to see Eddie standing at the door. There was no telling how much he had heard.

"Eddie…"

"Just answer the question, Rachel."

"Which one?"

"Do you fancy me? Are you finally admitting that there was an us at the end of last term?"

She could see Tom looking at her, willing her to give Eddie an honest answer. She had obviously heard the gossip side to what had happened between him, Lorna and Izzie. She just didn't expect her to be in the same position.

"Eddie…"

"Just be honest with me, Rachel. For once this term."

"Yes."

"Yes?"

"Yes… I fancy you. Or, even worse at the moment, I love you. And out of everyone in this school, you choose her. You choose my sister. And I know I should have said something four weeks ago when you wanted to talk but I wasn't ready then. I am only ready now because I can see what I am missing. I… I thought you knew me better Eddie."

Her mind caught up with her mouth and she hadn't realised that she had stood up. The words she had just said went over in her mind and she wished that she could say something to make it all better.

"Yeah, you're right. You should have said something four weeks ago." Eddie said as he stormed out of her office.

Rachel turned to Tom for a little advice and he shook his head at her. Obviously going after him wasn't going to be a good option. She just now had to wait it out.

* * *

Rachel had only gone to the staffroom to have a word with Davina to see how she was getting on with her course. She had only started the conversation when Melissa entered the room, looking rather upset. There were two reasons that Rachel could come up with; someone had told her that they thought that Rachel had feelings for Eddie or Eddie had broken up with her.

"You. You haven't changed one bit." Melissa shouted.

"What is going on?" Rachel said as she walked over to her.

"Pretending to be the doting sister? How very you."

"Melissa…"

The slap surprised her. She held her cheek as she turned back to her sister.

"He didn't have to say who he broke up with me for. I'm not stupid Rachel. You have always been jealous of me. Did you think I was taking him away from you? Or did you just already know how perfect he was already? Did you already know how good he is in bed?"

"I think you need to calm down."

"Not denying it then."

"Eddie is and has always been a friend."

"Right?" Melissa said. "So he isn't the guy that you have been going on about? You know, the one that asked you out before the fire?"

She had thought about lying to her sister but as Eddie entered the staffroom, she knew that she had to be as honest with Melissa as she had been with him earlier.

"Yes, he was."

Melissa looked between them.

"Fine. I know where I am not wanted." She said as she started to walk towards the door.

"Melissa, can we talk about it?"

"No. Just don't expect me to come running the next time you do something stupid. And I'll let Philip know the reason he won't be seeing you any more."

She sighed as she watched her sister go. She knew what Eddie was going to say and with a look, he didn't. Rachel knew Melissa. It would be no different once she had calmed down. The worst part of it was that she might have lost Philip in the process of getting Eddie.

"Can we talk?"

"I suppose we should."


	21. Series 4 Episode 5

_Thank you for the reviews._

_Don't know why this happened but, maybe, it might have happened if Ralph didn't show up so soon..._

* * *

**Series 4 Episode 5**

"Oh, come on Mel, you're not saying you feel threatened by me?"

"I'm being paranoid, aren't I?"

"Yes."

If anything, it both amazed Rachel and worried her that Melissa had that thought. Rachel knew that she was slowly losing Eddie but she only had herself to blame. If she had spoken to Eddie properly, she was sure that he would have waited for her. Instead, he had started a relationship with Melissa and Rachel had to tell herself that she was happy for them because they were happy. She had blown her shot.

"Especially now you've got Ben. Is he the one?"

_No, he is not. _Rachel thought. The misunderstanding had really gone on for too long and she almost told Melissa that they had split up.

"Who knows?" She ended up saying before leaving her sister to it.

It was going to be a long day with Ralph being about. The less she had to deal with Eddie and Melissa, the better. The less she saw of them together, the better as well. But then she had to remind herself that it was her fault.

* * *

"Melissa tells me you and Ben are getting serious. Are there wedding bells in the air?"

"Oh, for goodness sake." She said as they entered her office before saying a quick hello to Joyce. "There's no wedding in the air or anywhere else for that matter."

"So, she's making it up then?"

"Do you want the truth?"

"Yeah."

"Okay. Melissa keeps… she keeps hounding me about my love life, so I let her believe Ben and I were together so she wouldn't try to fix me up. That was all it was about."

"Really?"

She liked how he sounded relieved. She was annoyed at her sister for talking about her to Eddie. It wasn't really for Melissa to stick her nose in. But it was a very Melissa thing to do.

"God knows how many times she has tried to set me up. She would have definitely sat me down during that speed dating if… if she thought that I didn't have someone."

"She just wants you to be happy Rach."

"I know. And I keep reminding myself that but… she just doesn't understand that if it is meant to be, then it will be. I'm not someone to rush into things… like she does."

It was the little knowing glance that Eddie gave her that reminded her of what she was missing after she pushed him away. Maybe he was finally understanding why she did what she did. Maybe he was finally realising her mistake.

"Can you continue to be honest with me? Does me and Melissa bother you?"

She started to shake her head, the accustomed answer she would give to that question. How could she answer that question honestly without breaking his heart again?

"I didn't… realise we would drift as much as we have. Eddie… First and foremost, you are my friend. Then you are my deputy. I need you just as much by my side as you are by Melissa's."

"You can't do it can you."

"Do what?"

"Be selfish."

"Sorry?"

"Just tell me that it is bothering you. Because it obviously is."

"Eddie…"

It was the worst place for it to happen but he closed the distance between them and cupped her face as he kissed her. Rachel willed herself not to kiss back but it was something she had dreamt about multiple times before the fire and their lips just seemed to mould into each other. Her hands went to his blazer and tried to pull him closer. It was better than her daydreams. Much better.

She refused to let go of his blazer as they parted. If she could convince herself that this was all a daydream, then the crushing realisation that Eddie had cheated on her sister with her wouldn't hit her.

The door to the antechamber opened and they jumped apart. The relief that it was only Ralph was only small but at least it wasn't Melissa. It would be just Rachel's luck that it would have been Melissa to walk through the door after she had kissed her boyfriend.

"Thought I'd bring it in myself so there is no confusion," Ralph said as he handed over the envelope.

With just one look at Eddie, she knew that they would be talking about what had just happened later.

* * *

Eddie knew that she was annoyed at him. Whether it was just because of what had been revealed about him being pro-drugs in his early twenties or the kiss earlier, he knew that he couldn't say anything right and he could kick himself when he asked her whether she had never done anything she regretted. He felt like a right idiot and he knew that Flick and Ralph being at her door wasn't going to improve her mood.

If anything, Eddie was slightly revealed by the revelation that Ralph had swapped the test results. It meant that Ralph wouldn't be on Rachel's back any more. Plus that Marley was the decent boy that she thought he was.

As soon as Ralph and Flick left, he knew he had to say something. Otherwise, Rachel would run from him before they had the chance to talk.

"About earlier?"

"Eddie."

"We have to talk about it, Rachel."

"I don't actually know what is worse."

"Sorry?"

"I am her sister. Admittingly, we don't have the best of relationships... We… I pretty much just tolerate her because I want to be in Philip's life and she is blind to everything that I am feeling. You… you are her boyfriend. I don't care that she hates me. I care if she hates you."

He watched her as she clasped her hands in front of her face and rested her head against her hands, closing her eyes in the process. The conflict in her was obvious.

"Why not tell me that it was bothering you?"

"Because you were happy. Because I had accepted my mistake."

"But shouldn't you be happy?"

"Maybe it is what I deserve."

"Rachel, you deserve all the happiness in the world."

"Really?"

"Of course."

She opened her eyes and looked at him. She looked like she might have stood up but instead, she leant back in her chair. Eddie didn't think he was quite ready for what she was going to say.

"So if I told you that night that there was something between us but I wasn't ready for it. That I knew how unready I was to come back. The fact… that I should have known it because I couldn't stop my hands from shaking or the way that I almost had a panic attack in the foyer or… how I wanted to enjoy the chants of one Miss Mason when I couldn't. Because I'd had so many bad dreams about returning that I couldn't let myself believe that the school actually wanted me."

"I don't think Melissa has been the only one that has been blind." He sighed. "I should know you better. I should have not pushed you the way I did that night. I should have expected the outcome that you gave. Rach…"

"What I should have stuck around? I keep replaying the words that you said over and over again. Still wonder whether you meant any of them."

He felt like a right idiot and winced slightly at her words. His thing with Melissa should have never got to the stage that it had done. His thing with Melissa should have been a drunken one night mistake, if it was anything at all. He should have known that Rachel needed time.

"Made your point. I've been an idiot." He said.

"I'm not saying that."

"No, but it is the truth."

"What happened earlier… should never have happened."

"So how is hiding your feelings going? Because… if you didn't have any for me, you wouldn't have kissed me back. You wouldn't be angry at me and yourself. She is going to work it out."

"And I said that she shouldn't feel threatened by me."

"Look, I've made things worse. Let me try and sort it."

"How are you going to sort this? Without putting both of us in the firing line."

"I'll sort it."

"Goodbye to any relationship I had with my sister." She said with a roll of her eyes.

"So is this you, finally admitting that you feel something for me?"

"I thought you had already made your mind up about that."

"Maybe I just need you to confirm it."

"Yes. I feel something or fancy you or whatever term you want to use."

"Then let me sort this. Okay? Because you aren't the only one to make a mistake."

He had this feeling that she was going to just leave it at that. So it surprised him when she stood up and placed herself in front of him. He hadn't expected her to repeat his earlier movements but he wasn't going to complain as Rachel kissed him. His arms wrapped around her waist and he couldn't help but feel like certain things happened for a reason. Because kissing Rachel Mason was nothing like kissing Melissa. Kissing Rachel Mason was so much more magical.


	22. Series 4 Episode 6

_Thank you for the reviews._

_More from each theme here... with Philip also getting involved (which might be another small theme)._

* * *

**Series 4 Episode 6**

Rachel knew her voice couldn't be heard. She knew that if someone else was by her side rather than Rob, his voice would be heard over all the shouting and cheering. It was very rare for her to actually lose her temper but she had been finding that it wouldn't take a lot more recently. Although, she couldn't deny the stupidness of the fight between Bolton and the other kid. She wanted to blame Rob for introducing boxing to the school but she knew that it was only partly to blame. She should really know the kids better. And of course, Donte Charles was in the middle of it all.

"I said stop this right now."

It was easy to tell the Waterloo Road students from the students from the other school. Something else that she would obviously have to sort out in the morning. All of her students looked worried and they had a reason to be.

She made her way down to where it was all happening to tell everyone what was going to happen and that her lot, at least, were in a lot of trouble.

Just she wished that someone else was by her side. The man that used to be there.

Maybe she should give the boxing a go. She could picture Eddie and Melissa kissing to get out some of her aggression.

* * *

Rachel couldn't believe it as he stood there, after she had sorted everything out, with not really much to say as to why he wasn't there.

"I got your message," Eddie said after he got out of his car.

The anger rose again. He wasn't with her because he was at the cinema with her sister. The shock over their relationship had turned to anger at herself and them. It is the only reason she snapped at him. Not that Eddie deserved to be snapped at.

"Did you sit through the final credits?" She said before she caught herself. "I'm sorry. I am sorry. I just needed you here earlier."

There were a few moments of calm as Eddie fell in step by her side and she felt like everything might be okay. That was until the anger rose in her once more as Donte opened his mouth.

"Miss, what's going to happen?"

There was no beating around the bush. She told Donte exactly what was going to happen. She could tell that Eddie was surprised by how angry she was. Something she knew he would mention later.

* * *

"Can you give me a lift to the school? I jumped in Rob's car and I don't particularly think that he would want me next to him. He probably thinks that I blame him for all this happening. And I don't think the kids would have wanted me on the coach," Rachel said.

"I don't think Philip particularly wants to be with you either," Eddie said.

"Well, I am a little disappointed in him. I get that it can't be easy having your auntie as the headteacher but I thought that he might stop something like this from happening."

"And have the whole school hate him for it?"

"Bolton could have been seriously hurt." She shouted.

"Rachel, are you okay?"

She reminded herself to take a deep breath. She could blame it on the stress of the day. It had been a trying day. But she didn't know much longer she could keep her true emotions from Eddie. Maybe it was time that she moved on. She could give the school to Eddie, knowing that it would be in safe hands, and she wouldn't have to deal with the fact that she had to watch him live in her sister's pocket. She could do what she did at 19. Leave to make everyone else happy.

"I'm fine."

"Sure?"

"Yes."

"Then why are you so angry?"

"Because I didn't realise that our kids were this stupid."

"No, you've been like this for weeks now."

"Have I now?"

"We used to spend so much time together and now it seems like I never have a moment alone with you."

"Well you have other responsibilities now, don't you?"

"What's that supposed to mean?"

She shook her head. "You know what? I'll order a taxi."

"Don't be stupid Rachel."

"I'm being stupid?"

"Yes. Why don't you just tell me what is wrong?"

"You want to know what is wrong."

"For God sakes Rachel. Of course, I do. I am your friend."

"You." She said.

"Sorry?"

"You. Melissa. Your whole stupid relationship. That's what's wrong."

It surprised her when he didn't say anything. His anger disappeared and she did regret opening her mouth and saying what she said. She could see that Philip was trying to make it look like he was doing anything but listening to their conversation. Which he obviously had done.

"But I…" He started.

"I lied."

"That is obvious."

"Eddie, what am I meant to do? You are happy. Melissa is happy. Philip has a father figure. What was I meant to do? Ruin all that? I have been many things in my life but I don't go about ruining other people's happiness."

"What about your own?"

"That doesn't come into the equation."

"It should."

She wrapped her arms around herself, to try and fight the feeling of vulnerability. It was an effect that Eddie had on her. Like he could read what she was thinking. She had told herself that he would never see her like that again.

"Rach."

"I made the mistake Eddie. And I don't expect to compete with her. I get it. She is younger. She is the prettier one. She isn't the worrier. She has way too much confidence. She… She has always been the more popular one. She has… Everyone chooses her. And I get it."

"You shouldn't stand for it."

"Why? Melissa has always got what she wanted. Why should that stop now?"

"So you would put her happiness before your own?"

"It is what I've been doing all my life."

"I really don't understand you, Rachel." He groaned in frustration. "That night, outside the pub. You told me that there was no us."

"Eddie, I shouldn't have even been in school that day. I went against the advice of my doctor and I can tell you that even Melissa tried to get me to take more time off. My hands shook as I got out of the car and I almost had a panic attack in the foyer. I shouldn't have been there and you… All you wanted to do was talk about us." She sighed. "I wasn't ready."

"Where is the woman that walked into that school and changed the whole curriculum on her first day?"

"She's gone. Don't you get it, Eddie? The person I was before the fire was someone that had built up her confidence over time. 20 bloody years it took me to find my own self-worth and get myself to a stage where I found like I belonged somewhere. And like that." She said as she clicked her fingers. "I am back to being the extremely vulnerable 19-year-old, wondering how I could build myself into the person that I have always wanted to be." She paused. "Don't worry. You aren't the only one that has been blind to it. Melissa is meant to be 'looking after me'"

"What do you want me to do?" He said after a moment of silence.

"Nothing."

"Sorry?"

"I'll… get onto the LEA in the morning. I'll give you an amazing reference so that you can finally put your stamp on the school. I'll be gone by the end of term and… I'll do what I do best and move on."

"So you aren't even going to fight?"

"I've already said I am not going to compete with Melissa."

Philip came back into her eye line and she could tell that he didn't really know how to take the argument between his auntie and his mother's boyfriend. The feeling of relief that she had from finally telling Eddie was replaced with the worry that she had made things complicated for her nephew.

"Get him home. I'll get a taxi." She said before she turned to walk towards the road.

She had to leave them or otherwise, she knew that the argument would continue. She half expected Eddie to follow her. She didn't expect Philip to run after her, overtaking her to stop her.

"Do you love him?"

"Philip, love…"

"Do you love Eddie?"

"There is no need for you to get involved."

"Rach, can you just answer the question? Be Mum for a change. Be selfish. Do you love Eddie?"

"Yes but…"

"No buts. Either you love him or you don't. Now I know I can't really talk but… I don't think him and Mum are going to last. What you and Eddie have… I think it will. You are right. He is a great father figure and Michael is great. But he will make you happy Rach. Someone should look after you, and as your favourite nephew, it seems like I will have to be that person."

"Philip, you are my only nephew."

"Doesn't mean I can't be your favourite. You are my favourite auntie. I want you to be happy. Eddie is right. You do deserve happiness." He sighed. "Just… let Eddie give you a lift back to school and talk to him. I think he is starting to see you again."

She almost refused. It wasn't until she reminded herself the last time she refused Eddie that she nodded at her nephew and followed him back to where Eddie was waiting. It was the small smile from Eddie that made her realise that it wasn't going to be easy. It was going to be extremely difficult and it was the beginning of a long road. A road that would, hopefully, end up with a romantic relationship with Eddie.


	23. Series 4 Episode 7

_Thank you for the reviews._

_Now, are you ready for me to make this episode better? Because trust me, it was torture to watch it._

* * *

**Series 4 Episode 7**

Rachel could only look on in horror as Eddie opened the box and turned more towards Melissa. Any thoughts she had about their relationship fizzling out were gone and she knew that she had blown her chance with Eddie. She hadn't imagined that it would get to this stage so quickly. Maybe she was a little glad that it wasn't some big romantic proposal. Short and sweet, like she hoped their relationship would be.

"I suppose, er… Yes or no?" Eddie said.

There was a part of her that hoped Melissa would turn him down. The selfish part of her that she had been pushing away over the last few weeks while she watched their relationship unfold.

The other part of her wanted Melissa to say yes. Because it was Eddie. It would obviously make him happy. That was all she wanted. Eddie to be happy.

"Of course I will, you big idiot," Melissa said she dropped onto her knees and kissed Eddie.

The shock took a little longer to wear off and as everyone else started to clap, Rachel knew that she had to join in. Plastering on a smile, she started to clap and tried to build up the happiness that she should have for her sister and deputy.

* * *

_We all had bets on that it would be you and Eddie that got it together._

Steph's words had played over in her mind as well as Philip's bombshell about Melissa still being married to his dad.

She hadn't said anything to Melissa yet and she wondered whether she should. She knew how her sister could be. The only thing was, it wouldn't be fair on Eddie not to say anything.

And she had been particularly harsh to him recently.

_We all had bets on that it would be you and Eddie that got it together._

Rachel placed her head in her hands. She needed a solution. The problem was the only one she could come up with was to leave. Leave Eddie and Melissa to their happiness. The only problem with that was the school was her only source of happiness at the moment.

How could she give up Waterloo Road for them?

But she couldn't do it anymore. There would be a time when she was around Eddie and Melissa and her smile would slip and it would just cause an argument.

_We all had bets on that it would be you and Eddie that got it together._

She couldn't turn to Steph and say that so did she. She didn't protest because she wished that yesterday, Eddie had proposed to her.

Out of everyone, why did he have to choose her? Why did he have to choose her perfect little sister?

_We all had bets on that it would be you and Eddie that got it together._

There was only one person that knocked on the door as sharply as someone just did and she looked up at Eddie with a sigh.

"What now?" She said, not really in the mood for anything that he had to say.

"The inspection next week? I thought you might want to talk about it."

"What can we talk about? All we know is that it is next week. We don't know what day it is."

"We still need to prepare for it."

"After yesterday, I think that no matter how much we prepare, there is going to be something that will happen that we wouldn't have thought of."

"Rachel… is everything okay?"

"I'm fine."

"It is about what happened yesterday. About me proposing?"

"No." She said before she tried to come up with the right words. "It was just a shock. I… didn't realise that things were that serious between you two."

"I did say I was deadly serious about Melissa."

Her heart broke a little more. It did whenever she was around Eddie. She could feel the tears that she hadn't allowed herself to shed build up again.

_We all had bets on that it would be you and Eddie that got it together._

"Actually. You are right. I can't do this anymore."

"Can't do what?"

"Watch as… as you and Melissa build a life together."

"Rachel…"

"Just don't Eddie."

"Well excuse me for wanting an explanation!"

"An explanation." She said as she stood up. "You deserve an explanation. I… I just can't give it to you."

"Why not?"

"Because you wouldn't like it."

"Rachel."

"Just leave it, Eddie."

She walked out of her office and, sure enough, he followed her. It made her glad that the corridors were empty. No stragglers about. Because the head and deputy having a full-blown argument wasn't what the school needed and it wasn't what the pupils needed to see.

_We all had bets on that it would be you and Eddie that got it together._

"Rachel!"

"Just leave it, Eddie."

He grabbed her arm and turned her towards him. She almost lost her balance and fell against his chest. She looked up at him, not being able to remember the last time they were that close. She knew he had drifted away from her. It was clear to see.

"Talk to me." He said.

"I can't do it, Eddie. I… I can't pretend to be happy for you anymore."

"Why?"

She pushed herself away from him. "Because out of everyone… Everyone in the school or Rochdale or… You choose her. You choose Melissa. And what… you've known her for six or so weeks and you get down on one knee and propose. And I get it, Eddie. I get why you chose her. I just… I only have myself to blame."

She wiped away the tears and took a step back as he tried to take a step towards her. He couldn't get close to comfort her or otherwise she would allow herself the luxury of believing that he still cared about her in the way that he did before the fire. She couldn't allow herself to believe that. That ship sailed when she pushed him away.

_We all had bets on that it would be you and Eddie that got it together._

"Rachel, you aren't making any sense."

"Typical man."

"You said that there was no us."

"Dear God Eddie. I know you are a maths teacher but… I just thought you knew me better. Before the fire you did. Before the fire, I thought you could tell exactly what I was thinking. Clear now that you've lost that."

"Because you keep pushing me out."

"I know! Which is why I only have myself to blame. You can blame me as well." She paused. "Don't worry. By the start of the next term, you won't have to worry. You can finally put your stamp on the place."

She left him standing dazed. She had to. She couldn't allow her heart to break any more.

_We all had bets on that it would be you and Eddie that got it together._

_So did I, Steph. So did I._

* * *

Eddie honestly didn't know what to do. He had spent the rest of his day in his classroom, trying to think of a way to sort out the mess. He had finally realised everything that Rachel had told him and the last thing he was going to allow her to do was to leave Waterloo Road. Not when he had tried so hard to save her job.

He thought about spreading it around the school and seeing what the other staff members or the students would do to try and stop it from happening, but he realised that it was probably up to him to change her mind.

Not that he knew how he was going to do that.

He stopped pacing his classroom and pulled open the door to make the short distance to her office. He knew she was in there. Because she was trying to avoid him as well. He didn't even knock as he walked into her office and shut the door behind him.

"Don't go."

"Eddie."

"I don't want you to go."

Rachel looked up at him. "Because that is going to change my mind."

"You didn't want me to go."

"This is different."

"Why… Why didn't you just tell me, Rachel? I would have let her down gently. We could have waited a bit. Sorted this out."

"Eddie, just forget I said anything."

"I can't Rach. How long have you felt like this?"

"Since Melissa told me that you were seeing each other. The truth is… I hoped it would fizzle out. That once the honeymoon period was over… it would be over."

"So when you congratulated me?"

"It was through gritted teeth." She paused. "I… I do want you to be happy Eddie."

"What about yourself?"

He watched her as she thought over his question. He added selflessness to the list of reasons why he loved her. Not that it wasn't already on the list. It just needed to be there twice. She was the most selfless person he knew.

"That doesn't matter."

"It does. I want you to be happy. I want to see you smile again."

"Eddie…"

"I mean it, Rachel."

"It's not going to change anything."

"Isn't it?"

"What you propose to Melissa and then the next day you break up with her? I'll get the blame for it."

He walked over to her and spun her chair towards him. He offered her his hands, which he was glad that she took. He pulled her up, making sure that she fell against his chest properly this time and before she could even argue, he kissed her. Rather than allowing her to tell him any more lies, he knew what her true feelings were when she kissed him back. If she was so adamant that this wasn't what she wanted, she would have fought him and pushed him away. But she didn't.

There were a few moments where she was in a daze before everything caught up with her. She tried to push him away but he wasn't going to allow it.

"I don't care what you say, Mason. You wouldn't have kissed me back if you didn't feel anything for me."

"And you are engaged to my sister."

"Let me sort that. Planning a wedding can be a stressful time."

"Eddie…"

"Let me sort it. I am the idiot."

"I don't think you can take all the glory."

"Maybe not. But you can't deny how right this is. Between us."

"Just think what could have happened if we had that drink."

"Maybe I would have proposed to you yesterday."

"Maybe." She said before she kissed him again.


	24. Series 4 Episode 8

_Thank you for the reviews._

_Previewed this on twitter. In short, this becomes episode 10, just two episodes early..._

* * *

**Series 4 Episode 8**

The words Rachel said to Melissa felt bitter in her mouth. This was just another wedge in their already fragile relationship. All Rachel had to do was get through the next few months and then she could move on and leave her sister to be happy with Eddie.

_I think you three, you can be really happy together, can't you?_

Someone was going to see through her lies eventually. Someone was going to notice that her smile wasn't as genuine as it was.

She just didn't expect that person to be Philip.

"Mum said that she has smoothed things over with you."

"Yeah, I just… I wished that she could have come to me with this."

Rachel had got to know her nephew rather well. Melissa did seem not to see him as the nervous boy that he was. He had definitely not inherited Melissa's natural confidence. More like Rachel in that respect.

There was something definitely still on his mind and she got the feeling that he wasn't going to tell her unless she asked. Like she would do.

"Philip? Is everything okay?"

"Mum keeps… She keeps saying that you are happy for her. Are you?"

"Philip."

"Just… it was a comment made the other day."

"What comment?"

"Someone was surprised that Eddie was marrying Mum, because they thought that he was crazy for you. Apparently, he tried to go back inside during the fire, to try and find you."

"Well, that is just Eddie."

"So?"

"So what?"

"Are you happy for Mum and Eddie?"

"Philip… Yes, I am."

He rolled her eyes at her. "How you two are sisters I will never know?"

"What?"

"She… she keeps telling me that we can't tell Eddie because… it will ruin her life. Rach, she is… so selfish. You can't lie to me. Mum might be blind to it but I'm not."

"Philip, I don't need you getting involved."

"Do you love him?"

"Philip. Please."

"I'm glad I am more like you. I wouldn't want to be like Mum, a selfish bitch."

"Philip! You do not talk about your mother like that."

"It's true. She isn't just still married to my dad. She is also married to someone else as well."

"Phil… I'm sorry. What?"

There was a look on his face that he hadn't meant to say that but she could tell that he had visibly relaxed. It was something that she had noticed since Eddie and Melissa's engagement was announced. It had played on his mind that much.

"Rach, you can't say anything. I… I wasn't supposed to say anything and… after last time… she will hate me for saying it. Please, Rach."

"I'm guessing that this means she has no intentions of telling Eddie."

Philip shook his head. "She says that he won't stick around. Which is what Dad did when he found out."

"What am I going to do with my little sister?" Rachel whispered before she sighed.

"Rach…"

"Leave it with me, Philip. And I'll try and keep you out of the firing line."

* * *

Rachel felt like she was dragging Melissa towards Eddie's classroom. She hadn't said why but she could assume that Melissa thought it was about what they had spoken about that morning. She knew that Eddie wasn't teaching. She had memorised his timetable, mainly so she knew when she could go and watch him teaching.

"Just tell him, Melissa." She said as they entered the classroom.

"Tell me what?" Eddie said.

Rachel looked at her sister, realising her reluctance.

"Fine. Hope you weren't planning on getting married any time soon Eddie. Melissa is waiting for her divorce from Philip's dad."

Eddie let out a sigh of relief. "I thought that was going to be something worse than that."

Rachel shot a look at Melissa, telling her that it wasn't that difficult and that Eddie would understand.

"I mean, you've already applied for it. So it shouldn't take too long, should it?"

It was the way Melissa glared at her that proved that Philip was completely and utterly right. Rachel had no idea why Melissa was with Eddie or why she agreed to marry him. Not that she wanted to call her sister what her nephew called her but it was the only words that came to mind.

_Selfish bitch._

"What is going on?" Eddie asked.

"Enjoying this are you?" Melissa said.

"Just proving that you could have told him and he would be okay with it. Rather than upsetting Philip. The poor boy looks like he is constantly on edge and then you berate him for telling me. Eddie's been married. Eddie is now divorced. If anything, he would understand."

"Oh yes. Poor Philip."

"I'll leave you two to chat, shall I?" Rachel said as she made her way to the door.

"You always have been a rubbish liar Rachel. How you ever kept up the perfect Rachel Mason persona for so long I will never know?" Melissa waited for her to turn to her before she continued. "Truth hurts doesn't it Mandy? You always get caught out in the end."

"This isn't about me."

"Don't think that I didn't miss Steph's comment. 'We all had bets on that it would be you and Eddie that got it together'. Nor did I miss her other comment of you not protesting too much. Still get jealous then do we? Because you have always been jealous of me."

Rachel could sense Eddie's eyes on her. If anything, she could sense that he was uncomfortable about the conversation that was unfolding.

"I think I'll leave you two to it." He said as he stood up.

"At least he can lie properly," Melissa said. "How many times has she told you that she was happy for us Eddie? Every time she has put on the Fenshaw smile? You forget I know that smile, Rach. Or would you like me to stop calling you Rach? Because that is his thing."

"Rachel?"

She moved more into the room as the bell sounded for the end of the day, keeping more of a distance between her and them. This was not how she expected the conversation to go.

"Fine. I might not have changed a lot since we were kids, but you aren't the 'new and improved' Melissa that you said you were at the beginning of term. Didn't take you long to fall back into your old ways?"

"Blame me."

"That is the problem, Melissa. I have never blamed you. Never once. I always blame myself."

"So you should."

Rachel shot a look at Eddie not to defend her. It wouldn't help with what Melissa was implying.

"How long?" Melissa said.

"Sorry?" Eddie said.

"Both of you. How long have you loved each other?"

Rachel knew that the glance between them wasn't going to help them at all. It would only fuel Melissa's own jealousy.

"He is the guy that I was telling you about," Rachel said.

"The one that asked you out on a date before the fire?"

She swallowed. "I saw it as a date."

"Eddie?"

"There was another reason as to why Rachel's past bothered me so much, other than the reputation of the school."

"Great! And when were you both going to tell me this?" Melissa looked between them. "Right you weren't. Was I just meant to wait until I found you two in bed together?"

"Melissa…" Rachel started.

"Because it isn't like you haven't done that before. Oh sorry. He forced you into our bed. Forgot that point."

"Forgot I can't have an adult conversation for you." She muttered.

An uncomfortable silence fell between them. Rachel wished that Eddie would stop looking over at her. It wasn't going to help either of them when Melissa finally kicked off about everything. She knew what her sister was going to say. And as much as Rachel wanted this not to be about her. It was going to be. Because she was going to ask Eddie to choose.

"Me or Rachel?" Melissa said.

Rachel's phone started to ring and as she saw Steph's name flash up, she couldn't help but think why she would be calling as she accepted the call and the blood must have run out of her face. Because both Eddie and Melissa were looking at her, worried.

"This can be finished later." Rachel said as she turned to them.

"Why?" Melissa said, the worry replaced with anger.

"Earl has just killed Maxine."

Eddie jumped straight to it, grabbing his coat and keys, telling them that he would drive them to Steph's. It was the version of Eddie she hadn't realised that she had missed and part of her hoped, that when they resumed this conversation, he would pick her.


	25. Series 4 Episode 9

_Thank you for the reviews._

_Previewed this one as well... I mean, with this episode, it does seem at points that Eddie just accepts that Rachel is going to resign and pack up her teaching career. I don't think that he would have accepted it. I do think that he would have fought her a lot harder. Or, like this, given her a taste of her own medicine._

* * *

**Series 4 Episode 9**

"Eddie, what are you doing about this?" Tom said as he walked up to him.

Eddie only sighed as he realised that the paper in Tom's hand was the memo about Rachel leaving. The problem was that Eddie knew how stubborn she could be. The fact that she had been given more time but was set on leaving made him believe that he couldn't change her mind. Unless he gave her a taste of her own medicine.

"I've already tried to talk her out of it."

"Well try harder. We can't have her leaving."

"I know Tom."

"What are you two talking about?" Melissa said as she joined them.

"Rachel. She can't leave." Tom said. "Can't you talk to her being her sister and all that?"

"She seems to have made up her mind."

"So had I once upon a time. Tom, you remember the day when Mika was up a tree." Eddie said.

"How could I forget?"

"She spent the whole day trying to show me what she thought I would miss from Waterloo Road. I mean, she did have like three months to change my mind and I've only got today but… I think it could still work."

"How do you plan on doing that then?"

"Make it seem like I am going to start taking over from today. Let all the staff know. Anything they would usually go to Rachel for, they come to me about. Might work."

"Eddie, is this really a good idea?" Melissa said.

"Mel, this school is all Rachel's vision and drive. Waterloo Road is Rachel Mason as she is Waterloo Road. Her name belongs on that door. I've done it once. I can do it again."

"I just think convincing her is going to be a little harder than convincing the governors."

"Trust me. Tom, I'll catch up with you later."

Eddie left them to it, knowing that he had to put in motion his plan.

* * *

"It'd be weird to see my name up here instead of yours," Eddie said as he leant against the door frame.

"So you are going to go for it?"

"Just thinking of the kids. As little change as possible would be better for them."

"I'm glad."

"Look, this whole thing with Bolton." He said as he walked into the room. "Why don't you let me deal with it? I mean, me and Paul have always had an understanding. Might take a bit longer than five hours to sort."

"No, I've…"

"Rachel, maybe you've done all you can with Bolton. Let me try."

He could tell that she was reluctant but she did nod at him.

"Maybe you're right. I just didn't expect him to come full circle."

"Don't worry. I'll sort it."

* * *

Eddie could only smile at the extremely annoyed Rachel Mason coming his way. Her annoyance matched his on the day that she tried to convince him to stay and he felt like his little plan was working. Either that or it was about to blow up in his face.

"I am still the head of the school Eddie." She almost shouted at him.

"I don't know what you mean."

"Very funny. I know exactly what you are trying to do and just because it worked on you, doesn't mean it will work on me."

"Are you sure?"

"Positive."

"So your whole teaching career is going into a plastic box? Rachel, I fought for you to keep your name on the door. I am not about to let you walk away from the career that you were obviously born to do."

"You are infuriating."

"Good. Because, as I told Ralph, this is your school. Not mine."

"Maybe you will just have to get used to that thought." She said as she started to walk away from him.

"What about the kids? Hey?" He said as he followed her. "I bet if I passed it around the student body, they would quickly make a stand. They did for Jack and you are more worthy of a student protest than what he was."

"Because that will make things better."

"Jack had a kid die on his watch as well. Donte and Chlo were responsible for the death of Adam Deardon. Izzie Redpath was murdered in the car park."

"That doesn't matter."

"All I am saying is, you are not to blame for Maxine's death. Whether you threw Earl out or not. It could have still led to the same outcome."

"Could. Eddie. Could have. Why shouldn't I be allowed to fall on my sword when I make a mistake?"

"Rachel…"

"Eddie." She said as she turned to him, putting a stop to both their movements. "This isn't a decision that I have come up with for the last week. I've been thinking it for a while. Maxine's death has just highlighted it. I… I don't trust my own decisions. Maybe… Maybe you shouldn't have fought Ralph for my job."

"What do you mean?"

"Ever since the fire, I have been making stupid decisions. First the Kellys then Melissa and worst of all you."

"Me?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

The question stopped her, like she hadn't realised that she had said it. Or maybe she just didn't want to say, or confirm to him, what her stupid decision was over him. He could guess but he did want her to say it.

"Just forget it, Eddie." She said as she turned from him.

He grabbed her arm to turn her back. "You can't say something like that and then just tell me to forget it."

"I can."

"What stupid decision did you make over me?"

He could guess her next words, but he didn't expect her to leant forward and kiss him. By the time he felt like he could react, she had pulled away and put a couple of paces between them. She was visibly upset and all he wanted to do was comfort her.

"See. Another bloody stupid decision."

He let her go, not really knowing what else to do.

* * *

"Mate, you need to find Melissa and fast," Tom said.

"Why?"

"I know Steph really isn't gossip central at the moment, but the rumour is that you and Rachel kissed."

Eddie felt like Tom was going to say more until he had made it obvious that was more than just a rumour.

"You are joking me right?"

"Where is Rachel?"

"Haven't you heard? Paul confessed to her that him and Bolton knew about the first gun. They've gone to try and see if they can get Denzil out."

"Right. Why didn't she tell me?"

"In all honesty, I don't think that is what you should be focusing on. You need to find Melissa."

"And say what Tom?"

It was just the way that Tom hesitated that made him think that this wasn't going to be okay. Eddie had seen part of the sisterly rivalry between them. He just didn't think that he would be in the middle of them.

"You better think of something quickly," Tom said as he nodded his head down the corridor. "I would say good luck but I know it isn't going to be easy. At least Lorna and Izzie weren't sisters."

Eddie turned to see Melissa walking towards him and he realised that he had equally made a stupid decision.

* * *

"Happy now?" Melissa said as Rachel entered her office.

"I'm sorry."

"You. You have always had it in for me. Can't stand it can you? The fact that I could, for once, actually be happy."

"Melissa…"

"I know you kissed Eddie."

"Melissa…"

"Don't bother trying to explain yourself. I've just had to deal with the lies that Eddie has fed me. I thought you actually meant it this time, when you said that you wanted us to actually be sisters. I thought I was getting my sister back. You've always been jealous of me. This just proves it."

Rachel didn't stop her as she stormed out of her office.

"I hope she is bloody worth it." She heard Melissa say before the door slammed closed of the antechamber.

There was only one person that she would have said it to and before she turned to him, she walked over and placed her bag on her desk. The day had been challenging enough without having to deal with all this as well.

"I'm sorry." She said as she turned to Eddie.

"You have nothing to apologise for."

"Sure?"

"You aren't the only one that has made stupid mistakes this term. I could give you a list. Like… I shouldn't have pushed you on the first day back."

"I shouldn't have pushed you away."

"I shouldn't have started dating Melissa."

"I shouldn't have said that I was okay with it."

"We could do this all night." He looked at her properly. "Just… stay Rachel. I… don't want my name on the door. I want yours."

"I'll stop you from wasting your breath. Bolton… I made a deal with Bolton and I am staying."

"Right." He cleared his throat. "Well, that is cause for celebration."

"I think we need to talk."

"Can't we celebrate and talk at the same time?"

"I suppose we can."

His smile made her smile. Part of her felt like she could put the last few weeks behind her but she knew that there was going to be a lot of agro regarding Eddie's obvious split from Melissa. But at least she felt like she could have her chance with Eddie. And that was worth staying at Waterloo Road for.


	26. Series 4 Episode 10

_Thank you for the reviews._

_Now, this isn't really a change. More of me delving into their thoughts and feelings and __I suppose... this chapter kinda mirrors chapter 18 (Series 4 Episode 2)... only just seen it now._

* * *

**Series 4 Episode 10**

Rachel couldn't stand it. She couldn't believe what had just happened. The argument that had erupted between her, Melissa and Eddie was still playing in her head. The one thing Melissa was right about was it was all out in the open now.

_It's me or her._

As much as Rachel wanted Eddie to choose her, she knew that he had to choose Melissa. As much as it broke her heart, that was the right choice for him. And as much as Melissa had lied and deceived them, she was still the one that he had chosen to begin with. He couldn't wait for her to be ready, so he chose the next best option.

Although, she did sort of tell him that there was no them at the beginning of term.

Rachel made her way as quickly to her office so she could and grabbed her jacket and bag. She could come back over the holidays to finish off the paperwork. Or she could even finish it when she got back at the start of next term. It wouldn't hurt.

What hurt her was the fact that all of this could have been avoided. It could have been avoided if she had been a little more honest with Eddie, rather than just turning him down. It could have been avoided if Melissa had come to her with her bigamy. Her and Eddie could still have been heading to the Caribbean.

Right pair of sisters they were. Always ignoring their problems. Just like their mum.

There was only one destination for her now. To get to her car as quickly as she could and get home. She could spend the holidays talking it out to Philip. He would probably tell her off for being the cause of his mum and Eddie getting close but she could take that from her nephew who knew her better than her sister.

Poor Philip. Having to carry around his mother's secret.

It was what Rachel was most angry about. She could see why Melissa wanted to keep it quiet but to silence her own son who just didn't want her to get into trouble, Rachel didn't quite think that she could forgive Melissa for that.

She got the keys to her car out of her pocket. She just wanted to put the day behind her. It had been a bad day all round. She knew that there was a bottle of wine waiting for her when she got home. It was definitely needed.

She threw her bags in the boot before she made her way around to the drivers' door. It was only then that she heard his voice.

"Rachel!"

She turned to see Eddie standing there.

He hadn't chosen her, had he?

* * *

Before the words even left Melissa's mouth, Eddie knew what she was going to say. Before she had even said the words, he knew who he had chosen. For him, there was no contest. There was the sister that was about to marry to him, making him an accessory to her bigamy, or there was the sister who continued to amaze him every day with her strength and kindness.

"It's me or her."

He knew Rachel was going to leave, the question or statement gave her the opportunity to leave the situation he could tell that she wanted to leave for a while. He waited until he couldn't hear her footsteps any more before he spoke.

"I can't believe you."

Melissa started to laugh. "You know, everyone has always prefered Rachel to me. The older sister. The more responsible one. The only time I got any of that attention was when she decided to pimp herself out. She says that she did it for me. So that I could have everything I wanted and more. So that we could eat and have a roof over our head. She could have done that without doing what she did."

"So you are jealous of her?"

"I was left to pick up the pieces. Mum thought it was best if I went to live with my grandparents, to try and shield me from the backlash that Rachel brought back. I still felt it. I was blackmarked by the rest of the family and it obviously got about. Nice when people see you sister in the newspaper and then start putting two and two together. 'Melissa, your surname is Fenshaw. Any relation to Amanda Fenshaw?' All the boys asking whether I was the same and how much I charged. She got to run off, start a new life. Turned up years later as Rachel Mason rather than Amanda Fenshaw. A teacher rather than a hooker."

"She did what she thought she had to do at the time. You could have helped."

"I was 14 when she was arrested, Eddie. How much was I meant to have helped out?"

"I know plenty of our kids that are doing paper rounds in year 7."

"You have, haven't you? You've chosen _her_."

"How long have you known?"

"That you loved _her. _When you couldn't tell her about us. When you asked if I could do it sensitively, because she was still vulnerable. When I said she had her wrapped around her little finger, I meant it. You would do her bidding without a second thought."

He knew the question would come soon as to why he started dating her. He couldn't allow it to get there and he was realising that he was running out of time to say to Rachel what his choice was. There was no point arguing with Melissa. Their relationship was over.

Without a second thought, he started jogging down the corridors, only just hearing the door to the front of the school closing. He had almost left it too late. He pushed open the door to see her opening the door to her car. She hadn't gone just yet.

"Rachel!" He shouted.

She looked shocked as she turned to him, like she didn't believe that he would choose her. He made his way down the steps and to her. There was only one thing that he could think of doing to make her believe that this was his choice. That he chose her.

He felt like she was going to say his name but, before she could, he cupped her face and kissed her. The shock of the movement was still there but she relaxed into it, grabbing his jacket. His hands made their way down her body while hers made their way up his. Having Rachel Mason in his arms and kissing her was better than he could have ever imagined.

He didn't want to pull back when he did but he felt like it was the right time to end the kiss.

"I think we have a lot to talk about." He said.

"I think we do."

* * *

There was a crazy part of her that thought that Eddie might have chosen her. She was the fun one. She was the carefree one. But Melissa let Eddie go when he left her. She had to. She had told him to choose and he had done.

He just hadn't chosen her.

Melissa didn't really know what to do with herself and as she made her way towards the exit, she saw them. Her heart broke as she watched them kissing, not really believing that Eddie could move on that quickly.

But then it hit her.

He had never loved her because she wasn't her. He just loved her because he couldn't have Rachel. Because she was the next best thing. The determination and stubbornness was the only thing they had in common. Is that what Eddie saw? Is that why he started the relationship with her?

Her hand went to her stomach. Something else she was going to tell him about. Something that might have swayed his decision.

Maybe his thing with Rachel would be short-lived. Maybe, if she took some time away to get herself back together, they might be sick of each other. Maybe, when she came back, he would choose her. And their baby.

Maybe. Just maybe.


	27. Series 4 Episode 20

_Thank you for the reviews._

_Originally, when I started this fic, I had only planned to go to Series 4 Episode 10... Let's just say that I wanted to have a little more fun and just more ideas came. That is why you are getting this episode. I also felt like there wasn't really a lot I could change from episode 11-19. Mainly because we had everything that we sort of wanted._

* * *

**Series 4 Episode 20**

She had them. He had her.

She had the school. He had the baby.

Her heart was broken. His was too.

He had told her that he loved her. She had said it back.

Why did they have to say it then? Why did that have to be the first time? Why? Why? Why?

It was the question that Rachel had been asking herself since she saw Melissa and it was a question that she knew she would ask herself over the summer before she could throw herself back into her work.

It was going to be a long six weeks.

She could feel her lips start to tremble again as she made her way to her office. Her safe haven for the moment.

She had given her house keys to Philip for him to get his stuff and told him to take Eddie with him to get any of his stuff that was lying around the house. She needed to go back to a house that didn't have anything that reminded her of what she had just thrown away.

But the house would be empty, where she had got used to having two companions to keep her company. The silence would remind her of what she had given up.

She could hear him come after her. She had expected him not to let her give up what they had so easily. It was another reason why she loved him. Because he was always there for her.

_You're my first responsibility._

If only that could be true.

"Rachel!"

Why couldn't he just leave it?

"Rachel!"

Why did he have to come after her?

"Rachel!"

Why did she have to fall in love with him?

"Rachel!"

The shouts were getting closer and closer and she knew that even if she upped her pace, he would reach her before she had the chance to get to her office. She didn't know whether slamming the door on him would help her out, but she couldn't do it.

She couldn't do the arguments with her sister. She couldn't do the fact that Melissa and Eddie would have to be close again. She couldn't do the fact that the baby, her niece or nephew, was his. She couldn't. She couldn't be a good auntie to the child if she was with their father.

She couldn't do it.

Because it was the next step that she wanted to take with Eddie herself. Because it was what she wanted for them. Because she had started to plan out her life with Eddie. Because she couldn't see herself with anyone else other than Eddie.

"Rachel."

His voice was softer as he finally caught up with her and grabbed her arm to stop her from walking away from him. He turned her to him and she couldn't deny that she could equally see the love that he held for her while the heartbreak was there.

"We need to talk about this properly."

"Eddie…"

"No. Look what happened the last time you made a decision that you thought was the best for both of us."

"Do you not think I know that?" She said as she pulled her arm out of his grip. "It's fine Eddie. Blame me. I blame myself."

"I… I don't blame you. I just think that this isn't the only way."

"What other way is there? Eddie… you don't… you don't know Melissa like I do." She tried to stop her lips from trembling. "Either way. It was going to end up like this."

"I don't want it to."

"With Melissa, usually what you want isn't in the equation."

"She has gone to the police."

"First responsible thing she has ever done."

"But think Rachel. If she does go to prison, she will have the baby in prison. I've… I've looked it up. There are no prisons in Manchester that have mother and baby units. Maybe because I will be on the scene, she might be able to hand him or her over to me but still… I… I'm going to need help and… Philip's been through enough without having to help look after his sibling."

"Oh yeah. Because that would make everything right. Melissa comes out of prison to us playing happy families. Her child having more of an attachment to me than her." She paused. "Eddie… I've fallen out with Melissa many times. I… don't care what she thinks of me. And I might have brought you and Micheal back together but I am not… I am not allowing you to waste this opportunity."

"But you would throw away what we have."

"You… don't understand."

"What?"

"Everything with Melissa. I… I now want the spontaneous proposal and I want a baby and a family and I was starting to see it all happen with you and Eddie, I don't just love you but on occasions, I need you and this… This reminds me why I shouldn't dream. It reminds me that I can't have what I want."

He cupped her face and she wished that his touch didn't give her the comfort that she was craving for. It wouldn't help when she had to push him away again.

"You deserve all that and more, Rachel. You deserve to be happy."

"Life doesn't work like that, does it?"

She grabbed onto his blazer and there was a moment, in the silence, where she could make herself believe that this was just a bad dream. That she was going to wake up any moment to Eddie's gently snoring next to her, still away in the land of nod.

"Can I give you them?" She whispered.

"Give me what?"

"I love you. I want to give you my I love you. Because I don't want to say it to anyone else. Because no one else is going to deserve those words coming from me. Those words are now yours. Forever."

"I'll only take it, if you will allow me to give you mine."

She thought that their last kiss would be as she got on the coach but she allowed herself to believe that there might be more. The slow kiss told her everything that she needed to know from him and it made her think that this could be fixed. That it didn't have to end that way.

"Let's go and find Melissa and talk about this. Please, Rach."

She nodded at him. Maybe things would be okay. Maybe they could work through it. Maybe she could still have the life with Eddie that she wanted.

Only time would tell about what the future had in store for them.

She just hoped hers was with Eddie.


	28. Series 5 Episode 7

_Thank you for the reviews._

_Now here is where I have had some real fun. Creating 4 little AU series 5 situations where Eddie comes back into Rachel's life. You can thank me later. Plus you are in for a real treat with some rather long chapters._

_I know what I said. Sometimes names stick. And trust me. Eddie and Melissa's child was almost a girl called Sophie. I just didn't fit for this story... for some reason. So for a little change in that aspect._

_But mainly big changes all around._

* * *

**Series 5 Episode 7**

"Don't play the victim, Rachel. It doesn't suit you."

She couldn't shut the door quick enough after Max moved and she twisted the key in the lock to give her another line of defence against him. She really didn't know how much longer she could do this for and the way that he had her up against the wall sent her back to a time when someone else had backed her in a corner. At least with Stuart she had a little bit more fight in her. With Max, she felt like she was fighting a losing battle.

With the prospect that he might come back and that she didn't really want to be alone with her thoughts, she grabbed her phone and called the only person she could rely on. She hoped that he would pick up but he didn't.

"_This is Philip Ryan. Please leave me a message. Or text me. That might be a better option."_

She didn't leave her a message but she searched her phone, looking for a name that would bring her some comfort. It was the only reason she could come up with as to why she automatically pressed his name.

There was always a hope that he might not pick up but after the third ring, he did.

"_Rachel?"_

The concern in his voice was what struck her first. Secondly, it was his voice. This was the last number she should have called.

"Eddie… I… I'm sorry. I… I shouldn't have called."

"_Rachel? What's happened?"_

"Nothing's happened."

"_I don't think you would have called me if nothing has happened."_

"Eddie…"

"_Rach, I know we haven't seen each other in months. But… I do still care about you. What's happened?"_

"I need you."

"_Give me five minutes and I'll be straight over."_

"Eddie." She said before she paused. "When you get here… make sure I can see you from the window by the front door."

"_Will do. I'll be there soon."_

"Okay." She whispered as he hung up.

Eddie Lawson was the last person she should have called but yet, she had. And now he was coming over.

* * *

The idea that Eddie was coming round went from being the one of the worst ideas that Rachel had ever had to being the worst idea Rachel had ever had. It took her a few moments to actually go to the door and when he was standing in the window, like she asked him to, she could feel her nerve leave her.

This was a bad idea and a disaster waiting to happen.

Yet she opened the door and let him in, closing and locking it behind him.

"Sorry." She said.

"No need to apologise. You sounded really shaken up on the phone."

"I tried to call Philip."

"He is out with Ros."

"Ros. She is a lovely girl."

"I think she is waiting for Philip to make his move."

"I think she would have to stand there with a sign above her head saying 'kiss me'. And even then he wouldn't get the hint."

"Not like Melissa in that respect."

"Definitely not. Never met his father so… I don't know whether he gets it off him."

"Maybe it is his auntie that he gets it off of."

"Maybe." She sighed. "But at least they are getting on."

"Rach, tell me what is going on?"

She felt her lips tremble as she started to come up with the words to tell him. She wrapped her dressing gown around her, regretting not going to get changed.

"Should you… you know?"

"In the dog house. Which, if she finds out about this, I doubt I will be seeing Charlie for a while."

"Charlie?"

"Your new nephew. Should have guessed that Philip wouldn't have said anything. Charles James Lawson. Melissa was very particular that he was definitely a Lawson."

"You should be used to being in the dog house."

"I know. Just… I know what you gave up for me to have this chance and… I want to be a father to Charlie. She just doesn't give me the chance. I don't think she ever understood." He sighed. "Now are you going to tell me the reason why you called me or are we just going to stand in the hallway and exchange pleasantries?"

It was then, as Rachel relaxed, that she realised that her bad idea might not have been as bad as she first thought. If anything, she would get someone else's opinion on matters.

* * *

"You know, for the first time in a long time, I am actually dreading going to school." Rachel said as Eddie pulled up a distance away from the school.

"I don't blame you."

"I don't need you steamrolling in. I'm sure Christopher will ask me about it."

"Christopher?"

"The new deputy."

"The?"

"Sorry?"

"You used to say that I was your deputy."

"Yeah, well when I don't feel like the head of the school anymore it is a little harder to think of Christopher as just the deputy of the school."

"Or I am just the only deputy you have ever wanted or needed."

She glanced over at him before she smiled. "Not going to work Lawson."

"Come on. I can't be in the dog house with both of you."

"You need to be the one to tell her."

"She is your sister."

"Who I haven't seen since she turned up five months pregnant."

"Why did I think that line would work on you?"

"Is that why Melissa told me about you two?"

"She thought that you had me wrapped around your little finger. Just because I told her to do it sensitively."

"You need to do this Eddie. And then we will pick the pieces up again. But right now, I have got a management meeting from hell."

"Well you battle Max, I'll take on Melissa." He paused. "Rachel, might it be worth telling Tom. You know he has always been trustworthy."

"Maybe. I'll see you later."

"You will."

"And you better get out of here before anyone sees you. You know what the rumour mill is like here."

"Yes, Miss."

She flashed him a smile before she got out of his car and ready herself for the day ahead.

* * *

Telling Chris was a good thing. He was practically asking her anyway. And Tom joining the conversation wasn't a bad shout either.

"I knew that Max had a temper but… Are you okay?" Chris said.

"What's going on?" Tom asked.

"Max went around her house and pushed her."

"Look, I don't particularly want to be alone in a room with him and it has shaken me. But…" Rachel said before Chris interrupted her.

"Well, you won't be. Not till I've put him straight about a few things, anyway."

"Chris. I don't want you to get involved. I don't need another deputy that just steamrolls into things. It was bad enough this morning."

"What was bad enough this morning?"

Rachel glanced over at Tom. "I… might have called… Eddie. After it happened. Because I didn't want to be on my own. He… stayed all weekend and dropped me off this morning."

"Who's Eddie?"

"That's brilliant Rachel. I mean. It is good, isn't it?" Tom said.

"Sort of. He is telling Melissa today that… we want to see whether we can make it work. The most important person in all this is Charlie and that is who, at least, me and Eddie have in mind. Plus, I am sure that Eddie would want him to know about me anyway."

"It won't be easy."

"Was getting over him? Tom… Something has been missing this term and it has just taken one phone call for me to realise what is missing. I've really missed him." She paused. "And I still love him."

Her phone buzzed and she got it out of her pocket. She opened the message from Eddie and could only smile and turn her phone to them.

"Baby Charlie."

She had already seen the father in Tom many times but it surprised her to see that even Chris showed a little of his paternal side.

"Eddie has spoken to Melissa and he is going to pick me up later for us all to discuss what happened."

"Is that a good thing? I don't really know Melissa like you do." Tom asked.

"Maybe. We will see. Might just be all an act."

"Is someone going to explain to me what happened and who Eddie and Melissa are?" Chris said.

Rachel turned to him. "Okay. This is a story of stupidity, loneliness and selfishness. I'm the stupid one, Eddie was the lonely one and Melissa… Melissa has always been the selfish one."

* * *

It was clear that the way that conversation started up naturally between her and Eddie, wasn't going to happen with the addition of Melissa. Eddie had made them all coffee and Rachel was trying to work out what was the right thing to say. Was it up to her to start things off?

They all listened to the front door opening and closing and it wasn't one of them to break the silence, but Philip.

"So the rumours are true then." He said as him and Ros stood at the entrance to the kitchen. "Danielle and Aleesha saw you get out of Eddie's car this morning."

"Of course it had to be those two." Rachel said.

"They did think that it might mean that he might come back. I said probably not."

"Well, if you answered your phone," Melissa said.

"Is this really how we are going to start this?"

"How are we meant to start it, Rachel?"

"I don't expect you to be jumping with joy or anything."

"Good."

"But… we think it can work." She said as she looked up at Eddie. "And I want to make it work. I… need someone by my side. I got used to that house being noisy. It is… a little too quiet now."

"And I don't see why we have anything to do with it."

"Mum!"

"What Philip?"

"I'll come back and live with you then," Philip said to Rachel.

"Philip, that is not a solution." Rachel said.

"But Charlie introducing his mum, dad and his auntie/dad's girlfriend is one," Melissa said.

"Philip, what's going on?" Ros asked as they all fell silent.

"I'll tell you upstairs."

Silence fell between them once more and Rachel was sure that they probably weren't going to sort this out. That all the talking that she had done with Eddie over the weekend would have been for nothing. The nights just another memory to add to the others that she had of her short-lived relationship with Eddie.

"Have you seen Max bullying her?" Eddie said.

"Eddie."

"Mr Tyler has always liked to be in control," Ros said.

"Tyler does seem to always take over when there is a speech to give. Rach, all you have to do is let me tell Bolton and I am sure the student body will protect you."

"Don't do that Philip. You know Bolton already has a black mark next to his name after the whole Amy Porter thing. Max is trying to find a reason to throw him out."

"What about Campbell? What is she saying about this all?"

"Kim thinks that I am making it all up. She thinks that I just don't want to get on with him and it has been made even worse when they started going out."

"Campbell and Tyler? Isn't she meant to be your friend?"

"Just leave it, Philip. Bad enough I had Chris saying that he would have words with Max and I think Tom is hovering over me now as well."

"You told them?" Eddie said.

"What did Chris say? I've seen rottweilers with less bite than you three in there today. Kinda just came out."

"Also has Hopeless Hopewell left?" Philip said.

"Oh, I wish I knew that earlier."

"Knew what?"

"You call her Hopeless Hopewell. Yes, she has. Turns out she… can't teach to save her life."

"We could have told you that."

Charlie's cries stopped the conversation going any further and Rachel could only smile at how eager Eddie was to go and attend to his son. All the heartbreak was worth that moment. She could tell that Ros wanted to leave the conversation ages ago but it seemed like Philip wasn't done with them.

"Rach… Mum. I want you to swap personalities. Mum, I want you to be as selfless as possible and Rach, I want you to be as selfish as possible. It is the only way we are going to sort out this mess."

Her eyes flick to Melissa and she knew that they both knew that Philip was right.

* * *

"Rachel, give him here. You two should get off to bed. You both have work in the morning." Melissa said as she got off the sofa.

Rachel passed Charlie to her and she found herself sighing into the sofa next to Eddie. It wasn't like Charlie was screaming the place down, he just wasn't going to sleep.

"Don't remind me. Although, I think after today, me and Max are on a better understanding."

"Really?" Eddie said.

"Yeah. The reason Helen was Max's star pupil was because he slept with her. I… didn't really expect that she would have left me their sex tape but… at least, I have something against him."

"Honestly Rach, you should just tell him to sling his hook," Melissa said.

"I wish. It isn't like I haven't given him the chance as well. I just don't think he is right for Waterloo Road."

"Do you want me to go in and sort him out?"

"And as the third person to ask me that, no. I am dealing with it. Although anything could happen. Got to go to court next week with one of the students. Hopefully, we can get her mum off for murdering her dad."

"Sounds like a big ask to me," Eddie said.

"I still think she is hiding something. Like she hasn't told me the whole story yet."

"And I am going to be Mum and send you two off to bed. You both have school in the morning and it is late enough as it is. We can discuss this all tomorrow. Go on, go."

Rachel turned to Eddie before she laughed. This was all so surreal to her. It only took one phone call for not only Eddie to be back in her life but the chance to rebuild the relationship she had with Melissa while building one with Charlie. She had gone from feeling so lonely to thinking that everything that was happening at Waterloo Road wasn't actually as bad as it first seemed.

Maybe things would work out between the three of them and their weird little family might work out for all of them. At the very least to make it seem like no one was on their own.


	29. Series 5 Episode 10

_Thank you for the reviews._

_Didn't quite know how I wanted to play this one exactly... but this is how I did. Mainly because it felt fitting that a certain someone should punch Max._

* * *

**Series 5 Episode 10**

Rachel hadn't missed the way that Tom and Steph were whispering to each other. The way that they were made her think that someone was going to tell her something. She would have put her money on Steph but it was actually Tom that seemed to lose whatever they were arguing about.

"Right, I'm off. I've got Josh tomorrow." He paused. "But before I go, Rachel, I don't think you would like us for doing this but… after this term and, especially, today, us old Waterloo Road lot thought you might benefit from seeing a familiar face."

"Tom, what are you on about?"

Tom only smiled at her before he left. Her eyes watched him as he greeted someone at the door before he left. If anything, she couldn't believe her eyes and she was only just aware of Jo asking who he was.

"Eddie." She breathed.

"Rachel." He cleared his throat. "I understand you've had quite a bad term."

"You could say that."

"Philip told me what happened when he got home. Explains his foul mood."

"You noticed that as well."

"Didn't tell me though."

"Why would he though? He knew the choice that we had made."

Eddie nodded at her. "I guess you know nothing about Charlie then."

"No."

"Sorry to interrupt, what is going on?" Chris said.

"Eddie Lawson, Rachel's old deputy." He turned to her before turning back to Chris. "And ex-boyfriend."

"Christopher Mead, Rachel's current deputy."

She didn't know why she was so happy when they shook hands. Maybe it was just the way that Chris had been with her. It had been a weird day and maybe that was why she felt like Chris was being a little more friendly with her.

"Shouldn't you be with Charlie?" She asked.

"Should being the wrong word. In the dog house at the moment. She won't let me see him unless she wants time to herself. Just dumps him on me. I was around there earlier to try and reason with her. That is how I saw Philip."

"Sounds like Melissa."

"I think I would be barred for life if she knew that I was here."

"Eddie…"

"No Rachel. When you came back after the fire, I told this lot to look after you. I thought that might be more apparent after I left. I… I know you let me in more, but I would have thought that at least Kim would have seen that you were sinking." He sighed. "Will you stop being so selfless for a night?"

"I think that is the same as getting her to relax for a night," Chris said.

"The school does have a lot of work to do to make the merger work," Rachel argued.

"Does she switch off?"

Eddie laughed. "Not usually. Most of the time she just needs to get it all out of her system."

Rachel found herself hitting his arm. It was just weird how they seemed to fall back into their natural ways. Like the five months separation meant nothing to them. That they could just pick up where they left off. It made her wonder why he was there and what Tom or Steph had said to get him to come. Part of her knew that this shouldn't happen. That this was going to be a one-night thing because he would have to go back to Charlie and Melissa at some point. That was probably the worst part of it.

Her face dropped as Max entered the pub. It was clear that he had already had a few drinks and she could tell that Eddie had caught on, standing close to her but also behind her, to keep out of the way.

"Hope I'm not interrupting," Max said as he placed a hand on Chris' shoulder. "Thought I'd drop by, share a drink with my colleagues."

"I really think you should go, Max."

If anything, she was more aware of Eddie's presence. She once joked that he was the head of her defence squad. She couldn't have been more right about that. Always ready to defend her.

"When did you start thinking, Christopher? Was it about the time you started going soft on her?"

It was then that Rachel knew what Max was going to say next. She placed her hand on Eddie's arm, telling him to keep his cool.

"You know, I can't see the attraction myself. But then, I never was into used goods."

She could even tell that Chris was angry at the comment. She could only imagine what the look on Eddie's face was. It wasn't so much the comment to her. She had learnt that she couldn't allow the comments to offend her. She just knew what he was going to ask next.

"I mean, out of interest, how much does she charge a member of staff? And who the hell are you? Keeping her bed warm for the night?"

Rachel let go of Eddie's arm and shrugged at him when he turned to her. There was a glint in his eye that she knew she had seen once upon a time, a long time ago. In her office, with Stuart Hordley. It was why it didn't surprise her when he punched Max. In fact, it was a lot more satisfying than she could ever imagine. Although anyone punching Max would have been satisfying. Maybe it was just the memories of Eddie doing it previously that made it so right that he was the one to punch him.

"Why don't you go home, Max?" Rachel said once he had picked himself off the floor. "I think you have embarrassed yourself enough for one day."

It wasn't until Max was gone that Eddie turned back to her with a smile. She was certain that she was smiling the same smile. Both being filled with the same memories. It just reminded her of how much they went through together.

"God, I've missed Waterloo Road." He said. "There is no other school where that would happen."

"I think it has missed you too."

"Mainly just a certain head," Steph said. "Well just imagine if you told him instead of Chris that you were going to resign today. I think Mr Lawson here would have done more than just told little old me."

"You must remember the last time you tried to do that." He said.

"I do. You got on to all the governors with Candice and Bolton told me that he would… only say that the gun wasn't Denzil's if I didn't leave."

"I definitely think I would have got the student body involved this time."

"Really?"

"Good old student protest. Like they did for Jack. I doubt that they would need much persuading and I think I would have just liked to see the look on Max's face."

"Right, I am calling you two a cab," Steph said.

"Steph." Rachel said.

"No, you two obviously have things that you need to talk about and, while the stuck up selfish cow isn't here, you can do it. Isn't it obvious? You two still feel the same way and I don't think I have seen her smile as much this term as she has done since you turned up."

Rachel tried not to smile but she couldn't.

"So I was the cold-hearted cow and Melissa is the stuck up selfish cow?"

"Look we have all agreed that we only put up with her because she was your sister. Now you two, get out of here."

It was the smile that Eddie gave her that made her believe Steph's words even more.

"Shall we then Lawson?"

"Of course Mason. You're the boss."

The only thing she could do was smile again.

* * *

Rachel reached into the cupboard and grabbed the bottle of beer before she placed it on the worktop. Eddie laughed and she couldn't remember the last time she felt this happy.

"Well, you left a whole crate of it here and I don't drink it. Almost had a party to get rid of it."

"Mason, you wouldn't have a party."

"No, I wouldn't. Maybe I could have just given it to Philip. He could have given it to you or done what he liked with it."

"Maybe."

"You know where the bottle opener is."

She walked to the fridge to get out the bottle of wine that she had started the night before. Not that she would have usually drunk alcohol on a school night. It was just getting that way with Max.

"Go on then, tell me all about this awful term."

"I actually thought that the merger was a good thing to begin with." She said as she poured her drink. "You know, a good way to just throw myself back into work. A lot of organising and planning and making sure of everything."

"Basically so you didn't have to think about me."

She laughed. "Exactly." She said as she nodded her head towards the door. "There were fights in both the staffroom and the playground. And actual proper fight in the playground. I have never seen so many kids fighting at the same time. Took us a while to get them all to separate."

They settled in the living room, on the sofa, with Rachel one end and Eddie the other. She tucked her feet underneath her and turned towards him. He had his arm laying across the back. Nothing had changed. Absolutely nothing and it made her smile again.

"Max told me the first day that he didn't think I was up for the job. Then there was the whole girl gang thing. Got so angry with Michaela that I said that I would exclude her if she didn't stop the girl gang thing."

"You must have been angry."

"Then there was everything with Linsday James. Poor girl. Being abused by her father and the only thing that made her snap was the fact that he was going to do the same to her little sister. She killed him. And it annoyed Max that I was the one that she confided in. I apparently pamper the students. Get too involved in their lives."

"I think that is why you are such a good head. I can only guess the Kellys are still doing well."

"Rose is still off the drink and Sam and Denzil are progressing as they should be."

"You got involved in their lives."

"They were my pet project."

"But look how it turned out. I am sure Linsday was pleased to have your support."

"My only problem at the moment is… I don't know whether I have to make things up to Kim or whether it was the other way around. We… haven't been the best of friends."

"I think you will both be fine."

"I know." She sighed. "So Charlie?"

"Do I state the obvious?"

"Sorry?"

"My son and your new nephew."

"And the reason we broke up."

"Reason I am now in the dog house. Melissa didn't like the fact that I was telling him about you. Not that she really has a choice because as soon as Philip heard me, he has been doing the same."

"Really?"

"Why should Charlie miss out on his auntie Rachel? I can't allow that. Not when you are the most remarkable person I know."

"Eddie."

"It is true." He sighed. "He was born 28th October. A little early but he was fine. Melissa did want to call him Quentin."

"Really?"

"Luckily I managed to talk her out of it. Quentin Lawson didn't seem right. And he was always going to be a Lawson."

"I don't know what was going through her head when she thought that was a good name."

"What would you have gone with?"

She sighed, wondering whether the conversation would turn to this. Of course, she had thought about it. Of course, she wanted a child of her own. She was just leaving it too late.

"Tommy, or Isaac. I quite like Oscar as well."

"You know what, I quite like them all as well."

"Eddie."

"No. Rach, let me in again."

"You are going to ask why I couldn't do it. Why we couldn't have worked things out back then."

"Well?"

"How could we Eddie? When Melissa had everything I wanted. You proposed to her and she had your child. I… I wanted that for us."

"Rachel."

"I… just couldn't tell you then. Because I thought we would have longer. Because I never imagined that she would come back pregnant."

"Well maybe if I did what we preach to the kids, she wouldn't have had that chance."

"I wouldn't like to say we were the most careful."

"I didn't want to be careful with you. Rach, we wanted the same thing. I just didn't know whether you were ready for that. It was something I was going to bring up on our… holiday of a lifetime."

"Second time you didn't make it to your holiday."

"Rachel, I have missed you."

"I have missed you too."

She placed down her drink and moved her position, so that the back of her head rested on his shoulder as she stretched out on the sofa. She took the hand of his arm on the back of the sofa, bringing it to rest in her lap. She could only smile as he placed a kiss in her hair. A rather familiar position for them to be in. She knew the conversation that was going to follow and it was one that would be better if Eddie couldn't see her face. Because she knew that he could still read her so well.

"I don't care if I am in the dog house forever. I am willing to make it work if you want it to. We can still have everything that we did want together."

"That's what makes everything complicated. Just think about it, Eddie. Charlie is your son and my nephew. If we married then what would I be to him? Would I be his step-mum or his auntie? I can tell you now that Melissa wouldn't be happy with that at all. Philip eventually told me about what she said when she found him. Something about me messing with his head and turning a lot of people against her. So the last thing she would want me to be is Charlie's step-mum."

"Then let's take Melissa out of the equation."

"We can't. She is his mother." She sighed. "And then if we had a baby of our own. They would be Charlie's half-sibling as well as being his cousin. It would be confusing for both of them and… we know how kids can be. What if they got bullied because of it?"

"Christ, I forgot how much you do worry. Rachel, take everyone else out of the equation. Take me and Melissa and Philip and Charlie. What do you want?"

She looked down at their hands that were joined in her lap. The last few months had been hard. The last few months had been long. And she knew why that was. Because she was trying to forget. Because nothing felt right because he wasn't by her side. She had noted how Kim would always stand to her right, knowing that would be where she would turn to get Eddie's opinion on something.

_What do you want?_

"Does that matter?"

"Yes, it does. For once, please be selfish."

"I want you. And everything that we could have had."

"So that is where we start. We knew that there was always going to be a possibility that Melissa would have come back when we started our relationship. I am more than happy to pick up where we left off. I… You know I don't love her. You know I am only with Melissa because of Charlie. I'll deal with her. It is my fault all this happened."

"I don't really think you can take all the blame."

"Okay, it was mine and Melissa's fault."

"It was mine too."

"Because you pushed me away because I pushed you too soon? I know you better Rachel. I should have known that it was the reaction you would give. I love you, Rachel, always have done and always will."

She turned to look up at him. "I love you too."

Rachel would never admit to Steph how right she was. They did still feel the same about each other. The months apart hadn't diluted the love that they had for each other and now that they were reunited, Rachel thought that it might even be a little stronger. She knew she wouldn't have the strength to let him go again and it made her wonder why she thought that they couldn't solve it.


	30. Series 5 Episode 11

_Thank you for the reviews._

_Honestly, the little recurring themes are just something that I usually write once and like so much that they do become a recurring theme. As for the names... that was a little shoutout to WR, WM/IaWW, TIDU and Push My Luck... And Isaac was almost named Oscar. That is why that is there as well._

_Now, this is the penultimate one of theses. I know... _

_Previewed this one on Twitter because I get impatient when I think I have had a good idea. In all honesty, if you want to see what I am working on at the moment, Twitter is the best place to find all that stuff out. Because I have no self-control whatsoever. Although I don't think anyone is complaining when I give sneak peeks._

* * *

**Series 5 Episode 11**

"Kim, it was so close."

Kim knew that Rachel very rarely let her emotions play out but she could see the way that her friend was not okay and she knew that today had shaken her in more than one way. The fire must have been playing on her mind and Kim honestly didn't know how to help her. Great head of Pastoral Care she was if she couldn't think how she could help her friend that was obviously struggling with what had happened.

"Actually, do you mind if you give me…"

"No, go," Kim said, interrupting her.

"Is that alright?"

"Go, go."

Rachel would need time to herself. Kim hoped that word might have got to Philip. He was someone who knew her a little better. Maybe he could give her a little bit more comfort. Plus, she was sure that he would be worried sick.

"Just… Just give her a minute." She said to Chris before she heard the door to the office close.

It was only a few moments later that Philip ran up the stairs and into the antechamber. The worry was clear on his face.

"Is she okay?" He asked.

"No. I really don't think she is. I don't think she should be alone tonight Philip."

"I'll go home with her. Make sure she at least eats something."

"Or… I know you know her well. But we both know there is someone who knows her a lot better than us. Philip, you are only 17. You shouldn't have to deal with the emotional problems of your auntie."

"Do you really think we should involve him? Only… Mum would kill him. She had already told him a number of times that she will never let him see Charlie again if he doesn't stop telling him about Rachel. Although, I do the same."

"I think, at the very least, she might benefit from seeing a friendly face. That isn't mine or yours. Someone who could only imagine what she was thinking as she was running away from the caravan."

"I'll give him a call."

"Sorry, who are you on about?" Chris said.

Kim looked to Philip before turning back to Chris.

"Eddie Lawson."

* * *

Rachel tried to breathe through it, to stop her emotions taking over, but soon enough her body started to shake as the sobs came. She promised herself that she wouldn't put her life at risk anymore. Not when he wasn't there to save her. She placed her hand over her mouth to try and stop them from sounding out.

Her eyes closed as she tried to stop the tears. She was meant to be strong. She was meant to be able to lead the school.

And she had almost got herself killed. At least this time it was for a student.

Her hand dropped away from her mouth and rested on her chest, right above where her scar was. Even though it had happened a couple of years ago, it proved that she hadn't healed properly. The mental scars from the fire were still prominent and she knew that it would take her a while to build herself back up again. Another hit to her mental health.

She heard the door open and close and she thought that it was Chris and Kim, probably one of them going to give her a lecture on how she shouldn't have done what she did. Instead, she opened her eyes to see Eddie standing in the middle of the room, a worried look on his face but his eyes showed understanding. She placed her coat on the sofa and stood up, glad that he hadn't said anything just yet. He held out his arms and she found herself walking into them. She grabbed the back of his coat tightly as he wrapped his arms around her. The sobs came again but she knew that she could let herself feel completely and utterly vulnerable in front of him. Even if they hadn't seen each other for months.

"Philip called." He said.

"Did he?"

"Said him and Kim thought you could do with seeing a friendly face."

"Did they?"

"Someone who knew you best."

"Really?"

"Kim thinks that you shouldn't be on your own tonight."

"Probably not."

"Then I will stay with you. And Philip, if he wants to."

"I can't…"

"You can. I am fairly certain she will be okay for one night without us. I'm in the dog house anyway."

"Why am I actually not surprised?"

"She keeps catching me talking to Charlie about you. She hasn't caught Philip yet."

"Why would you do that?"

"Why not? Should Charlie miss out on his auntie, who just happens to be the most remarkable woman I know, because of our stupidity?"

She didn't get the chance to answer that question when there was a knock on the door before it opened. Rachel turned her head to see Chris and Kim there, with a bottle of wine in Chris' hand. She could tell that Chris wasn't happy, whether that was because of the day's events or just because Eddie was there after what happened between them at the end of last term.

"Right. No matter what you say, you need a drink. Red wine is required." He said as he walked over to the sofa.

"I think she needs something a little stronger than that. Is there no whiskey?" Eddie said as he let her go.

"First thing Max got rid of in my office." Rachel said as she found herself sitting back down.

She wondered whether Eddie was going to follow her but he remained standing, obviously giving her a better chance to glance over at him. She thought he was going to ask who Max was but she knew that he knew it was a question for another time.

"And you also need a lecture about how important you are to this school." Chris continued.

"I don't think now is the time," Eddie said. "Plus, you must have worked out by now that she likes to get herself into trouble."

"She should never have taken that risk."

Rachel watched as Kim and Eddie shared a look and she noticed Kim tapping Chris' arm. They both knew this was a conversation for another time. She picked up one of the glasses of wine and looked into it.

"How did he get in here?" She said.

"Rachel… you know how it works. You are just going to ask yourself the same questions you did after the gun." Eddie said.

She glanced up at him and knew that he was right. It didn't stop her from asking the question to herself but she knew that it was going to happen, whether it happened that day or another day.

"As of next week, we've got to focus our efforts." She started.

"Oh come on Rachel," Chris said.

"Let her finish," Eddie said.

"Why?"

"Because she needs to get it out of her system. When I get her home, all I want to do is focus on her. Not the school."

"Maybe he is right Eddie." Rachel said.

"No, get it out of your system."

She sighed and she could tell that Chris didn't really know what to make of Eddie. The problem was she knew how right Eddie was. She did have to get it out of her system and she didn't think that Eddie would want to hear her plans for a school that he didn't even work at anymore.

"We've got to put our pupils' emotional health right at the top of the agenda. Yeah? And Kim, it might be worth looking into something for both Bianka and Micheal. They have just seen their father blow himself up."

Kim nodded. "And maybe for you as well."

Her eyes glanced at Eddie before she turned back to her friend. "Yeah, maybe."

She allowed herself to smile slightly as she watched Chris looking between the three of them. It wasn't completely fair on him. Although, she didn't think that she would let him in quite like she had let Eddie and Kim in.

She closed her eyes for a moment.

"It was just so close. If… if the lighter had lit on the first go…"

"A bit close to home," Eddie said.

"It would just have been someone else I would have failed."

Someone was bound to say something but Eddie's phone rang and by the look on his face, it was only one person.

"Answer it." She said. "You know that she will only keep calling you."

He sighed before he did as he was told.

"Melissa."

Rachel knew that it was going to be the end of their small reunion. If anything, it had calmed her down and she was willing to accept any help that Kim was going to throw her way. Mainly because he was willing her to take it.

"Look, either I can come round and help you or you want me to have nothing to do with Charlie. Can you just make your mind up? Because last night made it sound like I was barred." He paused. "What if I have something more important to do tonight?" He glanced over to her. "Not that you particularly care but your sister almost died today. That is why Philip has gone round hers and that is why I am currently standing in her office." He huffed. "Melissa. You've had us for the last six or so months. She has had no one. At the very least this is going to be one night. You be like that." He hung up and turned to her. "Apparently Philip is at your's, cooking dinner."

"He is too good to me."

"He is your nephew. You deserve one family member to look after you."

"You go and be with Charlie."

"No. I've riled Melissa up now. She might actually sort out her priorities after tonight. Or I'll never see Charlie again."

"I don't want that for you."

"I know. But you know what she is like."

"Exactly. She might not be there tomorrow. I…"

"I know. But what did I say to you? On the last day of the school year?" He said as he walked over to her.

"I was your first responsibility." She said as she looked up at him.

"That still stands. Even now. Come on, let's get you home."

She almost didn't take his hands. She knew she would have to thank Kim in the morning for the fact that she did the one thing that she couldn't do. Kim had brought Eddie Lawson back into her life but Rachel knew that letting him go this time would be harder than the second time around.

* * *

"I was just going to come and find you," Kim said as Rachel closed the door of the pastoral care office behind her.

"I thought it would be better to do it here."

"You don't have to be in today Rachel. Not if you don't feel up for it."

"I'm only on emergency only. Obviously on the orders of a certain someone." Rachel found herself smiling. "Kim, thank you for that yesterday. Philip told me it was your idea."

"I could tell that you were drowning… I just didn't know what to do. I knew that Eddie would. Plus Philip is only a kid still. He didn't need to be dealing with you in that state by himself."

"How was Chris about it all?"

"He thought Eddie was into magic or something. He couldn't believe it when you said maybe to getting some help."

"I was drowning. Philip is going to stay with me for the reason of the week. Luckily his cooking isn't too bad."

"I don't think I would say no to a personal chef."

Rachel sighed into one of the sofas and Kim joined her. She knew that she could talk to Kim about what she wanted to talk about.

"We did a lot of talking last night. Mainly him showing me videos of Charlie. It… it makes me want to meet him. My new nephew. Just… last night… it was nice. It was nice to have the house noisy again. It was nice to have Eddie there."

"Can't you make it work?"

"Melissa. She is the only reason why it wouldn't work. Eddie would love to make it work. It was just… hard to let him go this morning."

"What if you spoke to Melissa?"

"I am the last person she would want to speak to."

"I wouldn't be so certain about that."

It felt like as Melissa burst into the room that she realised where she was. Rachel was certain that she was looking at her sister in disbelief as she stood up. She really didn't expect to see her.

"Well, that is one way to get me back into your life. Almost dying again." Melissa paused and her features softened. "You must have been terrified."

"I was."

Melissa placed the car seat on the floor before she walked over to Rachel. It was weird. Rachel wanted to hug her but their relationship wasn't what it was. Maybe she knew why she did rely on Melissa. Because, at the very least, Melissa was always going to be her little sister.

"I know I haven't been the best sister in the world but… what Eddie said last night and this morning to me made some sense. And I've been thinking about how one of the last things you said to me was 'I think you'll all going to be fine'. That isn't how I want to leave things with you. And maybe… Eddie is right. Maybe Charlie does deserve to know about you. I mean… you have always been the better sister. You have always looked out for me. Just… don't tell Eddie that I said that."

"I won't. I know how he can be when he is told that he is right."

"Can we talk? Sort something between us?"

"Shall we go to my office?"

Melissa nodded at her. "Plus, I think it is time Charlie met his Auntie Rachel after hearing so much about her. Honestly, the boys can not shut up about you. And then they wonder why I get jealous." She laughed. "I am serious Rachel. Let's sort this."

Rachel turned to Kim briefly before looking back at her sister.

"Come on. Let me take Charlie. I am sure you've had enough of carrying him about. Time I started doing some of my auntie duties."

"Good. Another pair of hands then because when he wants to scream the place down, he really goes for it."

"I'll speak to you later Kim." Rachel said before she left the room.

"You go and sort that out. Might come in later for a cuddle."

She smiled at her friend before falling in step with her sister, holding tightly onto the handle of the car seat as they made their way to her office. She didn't expect it to be an easy conversation but it made what her and Eddie had talked about the night before felt like a possibility. Time would only tell.


	31. Series 5 Episode 20

_Thank you for the reviews and your support._

_The fourth rewrite... of probably many at this rate..._

_Everyone on Twitter knows that this episode was torture for me. So much so that I didn't even rewatch the whole episode. I literally watched until Adam comes into the wedding hall and stopped. But this is all in aid of making everything better. So I hope you like this and have enjoyed all the little changes that I have made over the last 31 chapters._

_The next story will be Count On Me. One that I know a lot of people are excited about. I'll let you know on Twitter when I am thinking of uploading the first chapter._

* * *

**Series 5 Episode 20**

"So, you agree with Adam? You think I let my work rule my life?"

Rachel knew that Philip was going to say yes but there was a look on his face that showed that he was a little bit more understanding than Adam.

"I know why you do it, Rach. And… maybe I do know why you don't trust Mr Mead as much as you should do. I get it."

"Then do you understand why I am doing this?"

"Yes."

She believed him and she knew that if she had no one else, she would always have Philip. Someone that knew her when others didn't.

"I am in two minds. I don't know whether I want him to turn up or not."

"Who?"

She swallowed. "Adam. Does…" She started before trailing off, knowing that Philip already knew the question.

"No. Not yet."

"Are you?"

"Was planning on."

"Good."

"Rach… if you are having second thoughts, you don't have to go through with it."

She thought about it for a moment before she turned back to Philip.

"No. I said I would marry him. That is what I am going to do."

"Right. I'm going to take that though." He said as his hand dived for her phone. "You can get it back at the end of the day."

Rachel found herself laughing but her smile dropped as soon as Philip had left the room.

Was she doing the right thing?

* * *

Rachel had almost given up hope until the doors came crashing open and Adam ran into the room. There he was. The man that was going to be her husband. The man that she could find herself loving. She felt like she was halfway there. The only thing she had to do was let a certain someone go. Not that she was ready to let him go yet.

But she would.

One day.

Just not any time soon.

"Are you ready?" She asked him.

"Yeah."

They turned back to the official and Rachel gave her a smile. Everything was sort of okay, just she didn't expect another person to come crashing through the door. She turned to Philip who shrugged at her. Did he think this is what she wanted?

"Who the hell is he?" Adam asked.

It meant that she wasn't daydreaming. That he was actually there. She dropped her grip from Adam's arm and walked towards Eddie. He met her halfway and she had no idea what the first thing she should say to him. It had been a year since she last saw him.

"Charles James Lawson," Eddie said in a low voice.

"Another nephew?" She said, matching his tone.

"One that is missing out on his auntie."

"That doesn't explain why you are here."

"No, it doesn't."

"Then why are you here?"

"To make sure that this is your choice."

"Of course it is."

"I don't believe you."

"Why? Because it isn't you?"

"No, because this isn't you."

"Eddie."

"Just… Tell me."

"Tell you what?"

"Tell me… Tell me that we are over. For good. That we can never have a second go of it. Tell me that I was the biggest idiot ever and that Adam can give you everything you have ever wanted and more. Tell me that he will look after you. Tell me he understands you. Tell me that he understands you better than I ever would. Tell me." His voice dropped to a whisper. "Tell me that you don't love me. Tell me that you love him more than you have ever loved me."

She could feel the tears coming. She should be able to tell him all that. She wanted to be selfless and honest but those two things ended at two different outcomes. She knew that he already knew her answer. He already knew the conflict in her.

"I think you already know I can't." She whispered back.

"Then don't marry him."

"Rachel? Who the hell is he?" Adam said.

She hadn't realised how close she had got to Eddie. There was no way that she could deny the way that she was still drawn to Eddie or how the time or separation had made no difference to how she felt about him.

"Rachel!"

She turned to Adam, knowing that she would have to explain. She just didn't want to.

"He's Eddie Lawson. My deputy before Chris and… my… my ex-boyfriend."

"Him? He's the one that got your sister pregnant."

"Steph." Rachel breathed.

"Well, I am glad someone caught me up with everything. Seems like you weren't going to tell me."

"Because I knew you would react like this."

"So why is he here? Today of all days?"

"I don't know."

"Did you have something to do with this?" Adam said as he turned to Philip.

"All I'm going to say is… two truanting kids."

"Not that again. You are just as bad as her."

"Two truanting kids?" Eddie whispered.

"Maybe later." She whispered back. "Anyway, where were you? Why were you late?"

"Blaming me again?"

"I just wondered why you were late. Because I don't know about you Adam, but I was always going to be here today, whether there were two truanting kids or not. I was always going to be standing there, waiting to become Mrs Rachel Fleet. You wanted this. You wanted me to be your wife. At the moment, I am wondering whether I wanted more than you did."

"You are being ridiculous."

"Am I now?"

"Yes. It isn't my ex that has turned up at my wedding."

"And it wasn't going to be me who was going to miss out on our wedding."

Silence fell and Rachel wondered whether this was how it was going to be for them. Always arguing about something. Would it end up in her making the ultimate sacrifice for him? Would she give up Waterloo Road just to keep the peace between them?

"Rach, I know now isn't a good time," Philip said as he moved from his place next to Ros over to her. "But it is Campbell. She has called a couple of times."

She almost snatched her phone out of his hand and pressed the button to answer the call.

"Kim?"

"_Rachel. I hope I am not interrupting."_

"Not at all."

"_Just we have confirmation. Chris didn't want to tell you anything because he was going to deal with it but I think it is only fair that you know. You had every right to be worried. Finn had almost talked Amy into committing suicide with him. They were going to drown themselves on the beach. I'm going to go and see what help I can get for Finn. All of his so-called attention-seeking seems like a shout for help now."_

Rachel sighed. "Thanks for letting me know."

She hung up and handed Philip back her phone. She closed her eyes as she thought how the day might have gone if she hadn't been the one to raise her concerns.

"Were they found? Fumbling about on the beach?" Adam said.

"You know what? Explaining it to you isn't worth it. Because you don't understand. You… You act like you care but I don't know whether you actually do. And I should have seen it earlier but… I left Chris to deal with it because I thought that it might help him get out any past grievances."

"Seen what?"

"That we had a serious lonely and depressed kid who was screaming out for help. He wanted to commit suicide with Amy. He wanted them both to drown together. Everything felt wrong about it but… all you seemed to care about was this wedding that you almost didn't bother showing up for." She paused. "Come on then Adam, what was more important than our wedding day? Why did you even bother coming?"

"Ruby showed me the cake."

"I'm sorry."

"Ruby showed me the cake. Your ninth attempt. Rachel, I thought you didn't want this. I thought that your precious school was all you cared about. I mean, you told me this morning that you couldn't even be bothered to book the hotel. We only have your nephew and his… whatever as guests. You wanted no fuss and this is what we got. We aren't having a reception. I love you, Rachel. I wanted everyone to know that."

"I said you could invite your family but you didn't. You could have invited your brother to be your best man but you didn't. Maybe sometimes my priorities aren't the same as yours but… as I've said, with or without Philip, I would have been standing here. You are telling me that you are here because of a cake."

"It's not like that."

"Tell me again."

"Tell you what?"

"Tell me that you love me."

"Rachel…"

"Just do it, Adam."

"I love you, Rachel."

She swallowed as she turned to Eddie. He didn't need any prompting.

"I love you, Rachel," Eddie said.

Her mind cast her back to the last time he had said that and the fact that those four words coming from Eddie meant more to her than they did coming from Adam told her everything she needed to know. The fact that Eddie's declaration felt more genuine than Adam's told her everything.

She was only doing this to keep Adam happy. But it wasn't. She was never going to do enough to keep him happy.

"I can't do this." She said.

"Can't do what?" Adam said, jumping on the defensive.

"I can't marry you."

"It's him! I mean, why has he turned up on today of all days?"

"I told Philip to call him," Ros said. "He told me that he thought that Miss… Rachel was having second thoughts and he wondered whether she was making a mistake. I told him that if he felt that way that he should do something about it. I know I haven't been overly involved in this whole wedding but the parts that I have been… it is like you want Rachel to be grateful for everything that you have given up for you. I don't know the full story about what happened when them and Melissa but all I do know is that Eddie loves her. Just because of the way he speaks to Charlie about her.

"Actually, Philip thinks that you are a bully. He thinks that after everything she has been through, she doesn't need to be married to someone who will end up breaking her heart all over again. He wants her to be with someone who loves her and will care for her. Someone who knows that she will worry over two truanting kids whether they were found 'fumbling about' on a beach or planning to commit suicide together. Someone that knows that she doesn't switch off. That she is always going to blame herself if something goes wrong. Someone who knows that she thinks that she can do everything and knows when she needs reminding that she can't. Someone that knows she is a brilliant headteacher and will never try and take that away from her."

Rachel didn't know why she looked up at Eddie but she knew exactly who Ros was talking about. The description wasn't Adam but Eddie. She obviously had no idea what he had said to his son but she could see him talking that passionately about her.

Her friend. Her confidant. Her deputy.

Her Eddie.

"Sorry to interrupt. Can we guess that this isn't happening? Just we have another wedding that is meant to start in a couple of minutes. So we need the room." The official said.

"No. It isn't happening." Rachel said before Adam could say anything. "We are so sorry for wasting your time."

She turned on her heel, knowing that Eddie, Philip and Ros would all follow her out.

* * *

"You two could still make the prom." Rachel said as she leant against the counter.

"We could. But… I would rather be here with you. You know, just in case he turns up." Philip said.

"Philip, honestly, I will be fine. And no, that would be an awful idea."

"Why not?"

"Because I would never hear the end of it from Kim. All year, she has bugged me about calling Eddie. The only time she stopped was when she realised that it was more serious between me and Adam than she first expected."

Ros smiled at them as she left to answer the door after the bell rang, leaving the auntie and nephew to talk.

"Earlier, did you mean Adam?"

"I don't know who I wanted to show up. Neither of them would have been better than both of them."

"Ros is right about Eddie."

"I don't doubt that."

"And even though I know there is no chance that him and Mum are going to get back together, I would prefer him as my uncle rather than my sort-of-step-dad."

"I would too." She whispered.

Rachel could only smile as Eddie finally joined them, with Charlie tucked into the crook of his neck. It made her realise everything that she had missed out with Philip and how much of Charlie's life she had already missed. But it also reminded her of what she wanted and how it made things complicated.

"Hey mate. No need to be shy. This is Auntie Rachel."

Charlie looked up at his father before going back to how he was.

"He is adorable." Rachel said.

"He would probably be more keen if Melissa didn't want to argue. I try not to argue around him but… well, you know what she is like."

"Does she know you are here?"

"What do you think we argued about?"

"She might come around to the idea."

"Rach… you are too kind sometimes."

"I'll second that," Philip said. "Well, you are. Do I only have to remind you that you were fully prepared to give Tyler Waterloo Road?"

"What?"

"Haydock stopped her."

"Maybe we should go back to the reason that he actually got banned from teaching." Rachel said.

"No, because that will take the focus off you. Honestly Rach… home is like… we are all waiting for a bomb to go off. Whether Mum is going to leave again or we are going to fall out with her, we don't know. There have been a few occasions where I have almost asked you whether I can move back here."

"You know that you are always welcomed here, Philip."

"Or maybe… we can just have that talk we should have had a year ago." Eddie said.

"Yeah. So you two should get to Prom."

"It wouldn't be the same without you, Rach. You know that." Philip said.

"You don't need me there."

"When our year looks up to you more than any other year. I think you have forgotten how much you have been through together."

"He does have a point," Eddie said. "Why don't we go?"

"Because Miss Campbell has been trying to get her to call you all year," Ros said.

"Right, all of you. Out of my house. I didn't ask you all round to be insulted."

"Come on Mason. She might be glad to find out that you didn't marry Adam."

Rachel sighed as she looked between them all.

"Right, I'll get changed again. And Lawson, you are not going like that. Thankfully you left one of your shirts here."

She didn't miss Philip's smile and she knew that she would have to thank them both later for what they did for her.

* * *

"Go on then."

"What?" Kim said.

"Go on. Say it."

"Do you want your cuddle with Dex now?"

Rachel turned to her friend. "Not that."

"The 'I told you so' regarding Eddie."

"Yes. That."

"I think he is swapping notes with Chris at the moment."

"Kim."

"No… I am glad that you are back with him. Ruby told me earlier that she hoped that Adam would get there in time and when she told me what he was doing… I was just angry at him. For him to compare throwing spoons into a bowl to the worry you had for Finn and Amy, and you were right to be, just was insane."

"I don't think he understood this place and what it means to me."

"Do you think…"

"Most definitely. I can't give this place up Kim. Not that I know how much more I can do."

"Maintain the progress?"

"Soon it would be time for new blood. I think I have another year in me."

"If you don't try and get yourself killed again."

"Maybe not with Eddie by my side, not in all aspects, but… I do want to try it again. Just… you should have heard him earlier Kim. Just… the way he asked me to tell him a bunch of things that I knew I couldn't tell him was true. Then he just came out with it. 'Then don't marry him'. You did call in the middle of it."

"You said it was fine."

"It was one of the last nails in the coffin. Both Finn and Amy will need our support. Maybe… we need to look into why Amy attaches herself to people in the way that she does."

"Maybe. And maybe, for one night, you can stop thinking about the school."

"You know I can't."

"No, but it was worth a shot."

Rachel only shook her head as she watched Eddie and Chris talk.

"No." She said.

"You could."

"It wouldn't be fair on Chris."

"He could just come back as a maths teacher."

"You know he couldn't Kim. If Eddie was to rejoin the teaching staff, he would have to be my deputy again and that wouldn't be fair on Chris, even if they were both my deputies. Plus, we have to get the okay from Melissa yet."

"So she knows?"

"Her and Eddie had an argument about it when he 'had' to go and pick up Charlie."

"Things will sort themselves out."

"If it is meant to be and all that."

"I haven't heard you speak this positivity in a while."

"I didn't have a reason to." Rachel sighed as Eddie started to walk over to them. "Well here comes trouble."

She turned to Kim and Rachel knew that she hadn't seen her this happy for a while. Everything over the last year was always going to be worse than they were because Eddie wasn't there. He was the source of her happiness and she knew that she should have given their relationship more of a chance. Maybe they would have found a way.

She would forever be grateful for him crashing her wedding.


End file.
